A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So let me start off by saying that I am a 24-year-old virgin (sad I know). Anyway, there is this girl at my job that I'm really attracted to, sometimes I think I catch her looking at me (I could be wrong, but having been in a similar sitch before and found out I was right I'm going to follow my gut). But I have no idea how to approach her. Any tips for how to approach a female at work if you are a shy, inexperienced guy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2015): as a 27 year old guy who is in your situation, I feel your pain
A
male
reader, AllTimeHoe  +, writes (4 August 2014):
Ask her straight up if she wants to get some coffee or something sometime. It's a sure fire way to let her know of your interest and private enough to be more than just friends. I don't like the attitude that being a virgin is a bad thing. Although I lost my virginity at 17 (I'm British, so that was legal), waiting is a respectable practice. My current girlfriend was a virgin when we got together, and we equally decided to wait until she thought the time was right for her. It's better when you wait.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (4 August 2014):
Just talk to her and get to know her. I don't see what your virginity has to do with anything.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2014): It's not sad at all that you are a virgin, mate. In fact it is respectable and you should be proud of yourself for waiting. I waited and the first girl I slept with is now my wife.
I would suggest trying to find out what the lady likes to do outside of work, if you have any shared interests you could suggest doing them together at the weekend or whenever possible. If she is interested in thing a you haven't tried before, ask her if you can try them with her next time she does, or vice versa, if you have an interest then tell her all about it and ask if she's interested in trying it with you. Other options would include inviting her for dinner or a drink, you sound like a gentleman to me, the lady has already noticed you and now it is time to make your move. I understand that you are shy, bite the bullet mate, it sounds like it will be worth it!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (3 August 2014):
 "I am a 24-year-old virgin (sad I know)."
I HATE this attitude.
Let me put it to you this way, which sounds like the better man to you? The first one works hard, gets a "high" feeling from accomplishment, treats his family and friends well, and is a virgin. The second one is a bit unmotivated, doesn't always treat his family or friends well, and has slept with 50 women. If you picked the second one, THAT is your problem. A man's worth is NOT tied to the number of women he's slept with. If a man's only "accomplishment" in life is sleeping with 50 women, that is MUCH more "sad" than you being a virgin at 24.
Also, what would you have a say about a 24-year-old virgin that's a woman? Is that sad to you? No? Then why is it any different for you?
Having the attitude you are less than other men your age because of your virginity is the reason you're having trouble talking to this woman at your work. You probably aren't shy at all, but you would do well to stop viewing your virginity as a handicap. View this girl as your equal, NOT above you because you think she has more experience. EVERYONE starts out inexperienced, and it's not a bad thing.
Once you change your mindset, I think you'll have no trouble approaching her at all.
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