A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend and father of my 4 year old daughter wants to give us another chance but im not sure if its worth the heartache again.We were only 17 and 23 when we got together, we were together 2 years then I had my little girl at just turned 20. My ex spent all his time with his mates and cheated on me 3 times of what I know of. I was stupid to put up with it for so long but I left him when our daughter was 8 months old. He wasnt a great dad at first but in the last year he has really changed. Hes got a good job, and stopped hanging out with his dopehead mates. He reckons he is older now and wants to get married and be a proper family but ive moved on and I just dont know if I should try it for my childs sake or tell him too little too late? He pays me 150 a month for her and always is on time when he has her. He has changed but im not sure if im seeing only the good cos were not together anymore.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 It sounds like he has really changed.
IF you think you can make it work with him, or you still think you have feelings for him I might consider spending some time together to see if it works out...
IF the only reason you are saying no is based on his past and he is no longer friends with those guys and he appears to have cleaned up his act the only thing you can do is give him a chance.
IF you don't have those feelings at all for him, if you are with someone else, if you have moved on, well then the answer is no.....
NEVER make a choice to be with someone because you have a child with them... that's not a good reason.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): I would say date another guy. the reason - you have a child means you have to be strong for two. you can't date any guy... your child will be affected as well. any fights between you and your ex may effect you as well as your child...
If your ex really has changed.. he will be there for you always... and for your baby as well.. so test him on that aspect... if he can be there for you without trying to take advantage of your vulnerability.. he has changed..
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888 +, writes (3 February 2013):
 I advise against it. Thing about moving on is, you move on. Otherwise you haven't moved on at all. You've kind of just, I don't know...move along for a bit. Shuffled. You said you were stupid for putting up with for so long. Now imagine how much more stupid it would be to try again after writing that sentence. I get it, people change and ladidadida, but that's only worth something when they change for a significant better; getting a decent job and being a good father means he's catching up with the world, not revolutionizing it. At best he deserves a nod, or high five, not marriage with the woman he cheated on multiple times. You probably are just seeing the good. Look closer, and then look again. If it still looks like he's changed after that, keep your distance anyway. It's like rehab. All that sobriety/moving on isn't worth squat if you relapse.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 February 2013):
 No one wants to answer it because he does cheat in the future then we will feel bad. I am the kind that forgive if I still have feelings for the guy. When you date a new guy it's not without the risk of heartache. I would advise you to go slow and be friends first. You basically want to know how he handles conflict, stress and boredom. These are important when it comes to long term arrangement.
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