A
female
age
30-35,
annakat
writes:This is an interesting point I've been thinking about for a while and am curious to see what anyone else has to say.It seems like more and more it is becoming socially acceptable to have children outside of marriage, even to have multiple children with multiple fathers and still not be married. Has anyone ever considered the outcome this could have in the future concerning our childrens' relationships?For example, I dated a guy a few months ago who had a one year old son. He had been married to the child's mother, but then they divorced. While in the relationship with me, he got a call from an ex-girlfriend claiming that she had a few month old daughter that he was the father of, but she had waited to tell him because she was afraid of what his reaction would be. Now, his son has a baby (half) sister. What if there was another woman he had slept with who also got pregnant but never told him? What if he would have gotten me pregnant? Let's say I were to also have his child. Now there are three siblings who don't know they're related to each other. Granted they will all know who their father is, but that isn't always the case.More and more people are seeking relationships for "intimate encounters," "casual sex," "hook ups," and other sexual experiences with limited commitment. Let's say Joey has sex with 10 different women in his life with little or no commitment to a relationship. Now let's say of those 10 women, five of them become pregnant, and three of them decide to keep their baby and two give the child up for adoption. Now there are five children somewhere in the world who all have the same birth father. It's been a few years and Joey decides to settle down and get married. He and his wife have two children together. Now there are seven children who are all related to each other, but only two are aware of each other. Fast forward 15-20 years and now all of Joey's children are at the age where they can date. They could very well be dating their (half) brother or sister and not even know it. Suppose they did end up together and later had children of their own. Because they don't know they have the same father, they don't know their relationship is incest.However, there's really no way to stop this. We can't force people to stay committed to each other once a child is introduced to the situation, and we can't monitor who people have relations with. But before you have sex with someone, think about how many partners they've had before you, think about how many you've had, and how many all your previous partners had before you. It really is interesting how you can be connected to someone, and not even know it.
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divorce, ex girlfriend, incest Reply to this Article
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male
reader, Starmonster888  +, writes (30 April 2011):
 There is no correlation between casual sex and incest.
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (12 April 2011):
I think it's an interesting thought, although I don't think that it is that large of a risk. Generally, both biological parents know about the child (otherwise where would the child support payments be coming from). But yes, it is a somewhat scary thought, especially with adoption and sperm donors and what not.
Incidentally, my fiance just discovered that he has a half-sister floating around somewhere. His dad had an affair right around the time he was born, and got some other woman pregnant. His mom and dad never told him until he was 25, don't think his dad EVER would have told him. He never ran into her, and now he knows and is with me anyway, but hey, it could have been possible that he would have slept with her without knowing she was his half-sister.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (11 April 2011):
 I think the bigger cause of accidental incest in the next decade or two will be the grown children of sperm donors, many of whom have (or had for a long time) the protection of legally-guaranteed anonymity.
Still not quite sure where I stand on the issue of sperm donor anonymity, though. There are more factors at work than accidental incest. Just thought I'd throw it out there.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 As for Adam and Eve, they were the first two people according to the Bible, yet... it doesn't say anything about God not creating more people. Just to chip that into the mix.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (11 April 2011):
I think you are blowing this a bit out of proportion. Most people who have a kid, in fact close to all who have a kid, knows about it. A woman who hides the child from the father is really a disgrace, and cases like that do not happen often. You might also blame this not on promiscuity, but on city living. If people lived in rural areas with few people around everyone would know who slept with whom and who's the father of what child... So saying this is a danger with sleeping around is just the same as me saying this is a danger with living in a large city.
All the same, this is why we use contraceptives. No unwanted pregnancies, and no STD's. Not using protection while having a one night stand would be the most stupid thing you ever did in your life. Having one night stands while using protection isn't even close to stupid. But then, of course, the only 100% safe way to avoid pregnancy is to practice abstinence.
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A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (10 April 2011):
 This is an interesting [and worrying] thought. Whilst it's not impossible, it's probably not very likely that it would happen [that is, that a half-brother and sister would end up sleeping together] so it's almost not worth worrying about.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (9 April 2011):
 Where is it acceptable social behavour to have children before marrige? And to have multiple children to different people?It isnt, Just because we arnt throwing tomartos at single mothers doesnt mean we approve. The lady living next door with her husband has 4 children, to 3 different guys. I think she's trailer trash. You should hear how often the other dads start fights with her husband.To be very honest, I am deeply ashamed that I didnt marry my first gf. I miss my daughter, and know that I have missed out on alot of the rewards of seing her grow up. If I could figure out how to be in a room with my ex without her pissing me off. Id prepose tomorrow. But such is life. Its also embarrising to admit to new gfs that I have a child
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