A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you determine if a girlfriend is being "clingly" or is just having healthy emotional needs?Where do you draw the line? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Here's some food for thought. It could be the type guy you are choosing and not you at all. You could be going for the "strong-silent" type because they are a challenge. You may think to yourself "I'm gonna see if I can get this guy to open up." Those type almost never do and you are left wondering what went wrong when it wasn't you in the first place.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 May 2010):
 For what my answer is concerned,you just have to apply the questions to yourself :
Do you have other hobbies,passions,interests beside spending time with yr bf?,etc.etc.etc.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. I think I worded the question the wrong way. I am straight. I concerned about myself being clingy.
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A
female
reader, arlamai  +, writes (14 May 2010):
It is difficult to draw the line as this can only be drawn by you. We are all shaped by previous relationships and sometimes people start a fresh relationship with the same patterns of their last. This could mean that your girlfriends previous relationship required several phone calls a day, seeing eachother every night and seeing eachother's friends. This, for other people, would be too much and so they seem 'clingy.' If you feel your partner is too clingy, mentioning that you don't need those 20 texts a day to know that they love you in a caring way might help. Don't get angry, distant or worse, dump them for it without mentioning it to them, as this will only make her feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with her.However, if she infringes on your life to such a degree that you can't go out for a beer with your best mate without 8 phone calls and a search party, then maybe that is too much!best of luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. It's actually me who is feeling clingy with bfs. I do not call/text/ email them 10 times a day, but I do find myself thinking about them more than they think about me and that is scaring me because I always end up being more into them than they are into me. That is why I was wondering if it was unhealthy and if I should try to change...
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (8 May 2010):
 Women are often classed as clingy or needy/ desperate because at some stage in their life they have been normally lied to/ cheated on. This makes them feel insecure and they become clingy for fear of it happening again. I am classed as a needy/ clingy wife/ I don't want to know where my husband is all the time I just need a lot of attention and constant reassurance. This drives him insane. I have absolutely no trust because of experiences with my previous husband.
The question is do you feel she is clingy? If you love her try to find out why she is this way . Does it bother you or just annoy you slightly? Obvioulsy if she is constantly ringing you/ texting/ checking up on you then this is not on but if she is just in love and keen to spend as much time with you as possible then maybe you could cut her some slack. The longer the relationship goes on for the less clingy people become as they relax a bit and feel more secure/ less threatened by others,
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (8 May 2010):
Does she have other interests ,hobbies and passions beside hanging out with you ?
Does she have other goals in her life ( work,study,sport,whatever ) other than keeping your relationship going ?
If you should cancel plans with her ( with a good reason of course ) would she use the free time for doing something rather than be moping around the house ?
Could you take occasionally take your time in returning her call or text, without her getting immediately anxious and upset ?
If the answe is NO,then there may be a problem.
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (8 May 2010):
 Being clingy means calling him every hour asking "whatcha doin'?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 May 2010):
 Being clingy means having excessive needs and wanting his incessant attentions over each and every single details in your life .
You are always checking him out . What he is doing or where he is at that moment?
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (8 May 2010):
Define "clingy." What is she doing or saying?
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A
female
reader, Xtina356 +, writes (8 May 2010):
It all depends on your tolerance. Some people are more clingy than others. Some people like to be needed more than others. It all depends on the dynamic of the relationship itself. All you can do is try to adjust to one another and explain where your limits are.
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