A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had a bad accident about three years ago, I got really thin and weak after it and lost all my self confidence. I've only just recovered from it in the last few months. A couple of months after the accident I saw this girl on the bus but I was too shy to speak to her. This went on for ages but I got the feeling she liked me because of the way she saw me act with everybody else. About 7 months ago we saw each other at an accounting exam and about a month later after the results she came and stood next to me at the bus stop. I know she wanted to talk to me but I was too shy and so she walked away. I know I offended her and it took me 5 full weeks to go up to her and apologise. She was the friendliest girl I ever met, however my shyness and lack of self confidence got the better of me and I made a mess of talking to her. I then did the worst thing I could have done, I ignored her after that when I saw her on the bus due to embarrassment. This went on for a couple of months until one night at a night class she sat behind me, and during the break she did everything she could to draw my attention to her without actually saying anything as I presume she wanted me to make the effort to talk to her. At the end of the class i deliberately took my time to pack my bag and when I turned aroud she was still sitting in her seat looking at me. I didn't make eye contact with her and I said nothing. She got up and walked away. I never felt as stupid or as bad over anything as I have over that. I didnt see her for two weeks until our last nightclass as she stopped getting the bus. I went up to her at the last nightclass to ask her could I talk to her, I wanted to apologise to her and tell her the reason why I acted like I did. She wouldnt speak to me and has not since. She has now started going out with someone else. I think she started seeing him shortly after the class when I made the biggest mistake of my life. I dont think there is a bigger idiot out there than me, I never acted like that before with any other woman, I can usually talk to anyone, anytime, anyplace, but I used to just freeze around this girl. I think its because I like her so much and because I had lost all my self confidence after the accident. Does anyone have any idea what her motives were that night when she sat behind me at the night class and acted like she did. It was out of the blue and does anyone have any idea what I can do to try and fix things with this girl or is it too late. A freind told me I should write her a letter, im not sure about that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks quarky for your reply. Unfortunately I think your right as she is now In a serious relationship with someone else. It's difficult for me as she Both lives and works near me, so I try to avoid seeing her as it reminds my what I have lost out on. Thanks again for your reply quarky.
A
male
reader, quarky  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 I've recently had a similar situation - check my article for more.Sorry to say I think you've blown it - something that I managed to avoid by actually doing something about it. I think she was interested in you but you gave off all the wrong signals that you weren't interested in her.Learn from your experience.Next time, remember:1 Women are not some strange alien creature that you can't approach to chat to. Even if they are beautiful .It's easier than you think it is. 2 What is the worst that could happen?She doesn't like you, pretends she's with someone? So what? At least then you'll know and be able to move on.3 Finally, if you ever,ever get an opportunityl ike this again, grab it with both hands-I know you're shy -me too. Not easy in your head but when you do go for it, you'll wonder why you thought it would be so difficult!.Think of it this way, you'll be dead in x amount of years-who will give a damn about your shyness then?Life's too short man-gotta go for it while you still can take opportunities when they come up, or regret not doing anything about it.
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