Should I break up with b/f, father of my child and never see him again?
Q. hi i broke up with my boyfriend for 9 months and now were back togeter for 5 months now!!! we have a 2 and a half yr old son! his father doesnt take care of us both and i dont think i love him or anything like that but theres something keeping me ...
A. 2 June 2010: Does he have any redeeming qualities? Your description sounds like he doesn't do anything to make your life better or easier. If that is the case, then you already know the answer to your question.... (read in full...)
Some of the things I've found out about this guy make me wonder if I should date him?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months and I have learned some things about him during this time that concerns me. Keep in mind that we are both in our early thirties. Here are some things about him: -Never been in a serious relation...
A. 28 May 2010: Thirties or not, red flags are red flags. Something just sounds a little fishy and I think requires a little more investigation. If he was out of work for 4 years, how did he a) pay for a defense attorney? b) afford a house? c) come to have his ... (read in full...)
I'm 34 years old and I've never had a boyfriend
Q. How do I find a boyfriend? I'm 34 years old and I've never had one. I took care of my mother until she died last year and that took up alot of my personal time.With working and going to school part-time i didn't have time left over for fun.I don't ...
A. 28 May 2010: I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. It must have been a difficult time trying to juggle school and work while taking care of your mother. But you managed to set your priorities and realize what was most important. That shows good ... (read in full...)
I feel like I lost my family. Should I tell my parents?
Q. I got totally down, I didnt have anything to eat (1 tuna can for day, no bread) was depressed, lost work, with artistic school couldnt find any employment - all this because of what my mum put me into (I slept with her boyfriend, as a revenge to ...
A. 27 May 2010: The first thing that I learned long ago is that you can't pick your parents. The second is that parents are people too, and they make mistakes like everyone else. I think they know they made mistakes. That's why they are offering you this apartme... (read in full...)
I want to be happy but am anxious all the time because of my past.
Q. My boyfriend and I have had many issues in the past with him being honest and they have added up to me feeling resentful of him, hurt by him and mistrusting. I've always been trying to get the feelings of happiness back from before he started lying ...
A. 27 May 2010: Trust is an interesting thing. It takes a lifetime to build and a second to lose it. Rebuilding your relationship after losing trust in him is something that takes time and a lot of work. Flowers and I love you's are nice, but they are not the ... (read in full...)
I can't trust any of my friends!
Q. Hi, this is a question about relationships between friends, I really can't trust any of my friends, it's not them, well it is sometimes! But it's just me, I just can't tell people my feelings, it's getting bad, everything is so bottled up inside, ...
A. 26 May 2010: A lot of boys are just as shy around girls as you are with boys. You will find the strength to talk to a boy when there is a connection. Don't stress so much about your appearance. We all have different bodies and everyone has someone who finds them ... (read in full...)
He betrayed me then blamed ME for refusing a second connection with him!
Q. i've done everything for him like giving cookies,made pillow for his birthday,listen to his childish talk so that he'll feel better. instead of appreciation,he thinks of me as toy which he can play then abandon when he gets bored of it. later he ...
A. 26 May 2010: You have to come up with topics that interest him otherwise he will ignore you? Ewww! He unfortunately doesn't seem like the type of guy who would care whether he did you wrong or not. He's too self absorbed. Be thankful you are rid of him and ... (read in full...)
Job interview help needed!
Q. I have a job interview tomorrow for the position of a receptionist. I really need a job cos I'm just out of school and this one is perfect for me. I will be devastated if I don't get it. Only thing is, I have no experience in this field of work. Or ...
A. 25 May 2010: Review the job description and state why you feel it would be perfect for you. Think of examples of how you have done this in your day to day life or school. They will probably ask you a bunch of questions regarding how you handle difficult ... (read in full...)
College student in need of a lot of help.
Q. Hello. I am glad that I have found this website again. Two years ago, I had stumbled upon it and asked a question, but I lost the address. I am in serious need of some help. I am 20 years old, just finished my second year of college, and I h...
A. 23 May 2010: During your time off from school, get a part-time job working at a coffee shop or somewhere where girls work and frequent. Talk to each girl that comes in as you would your friend. Eventually, you won't feel uncomfortable around girls. When you ... (read in full...)
I can't help but find reasons to let go!
Q. Hi After I got divorced ( a 13 yr relationship) I met a man(7 yrs older) I really liked right away, first we were friends and then we became FWB( it lasted for 2 years) He was clearly using me since he never spoke of having any feelings for me nor ...
A. 20 May 2010: Those are definitely red flags! I think those guys all have serious issues and you are smart for acknowledging it and running. Unfortunately, there are a lot of guys out there that are just un-datable. The problem is not with you!
I know it's fru... (read in full...)
I can't help but find reasons to let go!
Q. Hi After I got divorced ( a 13 yr relationship) I met a man(7 yrs older) I really liked right away, first we were friends and then we became FWB( it lasted for 2 years) He was clearly using me since he never spoke of having any feelings for me nor ...
A. 19 May 2010: I think you just haven't met the right guy yet. It's common when dating to find red flags that make you want to run. At least you see them. Do you realize how many women can't see the red flags or choose to ignore them and wind up in bad ... (read in full...)
How can I control my anxiety problem?
Q. Im freaking out,I need help.My family is relying on me to start taking up most of the farm dutys and stuff and i know that if i dont really take it on seriously things will get bad,My dad treats me like a failure,I wnated to prove him wrong by ...
A. 19 May 2010: The cost of peace of mind is priceless! If you are still covered under your parents medical insurance, see a psychiatrist. There are many drugs available that can reduce your anxiety. It is not money gone if you can't function. It's to help your ... (read in full...)
She lied about my wherabouts
Q. Okay well I have had abit of a rough time where I found out I was pregnant it was an unwanted pregnancy and i find it a very touchy subject so i decided it would be better to abort rather than have a child that I would struggle to feed and clothe. I ...
A. 17 May 2010: Your friend just picked a bad excuse for you. She didn't break your trust. She didn't tell everyone you were pregnant. She came up with an excuse that may not have made sense to your other classmates. But would you rather they knew the truth? Let ... (read in full...)
Friend of a friend annoying me
Q. i really think i have a problem and i need help. i was bullied a lot as a child, and i also have an older father who was a good provider, caring usually but he also has a short fuse , really bad temper and is strict. i have always felt weird ...
A. 17 May 2010: It's your birthday and you picked the place where you wanted to go. Out of respect for you, whatever you wanted to do, should have been your call. Your friends friend overstepped her boundaries and called a taxi. Unfortunately, you agreed to get ... (read in full...)
My ex bf's friends always stare at me when I'm out at the same clubs..why are they doing this?
Q. Hi, Why does my ex boyfriend's friends stare at me when i see them out? We broke up a month and a half ago (he broke up with me). every time i have been out since and seen his group of friends, they stare at me so blatantly the whole time, and i ...
A. 12 May 2010: I don't think they are mad at you. I think they are watching to see what you are doing to report back to your ex. ... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 12 May 2010: Your ex was highly critical of you and that's not good. Does he look like David Beckham because if he doesn't, I don't think he has the right to evaluate your appearance. CaringGuy is right. No matter what you do, he's going to find something to ... (read in full...)
Is he actually moving toward commitment?
Q. My bf and I have been together for just shy of two years in a long distance relationship. We see each other every weekend, go on frequent trips together, vacation with our children together etc. We live 500 miles away from each other now. Back in ...
A. 11 May 2010: It sounds like he wants the summer to be a test run to see if things would work out between you. So the question is would it be a good idea to start a business immediately or wait to see if it works out before you make that kind of investment. He ... (read in full...)
How do I work through these trust issues I have, in my relationship?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 10 months. She is 29, has a 2 yr old, I am 26, we now live together. She has somewhat of a past, I have had people tell me about things I really wouldn't want to hear. I have put that aside but lately I have been ...
A. 11 May 2010: It's Memorial Day weekend and the two of you can do whatever you want to do, and she has decided that the best thing to do is go to her ex's party? Tell her that the thought of going to this party is the equivalent to getting a root canal for you. I ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with matchmaking friends who want to get me with my uncaring friend?
Q. A few days ago I texted my friend and told him something personal that happened to me. Thinking I would get support from him. Nothing, it seems like he never cares about me, or treats me like a friend so I texted him that I would never speak to him ...
A. 11 May 2010: Tell G and her grandmother that you took their advise but based on his behavior they have really bad taste in men.... (read in full...)
Disgusted and hurt but ultimately confused
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 months and while we've had our ups and downs, he never gave me a reason to not trust him.. However, I found something suspicious on his facebook chat and my paranoia got the better half of me and I ende...
A. 9 May 2010: Lots of ups and downs in 3 months? He may not have cheated on you. But he may have some sexual desires that are outside of the traditional male/female relationship. You need to ask him about it and make your decision. He's going to question why you ... (read in full...)
I have a good job while he is very depressed about his, and very moody, what can I do for him?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now (living together for 1) and I’m 22 and he’s 27. When we first got together I was studying at university and he was earning a lot so used to spoil me rotten and pay for everything. However when I ...
A. 8 May 2010: You just have to tell him that he's smart and you have confidence that when the economy picks up, he'll get a good job again. If possible, he should take this opportunity to go to school so that he can become qualified for a better job when ... (read in full...)
Clingy or having healthy emotional needs?
Q. How do you determine if a girlfriend is being "clingly" or is just having healthy emotional needs? Where do you draw the line?...
A. 8 May 2010: It all depends on your tolerance. Some people are more clingy than others. Some people like to be needed more than others. It all depends on the dynamic of the relationship itself. All you can do is try to adjust to one another and explain where ... (read in full...)
How do I tactfully ask my partner to stop continually farting and belching in my company?
Q. How do I tactfully ask my partner to stop continually farting and belching in my company? He doesn't even seem to know he is doing this. I have talked to him about it and he thinks I am being unreasonable....
A. 8 May 2010: Does he have a medical issue? Acid Reflux? Then have him see a doctor. How about taking Beeno? ... (read in full...)
Am I being a gullible fool?
Q. hey all i really need advice. this is quite long so forgive me and hopefully you may help me. last year i split with my long term boyfriend-we were dating for 7 years and during that time he was emotionally and on 2 occasions physically abusive....
A. 8 May 2010: You are just getting out of a long relationship in which the man you were with not only emotionally and physically abused you, he used you like a personal savings account for a year after you broke up.
A relationship should be give and take, bu... (read in full...)
Do I wait for her to come and find me, or do I go and find her?
Q. Dear Madam, I am a 29 year old male. About 3 weeks back, I met a girl in the university I attend. she's passed 18. Well, we believe the same doctrines as christians and when I approached her, she was very responsive. She seemed to enjoy my company ...
A. 8 May 2010: She agreed to meet you next Monday to discuss the story of Rachel and Jacob that you gave her. You do not need to go looking for her at her department or church. That may be too much right now and can scare her away. You don't want to appear like ... (read in full...)
I need help with losing weight!
Q. I am 14 years old and am kinda overweight. I really want to lose weight and gain some muscle what is the best way to go about doing this without starving myself?...
A. 7 May 2010: There are plenty of meals that are healthy and filling without giving up taste. The thing is that whoever buys the groceries and/or cooks, is going to have to prepare meals that are healthier. Pick up a copy of "Shape" magazine. It has some great ... (read in full...)
It's been almost a year since he told me to wait for him to get back on his feet!
Q. i been with my boyfriend for 10 years he's 30 im 34. I have 3 children which he help raised. He doesn't have children of his own. He always work and help me with the bills. in 2006 he started dealing drugs went to jail for 4years I stood by his side ...
A. 5 May 2010: Not sure if your town has it, but in New York City, we have a program called the Doe Fund which is specifically for felons on parole who are trying to get back on their feet. I'm sure there are other programs like this out there that he needs to ... (read in full...)
Never had a boyfriend and suddenly I have 2 men interested!
Q. I feel completly lost and confused. I've never had a boyfriend and suddenly two guys are really interested in me. They're both really nice, beautiful and smart. I can't decide, it's impossible and I don't wanna lose them. I can't stop thinking about ...
A. 5 May 2010: Date both casually until you get to know both of them, then make a decision. You do not need to be exclusive until you know who is the better match for you. Till then, have fun. ... (read in full...)
One night stand after only 6 months of marriage
Q. Please help me. I only got married 6 months ago and we have been going out for 9 years and have never once cheated on him. I done something really stupid last night and already I am torturing myself with guilt and fear of him finding out. I was ...
A. 5 May 2010: Based on your desire to remain married, I think you have to come to terms with the fact that you can never hang out with this guy again. You have to tell this guy good bye and work on your marriage. This guy is too late and he needs to respect the ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'll never be happy with anyone!
Q. dear DearCupid, I am 21 years old and have never been in a healthy relationship. my last relationship was with my ex boyfriend who only used me and lied to me about his wife who had left him and who he still lived. he also got someone else pre...
A. 5 May 2010: Your past relationships do not predict your future relationships. I wouldn't allow this guy to make you feel insecure about yourself. You have done nothing wrong. I know you say you still have feelings for this man, but are they for the man that ... (read in full...)
How do I attract guys without completely changing who I am?
Q. Most of my best friends are very attractive and are constantly asked out. I on the other hand have never been on a date. Truthfully I am no a very small girl but I'm not completely overweight either. I am also know as the hippie girl which some ...
A. 5 May 2010: Good looks help, but they aren't everything. No one can be everybody's type anyway. A good personality however is what truly attracts guys. If you are a good person who is fun to be around, people will want to be around you. Just be fun and be ... (read in full...)
I lost myself in the relationship at first, but am over that now. What can I do, or not do, to allow things to progress?
Q. ok, here's the deal... We started dating 6 months ago (long distance)... Things were on fire , running at 100 mph, we had discussed him moving to my state, he has 2 kids in his state and my son is off to college this fall so we made plans...
A. 24 April 2010: I think he sold you on a fantasy with all the things he told you. But when you two were acting on making the fantasy a reality, he got scared and backed off.
All you can do at this point is get back to life before you met him. Don't sit by the p... (read in full...)
Have I turned off my boyfreind completly? Why has he shut himself out?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year. We had our honeymoon stage and roughly around 5 months things started to get a bit confusing, for one reason or another I started asking him all sorts of questions that I was not even ...
A. 24 April 2010: If you want his approval, approve of yourself first.
Since you are on Workers Comp right now, you depend on him a lot. It's putting a lot of added pressure on him. You may not see this, but his desire for you to get your own license shows th... (read in full...)
He already "needs space"?
Q. What does it mean if a man that you only been married to for a month and a half tell you that he needs space, and has told you that on more than one occasion? ...
A. 24 April 2010: Marriage is an adjustment that takes some getting used to. So don't think by him telling you he needs space that this is a personal attack against you or that your marriage is in jeopardy. It's not. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He does. He ... (read in full...)
So lost... what does this whole thing mean?
Q. So my boyfriend and i have been dating for six months, i have som insecurities cause my ex boyfriend use to beat me up, fractured my jaw twice and ribs once. The guy i'm with now is really sweet but one problem is that his only friends are his ex ...
A. 23 April 2010: Have you ever heard the expression, actions speak louder than words? Instead of giving you compliments when you two break up, he should respect you every single day that you are together. Starting with admitting that he's got a girlfriend. That is ... (read in full...)
Should I leave the door open and keep talking and keep in touch while I continue to date and hang out with my friends?
Q. First off--i have been dating and trying to meet someone and also keeping busy but it still doesn't change my feelings for my ex. my ex and i were together for over 3 years and broke up over a year ago but noone did anything so wrong..no cheati...
A. 23 April 2010: He sounds like he has a lot of personal financial issues going on right now. If he is a good decent guy who is responsible, which it sounds like he is, he just can't build a relationship with someone right now. Financial instability is bringing him ... (read in full...)
B/f says don't mind her shes crazy...but I DO mind!
Q. hi! I just meet a new boyfriend now is about two month, I love him soo much, but I dont trust him, my boyfriend is also my boss and their like 7 girls working with him before I started working with them. but one girl since I work there I always ...
A. 22 April 2010: Do you think this girls behavior is appropriate for a business setting? The fact that she's sitting on his lap and he's not putting an end to it is showing that he doesn't mind it. Saying she's crazy is an excuse, not a solution. Are you sure they ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I want my wife back but I want revenge!
Q. I have posted here before and have liked the advise, I'm giving it another try since I'm still having issues with my wife. I am the original poster of "should I confront my wife or let destiny run its course" To minimize I caught my wife c...
A. 22 April 2010: First and foremost, think of what is best for your children and the upcoming legal case. You really need to focus on how to explain to your children what is going on and keep the arguments between you and your wife to a minimum.
Second, you are ... (read in full...)
I really like him but... he's got a girlfriend.
Q. So I've been really having a serious crush on this guy.. I have been told that yeah he is flirting with me and seems to be interested in me. There's only one problem he has a girlfriend. I don't know how long they been together or anything. These ...
A. 22 April 2010: Keep away. Far, far away. This smells like trouble and not the good type. In the end, you are going to end up hurt and it could affect your job too. It's not worth it.... (read in full...)
I'm a day late!! Could I be pregnant?
Q. I just lost my virginity on sunday, it is now Wednesday of the same week, i am on the pill and have been on it for quite a while(for my skin and cramps) im supposed to get my period today! however i dont have it! we didnt use a condom because i...
A. 22 April 2010: If you never missed a pill, you're probably fine.
But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE no matter what, ALWAYS get in the habit of using condoms. ... (read in full...)
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