A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How important are looks when already in a relationship. I know there has to be an initial attraction but after that?My problem is that by using make-up, the right clothes (like a padded bra), heels - I can look far more attractive than I actually am. My actual body is terrible, I can honestly list something wrong with every part and no it's not my imagination. I lost a lot of weight which shows, I have really small boobs, bad skin - I could go on.So if I got into a relationship how likely would it be for someone to leave me as soon as they saw (assuming they're not a complete jerk and we had been together a while)?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): I think i've given the wrong impression here. My problem is with my body, not my face. I only actually wear make up when I go for nights out (which is far less than most girls).
My body looks ok with clothes on purely because you can't see the terrible cellulite, loose skin and ingrown hairs.
Also if I didn't wear a padded bra, then I might as well give up on finding anyone full stop. Guys don't even speak to me when I don't wear it. I'm completely flat chested - AAA.
A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (13 April 2012):
 Don't be ridiculous. Did you even think that if you were in a relationship it's because the guy actually likes you. If for some reason he doesn't, you're better off without him. We've all been through that experience.
I can't imaging how you can look more attractive than you really are. Maybe you really are as attractive as you look! I mean it - think again.
Please go easy on yourself. Stop looking for reasons to put yourself down, see your beauty. We're all flawed and we all know the tricks. Dress in a way that you feel good about yourself and let that be your focus. There's nothing wrong with a little make-up and some nice clothes, but I would put the padded bra in the bin. Right now! :)
Look again... you're beautiful.
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A
male
reader, tottenhamhotspur  +, writes (13 April 2012):
Oh god.
Stop worrying so much. My girlfriend isn't the smallest girl in the world, but she isn't big by any means. I love her even with all of her 'flaws' ... if I didn't find her attractive, I wouldn't be with her- wouldn't be fair to either of us.
She thinks she isn't that attractive, but somethings are more important than just boobs, skin, etc.
Don't sweat it. If he dumps you cause you aren't 'good enough', he's not worth it. If he wasen't attracted to you, he wouldn't be with you. period.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 April 2012):
 "My problem is that by using make-up, the right clothes (like a padded bra), heels - I can look far more attractive than I actually am"
No you can't. You're working what you've got, you're not using MAGIC you know. You're wearing a padded bra, you're not having one night surgery to enlarge your breasts and then take the silicone out once the night is over...
Your breasts are still your breasts, and YOUR breasts look great with padded bras. The bra alone does NOT create the boobs.
Your "actual" body is terrible you say.. as if clothes were magical and creates a whole new body for you. It's still your body underneath the clothes. It is YOUR body that looks great with such and such clothes on. Not someone elses body. Yours. Your ACTUAL body. It's not like you start up an android to go out on town in your stead...
Being skillful at using make-up to look amazing does not equal being fake. You need to differentiate between enhancements and REAL FAKES. A real fake in this case, would be a body swap. Because you're talking as if it isn't your "actual" body you bring out on town when you go clubbing. But it is your body, isn't it? There's been no supernatural body swapping going on? Nopes. Then it isn't fake, it's still you, and it's still you very own actual body.
No, a guy who's actually interested in you and likes you will not leave you as soon as he sees you without make-up on. Your make-up does NOT completely alter your face. Your face, and what you look like, is very much visible even after putting on make-up. Besides, most men I know of think a woman is more attractive without make-up on, and I've been told this even through my worst acne-periods.
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