A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i really think i have a problem and i need help. i was bullied a lot as a child, and i also have an older father who was a good provider, caring usually but he also has a short fuse , really bad temper and is strict. i have always felt weird compared to other young people. i like a band who started out in the 80's who most people my age haven't even heard of, and aren't fans of them. I don't go out drinking much , and i used to hate it when i went out drinking with one certain friend, who is a year older than me, as she used to kiss any guy who came over to her and i would be stood there on my own like an idiot. last night, i had a night out with a couple more friends for my birthday. i think becasue itw as my birthday that i should have decided where we went. i went out with a friend i have spoken to online a lot , and met up with a few times. however, i didnt know the friend that she brought with her at all. her friend was moody and she said she wasnt enjoying it because there was hardly anyone out. i dont mind how many people are there when i go out. i'm just glad to be getting out of the house and enjoy just sitting listening to the music.she rang a taxi to take us to another town, without even asking if i wanted to go there. we had only just got into the third bar that we went to, and she told the taxi to arrive in 10 minutes.we had only been in a couple of pubs and the bar by then, but she wanted to go to a nightclub, which i dont always like going to. i cried my eyes out for ages when i got home. maybe i was more emotional because i was drunk too. i'm supposed to be going to a concert with my friend later this year, but i text her to say i didnt think i should go because i was upset that her friend didnt enjoy it last night, and thought she might not have done. i had also received a birthday card yesterday from my dad, who i had fallen out with recently, with a special message in it, which upset me even more. my friend asked what was wrong, and i told her that i thought it was rude when her friend rang for the taxi and i was upset that she didnt enjoy it, even though it wasnt my fault that there was hardly anyone there. i apologised for what i said about the concert , and said i would still like to go, but i havent heard from her yet.i also said that more people might have come out during the last hour,a s it was early when we left the bar anyway, and i said i was susprised that there was hardly anyone there considering it was saturday night. i'm really worried that my friend might not reply, and i dont know why i react this way. if i had been out for someone's birthday though, i wouldnt think i had any right to dictate to that person about where they went on their birthday, and we could have always gone to the other town another time. if i had a friend who did that, i would have said something to them. i didnt want to go to two towns in the same night as we werent out very long anyway. we had to leave early so they could get the train home.i just hope it gets sorted out. i seemed to have more in common with my friend though, as her friend seemed more like the brash type, where me and my friend are quieter and are big fans of the same band. i spoke to my family about it and they thought that maybe her friend felt like the odd one out too ?. also, she was even moody when we went to the nightclub.
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female
reader, Xtina356  +, writes (17 May 2010):
It's your birthday and you picked the place where you wanted to go. Out of respect for you, whatever you wanted to do, should have been your call. Your friends friend overstepped her boundaries and called a taxi. Unfortunately, you agreed to get into the taxi in spite of the fact that you didn't want to leave. Did anyone know that you didn't want to go other than you? Next time, don't be afraid to speak up and say, hold on, I'm not ready to leave. Tell them they can pick what they want to do on a night when you aren't celebrating your birthday.
But as for your friend, don't beat yourself up over this. You told her you didn't like her friend taking control of the evening. You were upset. If she is your friend, she will understand. Give her a call and say you are sorry for taking it out on her, but you didn't want to go to a club, you wanted to to listen to music and relax at the pub you were at. If you want to go to the concert, go to the concert. Just talk it out and everything will be fine.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010): the title of this thread wasnt really what i was asking, it was more to do with how i cant understand my reactions
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