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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Thankyou for reading this, just needed to write.. hope someone will read this and try to listen.Those of us who are on the quieter side tend to value our friends a lot, sometimes we dont have lot of them. I'm queiter and have few friends, a small circle, that I see occasioanally, we all have our own lives right? So it's hard for us sometimes to see friends a lot. So we value the friends we have, even if we hardly see most of them. Its difficult for us quiet folk to meet new people at times, sometimes we are unsure of what to say and sometimes even though we really try to be interested in others they don't seem to want to know us.What are we to do then? when we try and get rejected? give up? it's so easy to do this - when you try to talk to others and they seem more interested in the more outpoing person next to you. Example: this happens to me at work, I try to be nice to ppl, and have no enemies, ppl say hi to me and a few ask after me but thats often it. I make small talk and ask about ppl but they rarely ask about me, quite a few of my colleagues are younger and a lot of them seem to get along with each other and are loud. So whats a quiet person to do? keep trying? this I will as I like my job.This has happened to some of us our whole life and at times its easy to feel like not even trying with ppl, as people dont try back. people dont want to be our good friends - just an aquaintance, someone to say hi to or a friend they see once every 3 months. Shiftwork and strange hours stop me personally doing regular hobbies or sport, as I cant go every wk.what do others think? how is this problem fixed - we all need people thats for sure. But what do we do if people dont seem to need or want us because we are quieter? and sometimes judged as boring.All some of us quiet people want is a good friend who cares for us. Thats not to much to ask is it? we try to but seem to get nowhere.
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male
reader, indian.boy65  +, writes (1 August 2009):
 We are who we are,, we do what we do... and there is a place for EVERYBODY on this planet.. Nothing can make you uncomfortable if you are comfortable with yourself..
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): I used to think the same, and fair enough, I don't have as much life experience compared to others who may be reading this article. But as a quiet person, we're usually pressured more into things we don't feel up to do because some like to watch us squirm or we're left out completely.
For one, I prefer to the loner, because I watch people and how they act. Usually, I find them to be mean and have no sense morality. They're all hot-headed that aren't worth my time, so I know to steer clear of them.
But it's easier to make friends for me, since people usually come up to me. Either they are naturally curious or pity me for being off in a corner by myself. Thankfully, those people are the friendly ones or the ones that are just as shy. So us quiet people are always finding each other.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): I can relate to this article. I'm fairly quiet myself. Actually, I don't think of myself as being particularly quiet as such, it's just compared to most other people I tend to blend into the background!
When I was at college not long ago, I had the same experience you describe. I tried hard to approach people, to take an interest, to join in with the conversations...and I always found that I was the one left behind. One tutor even told me that the others in my group felt uneasy around me and didn't know what to make of me.
So yes, I often think "What is the point?" I do think society in general places a greater emphasis on louder, more outgoing people. I don't know how to go about finding a solution or a way forward either.
But I DO think that us more quiet people are needed. If the world was filled with people who just never stopped talking...well, who would listen? We are needed. I think it might take a while for people to realise that, but I hope one day it will happen.
So to the author of this article, you're not alone with how you feel. Keep going, and hopefully we can change people's perspectives of quiet people. x
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female
reader, Steffiemon  +, writes (19 July 2009):
Well, I can tell you myself that I used to be just like you are. It annoyed me so much, that I loosened up a bit, and I made great attempts at breaking out of my comfort zone and talking to ppl. They wont bite, in fact, you have nothing to lose. Just be friendly, and yourself. Drink an energy drink or something to loosen you up. Comment clothes, and jewelry, just find something to say. There is a whole world to talk about.
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male
reader, quarky  +, writes (18 July 2009):
 On the friends aspect, I only have one or two good friends too-and they happen to be family members!
Not sure why, but I only seem to be able to have good platonic friendships with women. They tell me I'm a nice guy and a good listener so I often end up as the 'big brother' with the waterproof shoulder!
Thing is after that, they'll find a partner so these friendships don't last long, which is a shame bit I don't mind-if I've helped, that's what counts!
Not sure if that resonates with you-just my experience.... (:
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male
reader, quarky +, writes (18 July 2009):
First of all, it's not a 'problem' -it's who we are!
Pretending to be someone else will never work.
Love happens when you are being yourself and when you least expect it.
People like us tend to have long term relationships that are more meaningful.
Should you give up? hell no!
Just don't get caught in a cycle of compromising who you are because of what others expect you to be-it's something I've learned the hard way.
It may take longer to find what you need -I haven't yet but I ain't giving up-despite the lonlieness and pain-life's way to short!
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