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| | *oHereKnowsWhen's profile:So here I am.
I have always been an 'Agony Aunt'. I don't even know why, so I suppose I am really an 'Accidental Agony Aunt'. I do like trying to give people sensible advice and hopefully make some difference to them. Sometimes I actually get this right.
I came across this website by accident and thought 'how wonderful'. I really wanted to be part of this.
I actually believe that I can take responsibility for how I see and feel about the various events in my life. It can get pretty difficult but I have learned that I can change things that make me feel not so good into something that doesn't make me feel quite so bad. This doesn't always work, but I try.
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Why does my ex have one rule for me and another for him?
Q. Why does my ex have one rule for me and another for him? My.ex snd I parted in Jan this yr. He was verbally, emotional and occasionally physically abusive to me. I wasn't battered but.he certainly had no respect.for me. I ended it and he left. ...
A. 28 April 2012: You couldn't trust him to behave like a decent human being in the relationship, why would you expect him to change when it is over?
I just hope that he is capable of treating your children decently.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for the person you are dating to tell you that they will always love their ex?
Q. Is it normal for a guy you're seeing to tell you they'll always love their ex? This ex was actually his first real love, and I'm the first person he's dating after he's been with her. I'm wondering if it's normal because the last guy I da...
A. 28 April 2012: No this is not normal. These are people that haven't given themselves time to get over their previous relationships before entering one with you.
If these guys want to keep loving all of their exs, then let them do it alone. If they can't or don't... (read in full...)
Getting married but all I can do is think of my ex
Q. Hi, thanks for reading this. I am a mother of 1 in my 30's Getting married next year but all I can think about is my ex!! We were together 10 years ago for 8 years and haven't seen each other much since! Our parents are friends and we have a fe...
A. 28 April 2012: No, it's not fair on your fiancé. However, if you don't front up and confess your feelings towards your ex, this won't be fair on you and in the long run this could poison the relationship you currently have with your fiancé.
If you feel so stron... (read in full...)
Is this normal for a menstrual cycle?
Q. Hi this is a question for the women I am 25 I started my periods when I was 13 they have always been irregular but I was just wondering if this was normal the past two months I have had my period that lasted three or four days and then four days ...
A. 28 April 2012: If it is just a bit spotty, that's not so bad. But you should really visit your doctor and get this checked out for your own peace of mind.
... (read in full...)
This guy only texts me when he wants to talk dirty!
Q. I really like this guy and it seems like he only texts me when he wants to talk dirty. He knows that I'm not ready for sex or anything but I don't know if I should still persue him becuse he doesn't text back or talk to me that often....
A. 28 April 2012: He's treating you like trash and doesn't deserve your affection. Tell him to just disappear.... (read in full...)
Why has he not offered to take me out? He's my ex. He'll spend time with me but that's it.
Q. I am starting to develop feelings for my ex-boyfriend AND I don't really know If he's attracted or if he still has feeling for me. We dated years back AND I hadn't seen him in quite some time, like 11 years ago. He is not married, but he is dati...
A. 28 April 2012: From what you have said, it's difficult to tell if he's truly interested in you or not. Particularly because, as you have suspected, any feeling towards you may be distorted by you living in the `fun zone'.
It seems like you are just a friend a... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for him, but I'm a bit apprehensive of getting hurt again.
Q. Hi, and thank you in advance. I've known this male for several yrs through a friend. He's 15 years older than I and we would talk here and there. We ended up becoming friends on facebook and began dating. We seemed to really connect. He woul...
A. 28 April 2012: You sound like both of you were definitely in different places at the same time. That's just life.
What have you got to lose? Go for it.
All the best.
... (read in full...)
When and how do I fight to get him back?
Q. My boyfriend ended our relationship 2 days ago. He said it was because there can't be any future for us (he is from another country). He said he doesn't want to waste my time because I deserve someone who will take care of me. I am not looking for a ...
A. 28 April 2012: Pardon the expression, but you may be `flogging a dead horse' with this guy.
If you really feel that you need to fight to get him back, then the time is NOW.
... (read in full...)
I want to do things differently and ask her out with a letter. Any ideas on what to say please?
Q. Can someone please give me a sample of a letter to send the girl I wish to ask to be my girlfriend? I do believe she is ready for the next step, as I know I am. She's 17, I'm 19. We've been talking for almost a year, and we both know we like each ...
A. 28 April 2012: You are in a wonderful moment. I am sorry to work contrary to your request but for something like this I think it should be done from your heart. If it is not in your heart to write that letter with your own words, then don't do it.
I am sure she... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a great guy, and is definitely someone I can see myself settling down with BUT I really like my guy friend and want to pursue things with him. What should I do?
Q. I've dated a lot of guys over the past year, but finally picked someone I could see myself having a future with. He's a great guy! We've been dating for about three months, he's really intelligent (working on his PHD), attractive, athletic, and has ...
A. 28 April 2012: Wow, some fantastic choices. However I offer you another option...
Option 4: Set both of of these guys free of this opportunistic female immediately.
Seriously, you sound like you are dating by profession. Why not stay with your boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
I'm filthy rich and very independant and it seems that most guys are intimidated by the fact that they have nothing to offer me
Q. I'm in my early thirties, I've never been in a serious relationship and once I get to know someone it never develops into anything and it's generally over within a month. I'm pretty but I don't dress to show my assets, don't sleep with guys for the ...
A. 28 April 2012: You mentioned that it's a `fact that they have nothing to offer' you. I think that is saying more about you than you realise. Since this is a fact, then you really need to keep looking to find someone that actually does have something to offer. Are ... (read in full...)
My wife passed away and I'm left with a difficult daughter who I have no clue how to deal with
Q. My wife of seven years recently just passed (car crash). we actually met for the first time when i was in the 2nd grade she was the child of a close family friend but being thats shes five years older then me we rarely conversated in those days. ...
A. 28 April 2012: I'm terribly sorry for the sudden and tragic loss of your lovely wife.
I know from experience that teens and pre-teens can be a difficult and unwieldy species to manage. I have heard it said that at her age she is looking for the freedom of an ad... (read in full...)
Boyfriend liking/saving sexy pictures of exes and attractive female friends, how to overcome my jealousy
Q. I know my plight is not as dire as some and I should consider myself lucky its not worse. I just want to know how to get over my anger and jealousy so we dont have to fight about it anymore! My boyfriend of nearly 6 years (hes in his early thirti...
A. 28 April 2012: Why should you have to change your way of looking at this situation? If you feel jealous about your boyfriend's unusual collection, then you feel jealous. That's it. I couldn't blame you for that at all. I have a feeling that your boyfriend has is... (read in full...)
Girls would you be OK with this? Guys how do you feel about men having strippers at a bachelor's party?
Q. I am just asking this question out of curiousity. It is for both men and women. How do you feel about men having strippers at a bachelor's party? Maybe it is because I have low self-esteem but if my fiance was enjoying that kind of show, I woul...
A. 28 April 2012: I don't particularly like the idea, but just the same I don't think I'd really worry about the stripper. As strange as it sounds, some men I know say the stripper at a bachelor party is more of a tradition than an opportunity. She may have been ... (read in full...)
I was afraid my boyfriend was going to hit me last night. What do I do?
Q. Im still in my 8 year relationship and have hit a wall. i went to bed the other night quite late and because the cat normally sleeps at the foot of my side of the bed. i paid the cat some attention and laid down. normally when i do this he comes up ...
A. 28 April 2012: His idea that you have overreacted to this situation is absurd. You didn't overreact, he did. I think being handled like you were is a deal-breaker.
I am also curious about what was the real trigger of his outburst. If something else upset hi... (read in full...)
When I think about my crush my breathing gets weird, is this normal?
Q. Is it normal that when I think about my crush I begin to breathe like weird x3 Like you know how you feel when you have to catch your breath? Yeah I do that and I sound really weird :P...
A. 17 April 2012: That's really lovely to hear. Don't worry about it, you are very normal and very lucky. My heart melts just thinking about feelings like that. Enjoy it.... (read in full...)
Am I being reasonable about this or just making a fuss about nothing?
Q. Hey there, this is my first time using the site. It seems there are some genuinely kind and helpful people on here so maybe you can help me out. I have something that it playing on my mind. I am in a relationship of 3 years. Recently I haven...
A. 17 April 2012: I don't blame you for feeling irritated. I think it's very rude of her to cancel her plans to see you to do something else, whether or not this other friend is involved.
She made a commitment to you and she should have kept it.
... (read in full...)
I hope I made the right decision by breaking up with my boyfriend for being controlling and abusive
Q. Hello everyone! Thank you so much for taking the time out for reading this and helping me through this difficult time in my life, I am 22 and am feeling pretty hopeless at the moment. i just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months because of...
A. 17 April 2012: Don't worry, feeling down after a broken relationship is normal, no matter what kind of relationship you have come out of. Give yourself plenty of time to clear your heart and head.
I am worried that you are considering giving him a second c... (read in full...)
Completely infatuated with a girl at work but I'm her superior at work, I'm married and she has a boyfriend!
Q. Need help interpreting things. Completely infatuated with a girl at work. I think mainly because I feel that I would occasionally get some vibes... Don't want to misinterpret anything. She's really cute, slightly shy. Plays with her...
A. 17 April 2012: Make no mistake. You're in a no-go-zone. Why? Because you are married and she has a boyfriend.
Don't cheat on your wife just for a cute, shy girl who plays with her hair and maintains a long eye contact with you. That just doesn't sound like a g... (read in full...)
My husband is getting more and more controlling of my appearance
Q. First, it was the clothing: dresses, skirts, tights, blouses. I'm not allowed jeans, trainers, flipflops, T-shirts, track suits. I'm barely allowed tasteful trousers. Then, it was telling me how much jewellery I can wear. Then, it was th...
A. 17 April 2012: What an appalling and sad little man. You're currently having your personal space violated by your husband. Tell him he can take the lot and go jam it. I don't blame you for feeling tired and worn out. You have been taken advantage of while you are ... (read in full...)
I usually have high standards, so why am I into this average looking girl?
Q. Usually I have very high standards (it takes a fair amount of beauty to get a 8-10 mental rating from me), but I have recently met this girl who I would have never looked twice at in the street and I don't know why I am so taken with her...?...
A. 15 April 2012: Haven't you heard?
Love is blind.
... (read in full...)
Why does my dad keep criticizing the new house that I've bought with my partner? He's so negative about it that it makes me sick!
Q. My partner and I recently bought our 1st house - let me make it clear we used our own savings for the deposit and have had no help from anyone with the mortgages payments or refurbishments. My father has been absolutely negative abou...
A. 15 April 2012: Congratulations on your new home. I think your father is just jealous. I get the impression that perhaps he didn't have much say when you were house-hunting. You did right by yourselves and bought a nice house and he has his nose out of joint. Th... (read in full...)
I cry way too much!
Q. I know this website's for relationships, it seems to be a great help for almost any problem. So here's mine. Although I don't know what kind of answer I'm expecting, it's more to get it off my chest. I have a problem. That problem is, I cry way too ...
A. 15 April 2012: While there's nothing wrong with having a good cry, you seem to use it like a smoke screen to take attention away from minor failures in your life (as you mentioned in your first paragraph) when you really need to be angry. You seem to be caught in ... (read in full...)
How important are looks when already in a relationship?
Q. How important are looks when already in a relationship. I know there has to be an initial attraction but after that? My problem is that by using make-up, the right clothes (like a padded bra), heels - I can look far more attractive than ...
A. 13 April 2012: Don't be ridiculous. Did you even think that if you were in a relationship it's because the guy actually likes you. If for some reason he doesn't, you're better off without him. We've all been through that experience.
I can't imaging how you can ... (read in full...)
I need to know if my girlfriend honestly does not remember performing oral sex on this guy in high school!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles im actually a veteran on this site been on it for 5 years giving advice and now im going to need some. Ok so ive been with my girlfriend for a year now but in the begining she wanted to know my sexuall past so i told her and in ...
A. 13 April 2012: I always feel a little nervous when I hear of people trading sexual pasts at the beginning of a relationship. You may hear something that you didn't want to know... you sure did. I understand that you are worried about why she seems to be cove... (read in full...)
Why do people think the opposite sex cant be just friends
Q. Hi just a quick question why do people always assume that a woman and a man can't be friends without there being more to it this man and me met through my step sister and we get on well (as friends) but people always say they don't believe we are ...
A. 13 April 2012: There is no reason I can think of that a man and woman can't be just friends. Really! There are no rules. But as you have seen, there are assumptions. People may assume you are dating because that is what they may be inclined to wish for or do i... (read in full...)
I feel like a freak because I don't want children!
Q. Is it weird that I don't want children? Sometimes I feel like a freak. All the women in my family are VERY fertile, they all have kids and most started at young ages. Even all the men in my family have or want children. So when I tell my mother and ...
A. 13 April 2012: Whether or not this has an effect on your relationship with your boyfriend, you are not horrible, or a freak or weird.
Just remember, that you can always change your mind in years to come. But then again, why should you?
I have a couple of frie... (read in full...)
20 something guy is interested and calling my wife. How should I handle this?
Q. I think I need to run some marriage interference? Protection? Not sure how to put it. My wife and I are both in our late 30's. Married almost 20 years, we got married shortly after high school. We have 3 wonderful children and love each other ...
A. 13 April 2012: Don't worry yourself about this, that is not good for you. You have acted like a complete gentleman throughout the situation. I think the first thing you should do is to simply let your wife know that you are not comfortable with this situation. ... (read in full...)
10 months into our relationship, he's decided he wants a complete makeover!
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 10 months now, and I really love him, but recently he's been talking about how he wants to change his look. Grow out some facial hair, cut his hair short, change his wardrobe, and other stuff. Hone...
A. 11 April 2012: He's just trying something different. How do you know that he is not going to look even more gorgeous when he changes to his new look? I don't think you need to be concerned. His changes may not be anything to do with you. At least he is making life ... (read in full...)
Fooled around with my male friend, I don't know if he is straight, bi or gay! What should I say to him?
Q. Hey all. Il give a bit of background to the situation. I have this friend whos a lad, we relly close am gay and he doesn't know. I think he is gay but maybe bi. We're close hes the only male friend am really close to cus most of my mates are girls. ...
A. 11 April 2012: What is a typical gay looking lad look like? I am sure you will find that they are not as stereotyped as you think.
You can't tell whether he is gay or whatever from that one night. He may have just been experimenting. He may be unsure himself.... (read in full...)
Should I tell people I'm gay? Or should I wait until I'm older?
Q. Hey all, I am 14 nearly 15 in may. I am gay but sometimes wish i wasn't. I hang around with girls at school and go twon with them. Some of my friends know am gay. But they are all girls what know. I could never tell my mate whos my best male mate I ...
A. 11 April 2012: You don't have to tell anyone. But at the same time you do need to be true to yourself.
Kissing that girl to impress your mates wasn't a good move. You weren't true to yourself and this could backfire on you.
... (read in full...)
Married lover has developed fantasies of us getting caught in the act
Q. My married lover lately has mentioned these fantasies where we are caught in the act by her (female) roommate, that roommate's boyfriend, or even her husband. Sometimes we act them out and she gets very, very turned on. She will cum for me (hard...
A. 11 April 2012: I think if you want to know, then you need to ask her. I certainly hope that the part about getting caught by her husband is and remains a fantasy. But it would serve you both right if you get caught.
... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because he saw me talk to another guy! How do I show him it was just a conversation and that I only love him?
Q. hi dear uncle and aunts, im now in a lot of trouble and my rlationship is now on a verge of breakup. yesterday my bf sees me talking to another guy and broke up in anger .he is neither receiving my call nor coming online .he abused me and said you ...
A. 11 April 2012: What you have actually described is an opportunity for you to get out of this relationship. He is very possessive and if you remained together I doubt he would stop there. This is a sign of things to come. You really don't need him in your life.... (read in full...)
Do girls shave their pubes when they have sex?
Q. I'm a virgin still at the age of 19, I've had plenty of flings but I'm waiting for that right guy to lose it to, and I reckon it will be soon. One thing - do girls shave their pubes when they have sex? I know this sounds ridiculous but i...
A. 11 April 2012: Girls don't necessarily shave. You can please yourself. However, if you shave, consider being itchy, ingrown hairs, etc... afterwards. Hey, why not try it at least once. But I wouldn't bother.
Could I also suggest that if you choose to shave WH... (read in full...)
He helped me through my divorce but I don't think this relationship is working, should I tell him straight and leave the relationship?
Q. I've divorced my controlling husband after 20 years. I've met this man and he helped me while I went through my divorce. I know from start he is not right but he persuade me to give it a go as he is 16 years older than me. Two years on Im 51 and ...
A. 11 April 2012: You have ended one relationship that didn't work and while it was ending, you became involved in another. That must have been difficult for you.
Yes, you should leave this relationship. Be direct with him. You appreciate him, you apprecia... (read in full...)
Boyfriend makes comments when I speak to my family just because he has no contact with his!
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend doesn't have any contact with any of his family. I'm not sure why, I have tried to talk about it but he avoids the subject. The trouble is he makes comments and remarks when I speak to mine and I'm getting sick of it. I have ...
A. 11 April 2012: For some reason, his relationship with his family has gone sour and I think that he is trying to convince himself that family is a disposable commodity. How does he do that? By degrading your relationship with your family. He needs to resolve his ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex refuse to accept he is abusive?
Q. Why does my ex still deny his abuse towards me? My.ex and I have been split up for 5 months we had been together 8 yrs but to me was a bad relationship, he hadn't know really what he wanted, although 43, he never made a commitment to me or our ...
A. 11 April 2012: It is very unfortunate that you still have to have any contact at all with this degrading creep. You should be indifferent to whatever he thinks, though, I get the feeling that he has a limited capacity for any kind of formal thought to begin ... (read in full...)
Found out he was married, he eventually left his wife and claims to want me.....but could this ever work out after everything that happened?
Q. Hi, I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for four months when he arrived at my house in the middle of the day to tell me that he was married and that his wife had just found out about out relationship. I'm not squeeky clean in this situatio...
A. 11 April 2012: It was good that you met face to face with his wife and you were both open hearted enough to survey the damage together.
He is a thoughtless man. This kind of guy can be easily categorised. To guys like him, the crime is in being caught, with no ... (read in full...)
How can I talk to my family about my ex abusing me and also deal with my new relationship?
Q. So a little back story first. I'm 17, I was sexually abused by my ex for almost a year, and I am working with the police on charges for the assault. Because I am a minor, I have to tell my parents that I am making allegations against him, and they ...
A. 11 April 2012: As far as the problem with your ex is concerned, you really must tell your parents straight out. There is no easy way to do that but you have to. In the second part of your life; more abuse. You are being treated with contempt and disrespect. This... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is obsessed with my ex and is now asking me to compare her to my ex in every way, physically, mentally, sexually. Is this weird?
Q. girlfriend obsessed with exes, attacks me verbally. ive been with this girl for almost 11 monthes. some days she begins to think about my ex, she goes on her twitter page, facebook etc. . .then she brings her up at least 4 times a week telling m...
A. 11 April 2012: No, this is not weird. For some reason your girlfriend is feeling very insecure. She is looking for a lot of reassurance from you.
Don't compare her to your ex-girlfriend. You don't want to buy into her game. Buy her some flowers, take her out ... (read in full...)
I was afraid my boyfriend was going to hit me last night. What do I do?
Q. Im still in my 8 year relationship and have hit a wall. i went to bed the other night quite late and because the cat normally sleeps at the foot of my side of the bed. i paid the cat some attention and laid down. normally when i do this he comes up ...
A. 10 April 2012: There is surely much more to this than just the cat. You should be seriously be getting over a frustrated guy that reacts like that. I can't see an excuse for it.
... (read in full...)
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