A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and i have been dating for six months, i have som insecurities cause my ex boyfriend use to beat me up, fractured my jaw twice and ribs once. The guy i'm with now is really sweet but one problem is that his only friends are his ex girlfriends and he doesn't want to tell them that he is in a relationship now. Don't understand that, well we have had some major issues since we hit are 2 month part, one being his most recent ex didn't know he was dating me tell i answered his phone and she asked who i was. then hung up and started texting him saying he was a jerk and blah blah, well he claimed that they were just friends now, then i found out that when we went on our first date he had went to her house and well had sex with her and she cooked him dinner then he took me out about an hour later after leaving her house.Anyways the next day we were dating, but she would constantly text his phone saying that he should not be with me and talking bad stuff about me. Well i later found out that he had told her i didn't want him to go over to her house without me there, and well she still would text him and tell him to tell me he was going to go shopping for a present for me and go to her house. Well after 3 months of dealing with her trying to break us up he finally agreed to tell her he didn't want anything to do with her. Now one of his other ex's is trying to be my friend and is telling me how her relationship was with my boyfriend, and when i confront him about them he says it's a lie, well no she is telling me to dump him and stuff, and turning around texting him and telling him that i said he is bad in bed and a whole bunch of lies, well i asked him if he could not talk to her anymore cause i never said bad things about it at all, so he refuses to stop talking to her, and no i'm having a problem with one of his friends at his college, he says they are just friends and she had a boyfriend that lived really far away and i was fine with it until last night when i found out the day after her and her boyfriend broke up she was commenting on my boyfriends pictures online saying that he is hot and stuff like that, and well he said he doesn't talk to girls unless he finds them attractive. Also he checks out girls repeatedly when we are together in public and his excuse for it is that there is nothing else better to look at. But when i try to break up with him he will cry and i'm lost on what to do, cause he acts like he cares but doesn't show it, only gives me compliments for two days after i break up with him and i tell him how he never gives me compliments, and well he also told me that he that having sex with me is a chore cause i would like to have it every day or every other day. well ps. he is 29 and i'm 21
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female
reader, Xtina356 +, writes (23 April 2010):
Have you ever heard the expression, actions speak louder than words? Instead of giving you compliments when you two break up, he should respect you every single day that you are together. Starting with admitting that he's got a girlfriend. That is what you should look at to determine if you should stay or go.
First of all, these girls are not your boyfriends friends. These are girls that your boyfriend hasn't cut the cord with. Unfortunately, a lot of guys don't equate dating to being exclusive. So now after 6 months, you need to make sure he understands that you will only continue this relationship if he is exclusive with you. He needs to cut the cords with his ex's and get some guy friends.
In the meantime, keep your eyes open. What are you getting out of this relationship? If he treats you with the respect that you know you want and deserve, then stay. If he continues to put you in really awkward positions due to his friendships with other girls, then I would walk. Two days of compliments and apologies isn't enough. Every single day you should be treated with respect.
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