A
female
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,
anonymous
writes:For the last 6 months I have been in love with a wonderful man who I had every intention of marrying. Recently his past relationships have come to the fore a lot esp regarding his young son who is always getting into trouble. This child has recently started making up stories to the police about very serious crimes and caused a lot of trouble. I hold a responsible position within the community amd am a GP and magistrate. My boyfriend was asked to see the police to discuss his childs antics but because of his past record and inherent dislike of the police and I feel authority in general, he refused to go. I explained that behaving like this compounds the issue and would lead the police into thinking they are a bad family generally. I am somewhat horrified by this kind of behaviour and have never mixed with or had anything to do with anyone from this kind of background. I knew my boyfriend had been in trouble but I had accepted the reasons. Now it seems like I am mixing with a man and a family that are similar to Shameless. I am beginning to wonder if I can actually be associated with this kind of person as I am afraid people might think I am the same or that I myself might be brought down by it all. I appreciate this post sounds snobby and awful but I don't feel happy being with someone who is involved with the police, has been to prison and it now appears that his children are turning out the same. This trouble with his son is not an isolated incident, something dramatic happens every week and it is stressing me out. He says he wants me for the stability and decency i can bring into the relationship but i am having very serious doubts that anything will change - it will just get worse. My question is should I get out now or wait until the whole family is imprisoned for crimes they appear to wilfully commit and I am being strip searched on the way to Pentonville! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jason32477  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 Are you sure the child is making up these story's?I don`t know what the best advice is to give you.If this guy is seriously committing new crimes,(and by the sound of things he is even if you don`t believe it)then yes its time to let go and start over.But as someone with a criminal background I would hate to be shunned for something I did in my past.I believe I am a good person and would like the trust and compassion I feel I deserve.At any rate only you can decide what is really going on in the present.Someone with a criminal history has an 80% chance of reoffending.And if more than your relationship is at stake you should take these factors into account as well when you make your decision.
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reader, quarky +, writes (16 July 2009):
 I think you know what you should do. Everyone has baggage that they bring to a relationship but some baggage is heavier!
It sounds like you can't accept the issues that this man's family is causing and I totally understand why - and I think that really answers your question. If you're not comfortable handling or dealing with the issues, then you should move on.
There will be other guys without these issues out there-why put your career etc at risk for this man!?
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