A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:If I don't act on my physical attraction w/my husbands friend how on earth will I get over the overwhelming aching attraction? Should I live my life always wondering what it would have been? I am talking about 1 night not a relationship. And yes he is married as well and already cheated on his wife. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): Yet another poster who is looking for approval to do something they know is wrong. This is classic framing the question to get the answer you want: namely "approval" to sleep with this sleaze ball.The answer of course is don't sleep with him, because it will not be one night stand but that start of an affair.Now don't get me wrong, I don't doubt you have the hots for this guy because it happens, even in happy marriages. But the point is that is when you are married, you put aside the ability to have affairs, one night or otherwise, in return for the benefits of being married.With not one word on your marriage I assume therefore that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with the marriage you are asking permission to risk wrecking.Therefore, the advice is simple: don't do it. I repeat, don't do it. Keep away from him, don't contact him. Try to reconnect with your husband and try to act like a grown woman and not a lustsick teenager.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): he is married and he has cheated on his wife previously. you really don't think highly of yourself do you? you astound me at the lack of pride you have for yourself.
are you the same woman who has been married for 23 years?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): So what if there's physical attraction? So what if it never goes away? Marriages don't stay together because nobody ever gets attracted elsewhere. They stay together because mature adults realize that they're willing to sacrifice for what they ultimately think is best and what they ultimately want most in the long run.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): Actually, I think you'll more than likely regret acting on these feelings than not.
I agree with the other posters, that there is something missing in your marriage, more than likely in the sex department, if you're looking else where.
Perhaps if you have problems with your marriage, then you should figure out what these problems are and dealing with them instead of going to your husbands friend.
You may be physically attracted to him, but that feeling will probably pass. If you slept with him, and then didn't feel attracted to him, or found he wasn't 'that good' then what will you feel. Disappointed? Regret? That it really wasn't worth it?
As you said, it's just night. Is one night with someone else really worth risking your marriage for? Because if you act on this attraction you will get caught, if not after then at some point in the future.
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A
female
reader, Hesty  +, writes (26 July 2009):
Instead of thinking about screwing some guy behind your poor husbands back why don't you try working on your marriage (and trying to make the sex better there instead of looking for it elsewhere).
Besides are you really willing to risk your marriage (and health) for a seedy one night stand? Especially a one night stand with you husbands friend! And what about the guys wife, surely you wouldn’t want to knowingly add to her pain. Besides, why would you want to have sex with a guy who has a past history of hurting his poor wife! How cold and heartless are you anyway!
Get over the feelings you’re having and try to concentrate on making your marriage better.
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (26 July 2009):
 Putting it another way, will you live to regret your one night with this man?Will you be able to live with that?Are you prepared to risk your marriage?Think about those things as objectively as you can.Having been in your situation, you can get over the attraction, you just need to be in the right place to do so because you have to want your thoughts and feelings to change.Personally, I think you risk too much for what will be one night of passion - that's the conclusion I came to-and yes, I'm over her now, even tho' at the time, it felt like I never would.Try redirecting your feelings to your marriage perhaps, work out why you have these feelings-are there other issues in your relationship getting in the way?wish you luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): I think it is lust, plain and simple . One night could lead to an affair and imagine the guilt , confusion and turmoil you would feel. Try to avoid seeing this guy and keep a distance . It would lead to nothing but heartbreak ....good luck ...
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