I want to explore this new girl but don't want to lose something I already have
Q. Hello readers. I hope you can give me some insight in the hope that I would understand my feelings and know what to do. Firstly I have a gf, been together for 1.5yrs. I don't know if I love her or if I am emotionally attached. She says she loves m...
A. 13 August 2014: "Is this common?" Yes and no. Every person in a committed relationship experiences attraction to others from time to time, even if it is only slight. However, this isn't just a little crush. You're actually considering this other woman. DO... (read in full...)
His porn preference is for larger women, I am slim, should I worry?
Q. My boyfriend is into big girls who are pretty, but I am slim - he does love me and find me sexy but it makes me insecure. I know he is into lots of types of girls, but his porn preference is BBW. Do I need to worry? He wants to marry me and buy a ...
A. 4 August 2014: Porn preference usually has nothing to do with real life. He may like the look of big women, but big women will be more likely to have health problems. If not when they're young, then later in life. Since he obviously wants a long term relationship ... (read in full...)
I'm a shy, inexperienced, guy.
Q. So let me start off by saying that I am a 24-year-old virgin (sad I know). Anyway, there is this girl at my job that I'm really attracted to, sometimes I think I catch her looking at me (I could be wrong, but having been in a similar sitch before ...
A. 3 August 2014: "I am a 24-year-old virgin (sad I know)."
I HATE this attitude.
Let me put it to you this way, which sounds like the better man to you? The first one works hard, gets a "high" feeling from accomplishment, treats his family and friends well, an... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got mad at me for sending a Happy Birthday messsage on Facebook
Q. My girlfriend got mad at me for sending a Happy Birthday message to a girl I used to do sexting with on Facebook. She says she dosen't want to see me anymore , what should I do ? I don't see the big deal ! All I said was happy Birthday. My ...
A. 3 August 2014: Look, if you actually want to prove you only want to be with her, then you can't have ANY contact with this woman. It may not seem "right", but I can see the logic behind it. What's the point in keeping in contact with this woman? You're not friends ... (read in full...)
Not sexually compatible. She's beautiful and we've been together 5 years. What can I do?
Q. I have a problem that I think may be pretty common, so I would like to hear from people who have been through it, or are currently dealing with it. I have a partner who is great in every way. Independent, smart, good looking, shares a lot of ...
A. 15 July 2014: "I feel like I'm with the best woman that ever existed or will exist"
I have a feeling THIS is your problem. You view her as some goddess or perfect being, and you feel unworthy of her. Correct me if I'm wrong, of course, but that's the impressi... (read in full...)
I have been invited to spend time with my Bf's elderly grandmother. What can I do there so don't feel like a freeloader?
Q. I'm going away for the Summer, to my boyfriend's grandma place. She's quite the old lady (90 I think) and lives in a very, very small town by the river (the whole town has about 20 houses). She owns a farm, so I'll be getting home cooked meal...
A. 15 July 2014: I think you're being too hard on yourself. You're not going there to LIVE there and become dependent on her to take care of you. You are there to visit, and typically the person who invited you will also feed you while you are there.
I think yo... (read in full...)
What's the best way to approach a woman? Need tips please
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 24 year old young man who is afraid to approach women. I'm not inexperienced in terms of a relationship or anything like that because I've had serious relationship and they've gone pretty well until they just fade out, and ...
A. 14 July 2014: Fear of rejection is normal, to an extent. Your problem from what I can tell by what you've written is your mindset. You think EVERY woman you want to approach will reject you. Try to figure out why that is.
Other ways to think about this I t... (read in full...)
There is only one you!
Q. Why do some women think the key to a happy relationship or sex life is being beautiful? And why is their standard of beauty always the "clones" they see on t.v. or in porn? It's always some big boobed, long (extended) haired, extremely thin waist ...
A. 10 July 2014: I like this, and it's true. I apologize for the late response, I don't check the articles section very often.
I think the reason women do this is because like you said, they THINK it will make them happy. The truth is, it wouldn't. No matter w... (read in full...)
Is any man excited by an average looking female body after watching porn?
Q. I am concerned that my bfs constant access to a never ending stream of physically perfect women in porn to look at and masturbate to is causing him to get bored with my appearance. He simply doesn't seem excited by the sight of me anymore yet if h...
A. 9 July 2014: I apologize, I didn't see your followup until I already submitted my answer. What I said at the end, I wouldn't change though. Women with all different types of looks have dealt with this problem. There is still no "one size fits all" look that men ... (read in full...)
Guys, would you initiate/maintain physical contact with a girl you aren't interested in?
Q. I am not sure what to make of my crush's physical signals. Guys, would you initiate/maintain physical contact with a girl you aren't interested in? This guy I like is sort of a friend of a friend, so I know him, and we've gotten to know each oth...
A. 8 July 2014: Have you observed how he acts around others? It could be he is just a "touchy feely" type, meaning he likes having physical contact with others. It doesn't have to mean he's interested in them, it could just be part of how he communicates with ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but this turns men off
Q. I'm a virgin and I plan to stay that way until I'm married. I'm not particularly religious, but I was raised that way and the few times I did try to have sex, it was impossible because I was so tense! The guy got sick of being frustrated (I'd ...
A. 7 July 2014: How can you know if you want to marry someone before dating them? To me, that's why you date someone, to get to know them better, and to find out if they're someone you could see yourself being with for life. Unless you're referring your thoughts on ... (read in full...)
Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person?
Q. Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person? My husband barely makes enough to support us. We don't even have children. We have talked about adoption in the future when we are better off. We're in our mid twenties. I ofte...
A. 7 July 2014: No, it doesn't make you a bad person. I think you have low self esteem, and you should seek counseling. It sounds like you're depressed from your bad experience with the place that let you go. Letting it keep you down for years is not healthy.
... (read in full...)
Steamy emails make me think I might be sharing her
Q. so i found on a shared computer a open e mail account, i opened it and right from the top i saw several e mails to one man in a span of several hours. i stared to open them and read, wow, some very steamy ones. some written in a short story form and ...
A. 7 July 2014: I'm afraid there is nothing to resolve here. If you wait on this woman to change her ways, you'll die waiting. Sorry to sound morbid, but you'll never be able to trust her. She has no regret what so ever about what she's doing. She cheated in her ... (read in full...)
I am primarily attracted to men who don't seem to find me attractive and it hurts. I'm well educated, articulate and curvy. What do I need to consider or do?
Q. Hi everyone, I'd really value your thoughts and advice on my situation. First I'll give a bit of background to give you a better picture. I'm a 24 year old black girl from London and I am primarily (but not exclusively) attracted to white ...
A. 29 June 2014: It could be since you assume white men won't be interested in you, you send out signals to them of not being interested. Odd as that may sound.
I'm a mix of white, American Indian, and black. Back when I first started wanting to date I thought ... (read in full...)
Why does he want pictures of me if he isn't going to save them?
Q. My friend and i started out as just co-workers and then started talking more and eventually things led to where we started talking about him taking my virginity and he would ask me for private or "personal" pictures and I was hesitant at first ...
A. 29 June 2014: Of course he's going to keep them. Just because he has a girlfriend doesn't mean he can't keep them. He will just hide them. The fact he has a girlfriend yet is asking for explicit pictures and videos of you should tell you something about his ... (read in full...)
What's this woman's problem with me?
Q. Can i ask a question here for other women please, i usually dress with jeans and a low cut top, or if am wearing a skirt i make sure my chest is fully covered, so i don't think i dress trashy at all tbh, i look around at girls my own age and are all ...
A. 28 June 2014: It's obvious what her problem is. She's jealous because she thinks you're attractive dressed this way, and wants you to dress down so in her mind you'll be "less" attractive. She's also worried this man she's following around is (or will become) ... (read in full...)
The people who find me attractive aren't the ones I'm interested in
Q. Hi this one is mainly for the women out there. Do you tend to get alot of unwanted attention but never any wanted attention? Will my luck change? I can't figure it out I'm fairly good looking from what people say. The people who find me ...
A. 28 June 2014: Yes, this is a common problem. Attraction is not mutual more often than it is.
Do you get nervous around guys you like? Do you avoid eye contact because you're worried what they will think? You said you are quiet. You could be sending out signals ... (read in full...)
My sister has this ridiculous inferiority complex around me
Q. My older sister has this ongoing confidence problem since we were kids. She compares herself to me and seems to think she comes off worse. She thinks I am more exciting, popular and talented than she is. I have to constantly reassure her that she ...
A. 22 June 2014: "Sounds to me like your sister is one HOT babe" Really? I didn't realize insecurity was attractive. I think most people would find it a turn off no matter how "hot" a person is. "and you are the consummate loser" A lot of people don't ... (read in full...)
Girls, what qualities do you want boys to have?
Q. Girls, do you like a confident guy, or someone who can't help in front of you???....Or are good looks all that matter?...
A. 22 June 2014: "Women can say what they like. Good looks does it for them. I say this from many years of experience." Male anon- Yes, but different women will have different tastes in what they consider good looking. It's not like you have to be a certain "type"... (read in full...)
How do I accept that my appearance is ordinary?
Q. I've been recently watching porn videos (not masturbating just missing sex) and I'm surprised at how flawless some of the actors are. How can people look like that? This was amateur and she didn't have a blemish on her! How can I accept that I h...
A. 21 June 2014: "You HAVE been abused."
Exactly.
I know what I'm about to say is not going to sound "right", but if seeing him is too much of a reminder of the things he said, then you should no longer hang out at places you know he's going to be. Is there ... (read in full...)
How do I accept that my appearance is ordinary?
Q. I've been recently watching porn videos (not masturbating just missing sex) and I'm surprised at how flawless some of the actors are. How can people look like that? This was amateur and she didn't have a blemish on her! How can I accept that I h...
A. 20 June 2014: "I said to him others might not find me an ordinary person he said "would you rather they tell you a beautiful lie?" Just because he thinks they would be lying doesn't mean they would. Often people make assumptions of what others would think base... (read in full...)
Have I blew it?
Q. Hi ok i need some advice on this i was flirting with a guy for a few weeks and he was doing the same, i always noticed him check me out, stare at me and i started crushing back, but i seen him with another girl and she had a wedding band on. So i ...
A. 20 June 2014: He took your avoiding him as not being interested, so that's why he stopped being as friendly. Surely you didn't expect him to keep smiling, checking you out, and flirting with you when you acted like he wasn't even there? No one wants to make a ... (read in full...)
Why do so many women have issues with men watching porn?
Q. I'm just a bit curious. I dont understand why some women get mad just because they caught their husbands/bfs watching porn? what's the deal? I used to watch porn with my bf, I dont see the big deal... It doesnt bother me... but why does it bother o...
A. 20 June 2014: Here are the top 5 reasons I'm aware of that some women have a problem with porn: 1.) Their partners spend more time watching porn than being intimate with them. 2.) Their partners are COMPLETELY ignoring them to go watch porn. 3.) They a... (read in full...)
We met online chatting but turns out I know her from before. Do I write to her on facebook to tell her?
Q. So lately my dating life has been hit at a bit of bad luck to say the least. So much so that it's kind of became a running joke amongst people I know. Needless to say I've posted on this website a lot and my dating life can be described as the ...
A. 4 June 2014: You already left her a message, so leaving her another one WOULD be coming on to strong. Also, a site that is designed for casual encounters or "hooking up" is NOT the place to look for a meaningful relationship. And it sounds to me like you woul... (read in full...)
I either want her back or to treat her as an acquaintance
Q. This past Thursday I was dumped my girlfriend who also happens to be a co-worker. I had left a rose outside her door the previous day, and I knew by her lukewarm response that she had already made up her mind to end the relationship. I was prepared ...
A. 4 June 2014: Treat her no different than you would any other coworker. That doesn't mean you have to act like she doesn't exist. The way you're currently handling things is fine. In fact, it's great. I wouldn't change a thing. Responding to her "how are you's" s... (read in full...)
I feel suffocated by my girlfriend and have lost all my friends!
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for just over a year. I am a uni graduate, where she is didn't study after school. She is currently in part time employment and I'm studying. Is it normal to give your girlfriend first priority for eve...
A. 25 May 2014: I'm sorry, but she needs to get a grip. She can't expect you to sit home all day, with no job or friends so you can be there every second of every day for her.
She uses crying as a form of manipulation to get what she wants. She knows the inst... (read in full...)
What should you not say to someone new?
Q. I just have a question on hanging out with someone new. What are some things to avoid saying? I mean besides obvious things, such as telling them of a rough past with friends, asking questions that are too personal, inviting them to your home too...
A. 25 May 2014: Thanks. I took the advise given, and things went well. I especially liked the suggestion of listening more than talking. I always worried in the past about not saying enough, that it would make me seem boring to the other person. But people like ... (read in full...)
No strings attached sex with coworker - could this progress into more?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I need to understand how men's mind work... There's this guy at work I go out with sometimes. We both made it clear that we don't want to be in a relationship and that "it's just sex, no strings attached". I know mys...
A. 25 May 2014: No, he won't fall for you. Unfortunately, you lost any chance of a relationship with him when you agreed to no strings attached. Men don't see women they get in FWB situations as "girlfriend material".
I would break this off BEFORE you inevitab... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for shaving my head even though my gf prefers it long?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm a young guy with an extremely noticeable receding hairline. I'm cool with shaving my head, I think it's comfortable and looks alright on me..but my gf hates! She makes me grow my hair out and it looks ridiculous. Am I wrong for ...
A. 24 May 2014: No, you aren't wrong for shaving your head. You should do what makes YOU most comfortable.
It's one thing for her to prefer you with long hair. She can't help what she finds attractive. However, insulting you over it is just plain wrong.
I th... (read in full...)
I'm not interested! How do I let him down?
Q. What should I do about this guy? I'm so upset:( So my older friend says I'm a good decent girl and very pretty so she gave my number to her husbands nephew and he's been calling me since. We've talked and I found out that he's a 31 year ...
A. 22 May 2014: If you're so worried about hurting him, think of it this way: It's better to tell him NOW you're not interested than to meet up with him, give him the chance to develop feelings for you, and THEN tell him. Also, don't feel obligated to be ... (read in full...)
Did I get played? Should I tell my husband?
Q. i am a married 37 year old woman. my story is complicated. first of all i married my high school sweetheart 12 years after we graduated. we had two different life styles. he was a drug user. i only drank. he got off drugs with my help. we married ...
A. 21 May 2014: Don't worry about the church guy anymore. He doesn't want the same thing you do, and you can't change that. Worry about what you CAN change, and what you're going to do next. You said you would have left your husband for this guy, so what is ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 21 May 2014: Regarding your statement about liking one girl for 8 years, and another for 14, has me wondering just how much you're actually making an effort to meet new girls? It can't be all that much if you can get stuck on one girl for THAT long. Are you r... (read in full...)
Nothing turns me on
Q. Why can't I get turned on by anything? I have a bullet vibrator and I don't get any reaction. I watch some porn of different varieties and I don't get turned on. I haven't been turned on masturbating or with any of my boyfriends. The doctors say ...
A. 21 May 2014: First of all, do you experience attraction toward others at all? If not, you might be asexual.
Another possibility is you are putting too much pressure on yourself to feel something. For example, when you use your vibrator, are you relaxed?... (read in full...)
Should I tell my neighbour I had sex with his wife
Q. The other night I was having beers with a few mates, on my back deck .Being a single male there is always people at my house they come and go as they please pretty relax and social atmosphere My neighbour came over with a drink as her husband ...
A. 20 May 2014: In my opinion, you shouldn't say anything to him. Yes, you screwed up big time, but you're not the one who is married to him. There were obviously already issues (whether they were spoken of or not) in their marriage, if she's so willing to hop into ... (read in full...)
I found porn on girlfriends phone about men with big penis. Should I be worried?
Q. So me and my girlfriend been sexually active and I am actually below average size but my girlfriend says she is fine with it and that she is satisfied. Recently I checked her phone just to go on the internet and on her history it said "big black ...
A. 20 May 2014: I don't think what she watched has anything to do with your size. I believe people can like things VISUALLY without wanting them in real life. A lot of women like the look of a big penis. But let's face it, how many women are actually deep enough to ... (read in full...)
Why do guys wait so long before texting girls back?
Q. I've been dating a guy I really like for a couple months. I genuinely feel that he really likes me and cares for me. He treats me right when we are together and I feel very close to him. Always after a date, the next day he will text me a lot. He ...
A. 19 May 2014: No, a guy won't wait DAYS to text a girl back if he really likes her. Of course there are the rare exceptions, such as a family emergency, or having to study for an important exam. However, more often than not, when a guy doesn't text a girl back ... (read in full...)
I want to plan our future but his timeline doesn't match
Q. Myself and my boyfriend spoke a while ago of greeting married next year. He was planning on setting up a business this year with the hope of getting on his feet so it would be more viable for us next year. However he was finding that he had to ...
A. 17 May 2014: I don't necessarily think he was avoiding answering your question about marriage. "You never know" was his way of saying HE doesn't know. With everything else that is going on for him, it's possible he's just not finding the time to think about it ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to cope with these feelings of being too small!
Q. I need to know who feels the same and how to get rid of these feelings. I feel below women who are more attractive than me (pornstars, glamour models) I feel like they have more power over men, it hurts me. I feel small. I want a boob job. I'm ...
A. 17 May 2014: Well, it's incredibly self destructive to compare yourself to those women. Not only that, you're taking it a step further by actually consider mutilating your body with unnecessary surgery over it. There is NOTHING wrong with your boobs. I know it's ... (read in full...)
What is the deal with people who say all women are bisexual or bi curious
Q. What is the deal with people who say all women are bisexual or at least bi curious? Then they say there are studies to back it up. Maybe so, but studies still cannot speak for every woman in the world. Or men for that matter. It's total bul...
A. 17 May 2014: I've heard of this before as well. Studies were done in which women were shown pictures of naked women (not sure if they were engaged in sexual activity or not). I don't know the full details. Anyway, even the ones who identified themselves as being ... (read in full...)
Am I turning into a green-eyed monster?
Q. My partner and I befriended a lady on holiday last year and we became good friends, visiting and phoning frequently. This friend confided in us and was going through a very tough time in her personal life. We both tried to help her as much as w...
A. 16 May 2014: The fact she stopped confiding you, yet kept on with him is a reason to be concerned if I ever heard one. I think it would make ANYONE suspicious. She is using her illness as an EXCUSE to be unkind to you. The fact your partner accepted this as... (read in full...)
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