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xMiiSS-CALDERx
writes:Friendship or Relationship? Things are never simple there is always complications in life, working through those complications is the hard part, you could risk everything for a moment of happiness. What do you do if you have to pick a friendship that will last a lifetime or a relationship that may not last, and if it ends badly you will lose a loved one and you wont have your friendship anymore, does it not make more sense to stop yourself before you get involved to much and have a friendship that will last forever?.“I love you but I wont let you hurt me, not you”. I’ve been heartbroken before, however I’m not sure if I was in love I definitely cared about someone a lot and I got hurt. I for some reason I keep letting this person hurt me I get involved with this person time after time and every time I now inside that I will get hurt but I carry on regardless. So it does not make much sense that I let myself be hurt over and over again but I won’t take a chance on someone else that I know doesn’t intentionally what to hurt me. It’s hard to take a chance on someone that has hurt you in the past. The easy option is to ignore what you feel and avoid questioning your decision. How do you know what the right decision is? If you continue to ignore your feelings you will still have your amazing friendship everything will carry on as before, imagine sharing everything with this person, they know everything about you flaws and all and they still like spending time with you and listening to what you have to say, but imagine what your life would be like without them an dif you could cope? I don’t think I would be able to relationships end its fact nothing lasts forever not when your young maybe if your older there is a better chance but if the odd’s are against you what do you do?, you could take the chance have a relationship with this person forget all the doubts and just be with them yes there is a possibility things may not work out and it could all go wrong but you would always have your memories which last forever. So the question is still unanswered choices are difficult you’ll never know if you’ve made the right one because there is always consciences losing a friend and having a short relationship or risking a relationship to keep a friend?.If today was your last day? It is true that life is a gift and you should live everyday like it’s your last you really should not regret anything you do or live in doubt. We are reminded all the time how short is by tragic incidents ending people’s lives its in the news almost everyday peoples lives being cut short. You cannot repleat days or go back and change things you only have one shot at each day you shouldn’t waste it but doubts and regret. So it’s selfish to hide your feelings and not let people know how you feel because you don’t know if you’ll have the chance again. comment.
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reader, Tomuchlove +, writes (26 August 2009):
God reading these comments just sums up what I have just been through and its so hard to make a real choice for myself we both faught it off at first but it just got worse someone said can friendships between male and female even work? I am not so sure I believe that there is an attraction to each other before the friendship even grows. like I say for me we went with it and YES it did destroy our friendship and if you ask me now would I have gone with it if I had knew the way things would turn out NO.At first its the greatest feeling in the world as you dont have any secrets from each other already there for it just makes it so much easier to kick off.But. . .I would give my right hand to have the friendship the way it was before and so would she but truth is it will never be the same and that hurts. I would rather have the attraction and my friendship than have lost it all.Dont get wrong we still talk and even still tempted to try again but my advise for anyone in this situation is dont go with it unless you are in love before it even happens its just no worth it. Breaks my heart to have lost my friend.
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female
reader, josephy  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 ooh life always has something makes us feel in a specific way
thinking most of our times what if and if only... .
but
what if your partner told you that he or she loves you but you don't have the same feeling is this going to ruin everything if you tell the truth or you will say nothing to protect the friendship..... each one of us has a doubt ans a question
what we have to do .... no one knows
sometimes it's so difficult to come out with what is real inside our hearts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): I am also going through one of these situation and wish there was a clean cut answer. I hate all the what ifs. I really like my best friend and am too scared to even say anything because I dont want to lose him as a mate. I finally decided to do something about it and I think I have screwed it up for good. It's way too difficult when the line between friendship and relationship is blurred and I reccommend anyone who feels the friendship might be heading in a different direction, they should do their best to keep it as good mates without the added feelings
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): not really sure about the whole 'friendship' thing between opposite sexes anymore...
I was friends with a guy for years who liked me more than I liked him..
The friendship was brilliant ....until we slept together then almost immediately it changed and the phonealls became less and less until they faded out COMPLETELY!!!
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (13 August 2009):
 I know not the answer but here's my thoughts, for what they're worth.
I've had strong feelings for friends in the past that may have grown into a relationship but never have. Right now, I'm going through this situation again.
What always happens (and will happen again) is that they end up with someone and the friendship ends. That leaves me with neither a friendship, nor a relationship. You may say then that they obviously are'nt true friends but we all know that such a friend will probably be seen as a threat to the third party.
So that is heart breaking. In some cases worse than others. Does this mean I'm somehow developing feelings I shouldn't? And that should know by now not to let friends get too close to avoid the situation?
The conclusion I've come to is that's how I am and if it helps the other person through whatever they are going through, at least I know I've helped.
Maybe there's something in my make up which means I need to be needed - I really don't know.
There is such a fine line between a real platonic friendship and a relationship and that line can be so easily blurred when feelings start to surface.
In my view, the choice as to whether to risk the friendship will always be an individual judgement call. But invariably, there is no reciprocation - otherwise, surely there would be a relationship anyway?
Just my thoughts as I say.
Funny that I will always say to people to grab any chance that comes along-but kn situations like this, I'm not so sure..
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