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This question has 14 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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2 January 2011: I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
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Please help :( I love my boyfriend, but could he be gay?
Q. Okay guys, I really need your help. I am such a mess from worrying about this. I've explained a lot below...read it and let me know what you think? I am 22. I've been with my boyfriend, who is 23, for about a year, and I love him to death. We get...
A. 5 February 2013: Doesn't sound gay to me. ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to be more of a man. How do I do this?
Q. Well, me and my bf had been together for 4 years and he's so good to me. We are 23.Problem is, sometimes I feel down when seeing him talking and acting like a girl. When he's talking, he often uses the voice like how a girl laugh. Oh I don't know ...
A. 4 February 2013: Okay, listen carefully: you are seriously harming this man. I don't know what to say really. I mean, I could explain to you all the various things that are wrong with what you said in your post, but that would be redundant.If you think the way you ... (read in full...)
I am attracted to my married female pastor and I think she knows it. Now what?
Q. I'm attracted to our female church pastor. She's married. I took her for coffee, but I think she picked up my motives cuz she won't email me anymore. I couldn't stop thinking about her, but it's getting better now. It was terrible! I was waking ...
A. 4 February 2013: What do you do other than nothing? That's a rather limiting question. You can't go around restricting people from giving you the only good advise possible in scenario. I'll give it to you anyway: nothing, that's what now. You do nothing. ... (read in full...)
Confused about masturbation and things related.
Q. Right some questions, masturbation when in a relationship - isn't the whole point of masturbating because you can choose who you want to look at as in porn/think about and not many people think of their own girlfriend because there is no point? ...
A. 4 February 2013: This is always a complicated one. Jannie says she wouldn't have a problem refraining from porn if her partner preferred she didn't, whereas i'm not sure I would. Now, I wouldn't consider myself a very unreasonable person generally, so I would li... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Is it wrong for me to have unprotected sex, already had a miscarriage and want to get pregnant?
Q. ok so heres the deal...me and my bf have been dating for almost a year now...we stated having sex 5 months after we began dating...but we NEVER used condom...we are 2 highschool students and he is to graduate this year...i have suffered a miscarrage ...
A. 4 February 2013: Hey,partying isn't for idiots! You take that back! Seriously, i'm legitimately hurt. I love partying:( But this isn't about me. You couldn't be more right in saying that you don't have to take our advice, and if we took your age out of the pict... (read in full...)
My ex wants to get together again but I'm not sure if I want the heartache
Q. My ex boyfriend and father of my 4 year old daughter wants to give us another chance but im not sure if its worth the heartache again. We were only 17 and 23 when we got together, we were together 2 years then I had my little girl at just turned 2...
A. 3 February 2013: I advise against it. Thing about moving on is, you move on. Otherwise you haven't moved on at all. You've kind of just, I don't know...move along for a bit. Shuffled. You said you were stupid for putting up with for so long. Now imagine how much... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Is it wrong for me to have unprotected sex, already had a miscarriage and want to get pregnant?
Q. ok so heres the deal...me and my bf have been dating for almost a year now...we stated having sex 5 months after we began dating...but we NEVER used condom...we are 2 highschool students and he is to graduate this year...i have suffered a miscarrage ...
A. 3 February 2013: In a word, yes.... (read in full...)
I cant talk about serious things with my b/f and its making wonder if I should end things
Q. I have been at university since September and after a few weeks I started dating this guy. He's a very sweet loving person and always is there for me but sometimes when I want a serious chat it's like he just can't handle things. I used to class him ...
A. 3 February 2013: Hey, I started University in September too! Ain't it the best thing ever? But alas, I digress! You started dating a few weeks into September which means that it has been, what, 5 months? Bad sign for the relationship if you're having doubts al... (read in full...)
Would a FWB work for me? I only miss the physical part of a relationship
Q. Right everyone seems to think I'm scared of being alone because I've had two serious relationships by the time in 17, but the thing is I love being single But when I am single I miss having someone to hug kiss and have sex with so do you think if ...
A. 3 June 2012: I don't know about hugging. That's all a bit too cute. Too...affectionate. Truth is, and this is especially true for women, it's difficult to separate sex from emotion. I don't recommend it. Even the name sounds stupid, don't you think? "Friends ... (read in full...)
My family feel that if my 27 year old boyfriend is having sex with me, then he should pay for ALL my expenses! And the poor guy does enough already!
Q. Ive been dating my boyfriend almost a year, im 19, he's 27 he also lives 3 hours away but visits every weekend. He pays for 99% of everything when we're together the hotels, dinner, movies, concerts etc. I havent worked in about 5 months i cant ...
A. 2 June 2012: Well, if it's a case of your lifestyle choice versus religious ethos, then we're going to have to consider the likely possiblity that you family's mind on the matter will not change. The fact of the situation is that at some point you had a paradigm ... (read in full...)
The bible says turn the cheek when someone hits you, but enough is enough, I want my own revenge!
Q. Hi all I'm a good decent guy. I treat people like I want to be treated and I live my life always thinking about others and caring for them. I recently found out my gf has been cheating on me from the start of our relationship plus shes into ...
A. 2 June 2012: I think you should just get your stuff and leave with as little dialogue as possible. She's in her twenties, if she's not on the right track, let her deal with that by herself. Telling her parents about loaded aspects of her life like drugs will ... (read in full...)
My family feel that if my 27 year old boyfriend is having sex with me, then he should pay for ALL my expenses! And the poor guy does enough already!
Q. Ive been dating my boyfriend almost a year, im 19, he's 27 he also lives 3 hours away but visits every weekend. He pays for 99% of everything when we're together the hotels, dinner, movies, concerts etc. I havent worked in about 5 months i cant ...
A. 1 June 2012: OP, you have good head on your shoulders, which is great. I don't have to convince you sex isn't a lucrative tool or that it's not your boyfriend's obligation to pay for everything because you've already shown you understand that. Question is, how ... (read in full...)
The bible says turn the cheek when someone hits you, but enough is enough, I want my own revenge!
Q. Hi all I'm a good decent guy. I treat people like I want to be treated and I live my life always thinking about others and caring for them. I recently found out my gf has been cheating on me from the start of our relationship plus shes into ...
A. 1 June 2012: I know you're hurting Mister, but we're not in the revenge business here , and I don't think you should be either. Jesus was pretty on the mark with the "turn the other cheek" strategy but, without discrediting him, might I suggest another? Simply ... (read in full...)
Guys: Is a bossy girl a massive turn off?
Q. Hey, i was talking to my friends the other day about guys we've hooked up with and now im a bit worried. When im with a guy i tend to sort of tell them what I want them to do...like if they're not turning me on, i'll say 'do this is me...'. But my ...
A. 1 June 2012: I don't think so at all. I might even go as far as to say it's a bit of turn on. Knowing for certain you're doing exactly what the person you're hooking up with likes makes everything that much more exciting. And call me crazy, but I don't know if ... (read in full...)
Is this just a 'guy thing' or disrespectful?
Q. Okay, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and he has a blog, on this blog he posts pictures regularly of girls bums/girls in lingerie, raunchy stuff etc. He knew it got to me and I've asked him so many times to stop it and he doesn't ...
A. 1 June 2012: A lot of people do this. You only have to browse through tumblr very briefly to discover a wealth of different blogs, by men or women, dedicated to some form of sexuality. Some people have blogs specifically so that they can post pictures of ... (read in full...)
Was it such a big deal that I lied to my b/f's mom about a job interview?
Q. Hello. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. Just recently I was supposed to go to an interview for a retail department store, but I cancelled it because I was too lazy.. : Anyways my boyfriend's mom asked me how it went and...
A. 1 June 2012: Its a big deal because you lied.
Lying is baaaad.
When a person lies, they've done a reaaally bad thing.
If you get caught lying, people get maaaad.
Mad people are sad people.
Really though, it's a relatively simple concept... (read in full...)
Getting over a girlfriend's sexual past
Q. Hello, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4 months now, im 19 and she is 21, I live in a small town and she has had sex with a lot of people I know in the past, I accept this as I do live in a small town, anyway I only found out ...
A. 1 June 2012: It's an overwhelmingly cumbersome image to have in your in your thinker. I don't think it's so much a matter of you not deserving her or having to man up; I'd argue it's more about changing your frame of mind. Consider this my dear friend: you don't ... (read in full...)
When are men going to STOP being so selfish about porn and START realizing they are destroying the woman that loves them?
Q. Some women like porn and don't mind if their bf's look at it. This does not apply to those women. This is for the rest of us, the majority. Those of us that HATE PORN and HATE HOW IT MAKES US FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES. Seriously, after all the ex...
A. 8 August 2011: Interesting articles? No, to us it's naked people engaging in sexual activities and we don't find it interesting, we find it arousing. No need to sugar coat it. What OP needs to realise is that her arguement is equivalent to a man saying "when will ... (read in full...)
When are men going to STOP being so selfish about porn and START realizing they are destroying the woman that loves them?
Q. Some women like porn and don't mind if their bf's look at it. This does not apply to those women. This is for the rest of us, the majority. Those of us that HATE PORN and HATE HOW IT MAKES US FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES. Seriously, after all the ex...
A. 8 August 2011: Ummm, the reason OP is getting bashed is because she's presenting her opinion in a persecuting and accusing fashion. The whole "men who watch porn are ruining our self esteem!Go shag a laptop" thing isn't new to this site, and I would like to ... (read in full...)
When are men going to STOP being so selfish about porn and START realizing they are destroying the woman that loves them?
Q. Some women like porn and don't mind if their bf's look at it. This does not apply to those women. This is for the rest of us, the majority. Those of us that HATE PORN and HATE HOW IT MAKES US FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES. Seriously, after all the ex...
A. 6 August 2011: Awesome, another one of these! Honestly, if I knew one girls's opinion on one guy's actions spoke for my whole gender, i would have stayed away from the penis section when God was handing out genders.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my fiancée I kissed a girl at my bachelor party?
Q. Hi, one creepy loser here. I'm getting married at the end of August and had my bachelor party last weekend. To cut a long story short I got extremely drunk at the party and kissed another girl. It lasted less than a few seconds and nothing more...
A. 1 August 2011: If you feel guilty about it, tell her, but I wouldn't hold it against you if you didn't, because its a stag night, temptation is guaranteed and alcohol alters our thought processes so yes, being drunk is an excuse in this context. Had you been drunk ... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you be with a virgin? Or is it really 'too much drama'?
Q. Most guys I know say that they don't want to sleep (or even date because that will eventually lead to sleeping) with a virgin, because it's 'too much drama'. I feel like I'm way behind and I won't find anyone to ever be with me just because of that....
A. 1 August 2011: When i read this, I imagined someone shouting "I DON'T WANT TO BE A 14 YEAR OLD!" :D...sorry, i'm immature.
Discussions about virginity are typically raised later in a relationship, at a point where if a guy is good for you, he won't care. Th... (read in full...)
How do you tell if you really love someone?
Q. Hey, I can't figure out how I truly feel about my bf of 10 months - how do you know if you really love someone? Thanks :)...
A. 1 August 2011: Though it has a definite definition, love is actually quite arbitrary. There's no one definitive explanation of how to recognize love, but frequently mentioned feelings include the need for that person, sense of security when around them, and ... (read in full...)
Should I tell our spouses about affair?
Q. I have posted a few questions about this problem but here we go again. I'm married and have been having a 'thing' with a married man. After months of flirting, sex, hundreds of texts, I realised I had fallen for this other man. To the point I would ...
A. 1 August 2011: To answer your question OP, yes i would rather know. The thing is however,you have to give him the same time and space to decide how, when and if to tell his wife as you've had with telling your husband.
I get it. You expect him to come back bec... (read in full...)
Do shallow people lead better, easier and more fun lives?
Q. I have been wondering for some time about some of my girlfriends who I think are somewhat shallow. I mean, they don't reflect on anything, they just pursue what they want (sex, money, relationships) and don't much care who and what they damage in ...
A. 31 July 2011: Arrogance, ignorance and shallowness are usually either indoctrinated traits or defence mechanisms;being vain to unconciously shroud insecurity or shallow because of youthfulness and a young mind. Sometimes it's just plain vanity however.
Eithe... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you ever approach an average looking girl?
Q. I am wondering if there is anything that an average looking girl could do to grab a guys attention? Is there a (non-slutty) way she could dress? A specific perfume? Any behavior? Something she could say? Have you ever developed an attraction fo...
A. 31 July 2011: I develop feelings without noticing, and then an "average" girl becomes a 10 because they have a sexy man trapping sense of humor or personality ... (read in full...)
When life's a female dog...
Q. ... haha sorry about the title. Lame i know :). I also know that this may sound dramatic, emo, cliche, cheesy, etc etc etc... BUT I had a momentary moment of absolute peace when i thought of this... When you're in a situation that just t...
A. 31 July 2011: "if the situation you're in is a bitch, then smile at the bitch"
Classic.... (read in full...)
He's really big and I'm really tiny and sex just isn't happening!
Q. I just started dating this guy who is amazing. Unfortunately when we tried to have sex it doesnt work for two main reasons. It takes a while for him to fit inside me. He is really big and I am really tiny, so the combination of the two is bad. ...
A. 31 July 2011: Remedy for the too big+too tiny combo is moisture; the two of you explore forms of d foreplay that make you particularly wet. As for going limp, well, that could be anything.What ever the case, he needs to relax. Just take your time with that ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for some men not to be into sex?
Q. Hiya, Well, I was just wondering if it was normal for some men not to be into sex...? My boyfriend of 18 months goes through sages when he is like a rabbit then dosent want to do nothing. Of course he never turn down the blow job when he is like...
A. 31 July 2011: "no sex mode"?! the horror! benard is correct though, sex drives differ.... (read in full...)
Should I tell our spouses about affair?
Q. I have posted a few questions about this problem but here we go again. I'm married and have been having a 'thing' with a married man. After months of flirting, sex, hundreds of texts, I realised I had fallen for this other man. To the point I would ...
A. 31 July 2011: No offence, but seriously? Whilst your post is well worded and seemingly rational, even if you don't know it, you reason for wanting to tell his wife stems from the inability to have him, not the desire to "show her what sort of man he really is". ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to really love two people?
Q. Is it possible to really love two people. Me and my childs father have been together five years. Weve been thru alot and i love him he is my best friend. But nine months ago we seperated and i met smeone else. It seems like i fell in love at first ...
A. 31 July 2011: Completely possible. We love people because they possess traits we desire, and thus we feel secure/happy because them, but sometimes more than 1 person provides those things.
That said, it's also selfish(but not your fault, lol:)). Human nature i... (read in full...)
Whats happening to this generation?
Q. Lately I been thinking a lot about the teens now days. I myself am a young 16 year old. I been seeing many teens throw there lives away for drugs,sex,love ect. Many have the pressure of fitting in with everyone else, that if you don't have the ...
A. 31 July 2011: In fact, i contest that increased teenage pregnacy is a bi-product of the previous generation treating teenage sexual activities as taboo instead of sufficiently providing education on matters of contraception. Saying "its bad, don't do it" doesn't ... (read in full...)
Whats happening to this generation?
Q. Lately I been thinking a lot about the teens now days. I myself am a young 16 year old. I been seeing many teens throw there lives away for drugs,sex,love ect. Many have the pressure of fitting in with everyone else, that if you don't have the ...
A. 31 July 2011: Thanks for the clarification. I apologize for my inability to agree though, its just im throughly convinced that what ever "bad" or lack of of motivation my generation suffers isn't new or more concenrated. I think it appears so because the media ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 4 May 2011: There are too many bad attempts to couple neurology and sexuality in this post. Cheating of the mind? Seriously?
Cheating in this context is a colloquil term that is interchangable with adultery.
Watching porn isn't cheating, becaus... (read in full...)
I'm angry towards my FWB, but the sex is great. Should I end it?
Q. Hi All. Please can I have some thoughts on the following!! thanks. I am in a FWB situation, and the sex is great. It makes me feel relaxed, happy and good. I am very highly sexed, and this guy is giving me exactly what I need. However, I am not ...
A. 3 May 2011: The irony is, the "FWB" agreement is designed to avoid complications due to commitment, yet sex in itself, casual as it may be, is a commitment; this arrangment just makes it more complicated. ... (read in full...)
Cheated on husband, now want him back?
Q. Hullo there, I am a married woman with a 2 year old son who doesn't know what to do next. The thing is I cheated on my husband two times and I was caught out by my husband. I truly love him and badly need him in my life. He was angry at first, but ...
A. 3 May 2011: We're not angry. Well, im not anyway, dunno bout the others.
Do update. ... (read in full...)
Cheated on husband, now want him back?
Q. Hullo there, I am a married woman with a 2 year old son who doesn't know what to do next. The thing is I cheated on my husband two times and I was caught out by my husband. I truly love him and badly need him in my life. He was angry at first, but ...
A. 30 April 2011: You cheated on him twice. Frankly, if he had asked for advice on this site, I would have told him to leave you.
Just don't do it again and he'll gradually trust you again eventually. All you can do is wait.... (read in full...)
What does my dream mean?
Q. I had the weirdest dream last night!!! It was about a friend who I really have not thought about in anyway as a potential "partner". Actually, that same night I had hung out with a guy who I am trying to find out whether I like or not. But here is ...
A. 30 April 2011: Seriously? We're doing this? Dream interpretation?... (read in full...)
One ourtcome of casual sex may be incest
Q. This is an interesting point I've been thinking about for a while and am curious to see what anyone else has to say. It seems like more and more it is becoming socially acceptable to have children outside of marriage, even to have multiple childre...
A. 30 April 2011: There is no correlation between casual sex and incest.... (read in full...)
Whats happening to this generation?
Q. Lately I been thinking a lot about the teens now days. I myself am a young 16 year old. I been seeing many teens throw there lives away for drugs,sex,love ect. Many have the pressure of fitting in with everyone else, that if you don't have the ...
A. 30 April 2011: Honestly, I fail to understand what fuels people's negative perception of my generation. Sex, drugs, violence and such arent making their debut now, and the level of their concentration varies depending on what circumstances surround what ... (read in full...)
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