A
female
age
41-50,
*asha013
writes:How do I find a boyfriend? I'm 34 years old and I've never had one. I took care of my mother until she died last year and that took up alot of my personal time.With working and going to school part-time i didn't have time left over for fun.I don't know how to meet new people. I tried my church, but most of the men are gay. I have a stutter and people have made fun of me. So I'm nerious and shy. I've been told that I'm pretty, but I don't believe them. I want to find a nice normal guy. The men that wanted to date me were mean to me, only wanted money or sex. Some just never called back. I loved one guy, but he didn't feel the same about me and never spoke to me again. Men where I lived don't pay me any attention, because I don't do drugs or is willing to sleep around with everyone. I always wear nice clothles, keep my my hair and nails done and smell good. The only man likes right now is very mentally abusive towards me and hateful. I have a enough common sense not to go near him. I just hope he's not my only choice. I just want to be loved and be a good girlfriend to a nice normal guy. Can someone help me?
View related questions:
drugs, money, never had a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tasha013 +, writes (30 May 2010):
tasha013 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank Xtina356,YouWish,Universe Man,and SkareCroe for answering my question and giving helpful advice. I feel alot better. Hopefully I'll have a update soon.
A
female
reader, SkareCroe +, writes (28 May 2010):
 Ive actaully had a lot of luck on areyouinterested and okcupid.com
Just go where you feel if right and dont rush into things. I myself have not had a lot of bf's and am shy thats why i found okcupid. I met like 6 people off there and a few are my friends still and they are good people.
It is free and they even do icebreakers with random people near you that share common interests. Let me know how it goes if you get onto okcupid :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (28 May 2010):
Imagine your dream guy. Now imagine your dream guy's dream girl. That is, by definition, the person you will be if you reach your full potential. So work on yourself. Work on your stutter, your confidence, your conversation skills, whatever. Be around people as much as possible. Your friends, their friends, etc.
Online dating is worth a try. OKcupid.com is a good free site. But don't let online dating keep you from going out in the real world and making conversation with people. It can open doors, but it won't help your nervousness and shyness.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 May 2010):
 Sounds like you need new surroundings. Online is a good place to meet guys. If you're interested in e-harmony or chemistry.com, that's a nice place to find guys who may be as shy as you are.
You also might benefit from talking to a counselor about your stutter and your view towards other people, or you might sabatage any new relationship you may start by assuming he's laughing at you or only wants sex.
...............................
A
female
reader, Xtina356 +, writes (28 May 2010):
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. It must have been a difficult time trying to juggle school and work while taking care of your mother. But you managed to set your priorities and realize what was most important. That shows good character.
Good for you that you see that these guys are jerks. No one should disrespect you and be mean to you. If all you meet are guys that are into drugs, then you are going to the wrong place. Unfortunately, guys who are just after sex are everywhere and there are many women that are willing to enter into that kind of relationship. In order to stand out, there is nothing that men find more appealing than a woman who is confident. So even though you may look in the mirror and not see something beautiful staring back at you, accept that you are beautiful because you have so many beautiful things about you. You describe yourself as well put together so I am sure you are better than what you think you are.
I think that you are smarter, stronger, and better than you give yourself credit for. Just give yourself credit. You earned it. You can be confident. You have learned that men can be hurtful and mean so instead of meeting them and being nervous whether or not they will like you, be strong and confident and determine if they will be good enough for you. You have accomplished so much. When you are out, remember all you have to offer someone. This should help you overcome your shyness.
You can meet people through school or at work. Even if there is no one in your class or work that you are interested in, a person you are friendly with may know someone who is also single that you can meet. Never turn down an opportunity to meet new people. Even the gay men at your church may have a straight single brother. So continue to go and mingle. The more you mingle, the more confident you will feel around strangers. Eventually, with practice, you will overcome your shyness.
...............................
|
