A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hiafter all my rejection in the last 10 years i think i should give up on getting a boyfriend its too much of pain.there is too much competion out there .the guys i like somebody else so i don,t think is much point,any boys perfer tall,gorgeous,slim,busty,young girls not me.i can,t compete with girls like that and i don,t want.guys are very shallow both younger then and older the me.there are some girls out there who can be exactly what certain is looking for but not me.i can,t be like that.some girls can be great looking every day.i get depressed try to get a boyfreind all theses years and getting no where.may be it time i gave up on it?
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female
reader, MidnightSky  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 hey :)
no, dont ever ever give up. not every guy out there likes the description of girls as what you've said. Besdies, being yourself any guy would love that rather than being shallow.
please don't put yourself down, one day the right guy will come to you. Sometimes you don't have to look for love even though it seems you need to to find it. Treat youself with the respect you deserve, any guy will respect a girl who respects herself.
Live your life for now. eat, laugh, sleep, have fun. if you gave up i don't think it would make you any happier. or maybe try a new hobby, or go to places you don't usually go. like if you like art, join an art/pottery class or something. its a great chance to meet new people! or join a dating site like freedating and maybe you can meet someone :)
or if you don't like your looks or something, try a new hair cut, but some new clothes that you wouldnt usually buy. try different make-ups styles too.
don't get yourself too down about it, don't worry. be happy and people will be drawn to you. good luck in looove! :D x
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (13 March 2009):
 This may come across as sarcastic - and I guess it is - but yeah, give up....every guy out there is exactly the same and it's not worth wasting your energy on any of them.
Look - if we all went around 'giving up' when we had set backs a hell of a lot of people would be in nowhere's-ville right now...I wouldn't have completed high-school because my Chemistry assignment was too bloody confusing, I probably wouldn't be doing the job I do now because there were prettier looking applicants and there's a high chance I wouldn't be married still!
Was I away the day they said that life was a piece of cake, that everything you want will be delivered on a silver platter, that you are a passive participant in your own life???? Get real - EVERYTHING you want takes effort and time - and you re bound to have to go through a few trial and errors.
You need to change your mindset - would you date you with the attitude you are projecting about relationships and yourself? I doubt it. I'm not being mean - but maybe you should focus on finding a way to be 'happy' again in this world and a little less cynical - you've had some bad experiences, I get that and feel for you. I know it's now sometimes hard to see the good in people, friendships,relationships, life, yourself....you are going to need to work through that - until you do I doubt you will find the kind of relationship you are looking for.
I know this is probably confronting - I am shifting some of the responsibility for fixing this onto you - instead of laying it with all those a-hole guys who like the glamorous, busty, thin women....sorry, but you came on here asking for honest opinions and advice.
Work through what has caused this line of thinking for you - it's not too late to not end up bitter...and it's not too late to find someone special, I'd say go and see a good therapist and start talking.
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A
female
reader, lgonzal2  +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Well of course I do not know you but have you heard the expression, "You are who you date? You need to find love for yourself first and find what makes a good guy and then you can figure out what kind of guy you are looking for. But you have to start with loving and finding yourself first. Don't give up you got to go through a few or even several bad ones till one finally comes and sweeps you off your feet. Also if you do not like your looks lose weight or do whatever if you cannot get over that. It is doable. But again you haveto find out the issues you have and then you can fufill whatever comes your way.
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A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (12 March 2009):
 No, you shouldn't give up. I understand your discouragement, but ask yourself, ten years down the road, will having given up make you a happy person? I seriously doubt it.
Don't let yourself sink into cynicism and despair. I know at times it seems like most of the world is superficial and overly oriented toward looks. But if you look around you, plenty of funny-looking people have found their true love! :D
And also realize that taking a negative, discouraged outlook will only drive people away from you.
Try building yourself up from the inside. Do things that you love to do, whether it's painting, making music, bird watching, or whatever. Enjoy life and all of the things life offers. Learn something new that excites you. Doing those things will fill you up with a happiness and passion that shows on the outside that will draw people to you, whether friends or lovers.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): I could say the same about women not being interested in me because I am overweight.
I like to believe though that I shall find someone in the near future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): i just can,t find a guy to fancy me that i like.i am sick of trying.i just thinks guys are far too shallow and expert too much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): sorry - what sort of thing were you after? things to do or say to bloke?
confused, Star.x.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): i want helpful advice here.not the answers i am getting.some real helpful advice
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): No - never, ever give up.
Don't go looking for love - it will hide. just do other things and meet people. It will follow and come along when you least expect it.
you are female? that is enough for most men. focus on one thing that helps you gain your repect and confidence. a friend of mine who is very short wears high heels and great bras it all helps her , which in turn casts a glamor over the boys near by...
Hugs Star.x.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): I'd rather be with a kind, loving, generous girl of any description rather than a "tall,gorgeous,slim,busty,young girl" who is shallow.
I don't know you so I cannot comment specifically on your case, but I am sure if you have a good heart someone will love you for that.
Finally, I would be lieing if I said that girls who are "tall,gorgeous,slim,busty,young" would not attract my initial attention, but beauty needn't conform to these standards. Let your beauty on the inside shine through and you will always be more beautiful in every way than all those shallow people.
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A
female
reader, should not be +, writes (12 March 2009):
well, i don't know how old are you how do you look like but i want to be confidence, don't care with others say to you or gossip about your appearance. in my belief, the guy really want someone who can control their kids and live in a happiness family. so your characteristic is very importance than beauty. plus, may be it not your time, one day when he comes to you he will live with you in the rest of his life. some people have love at the young age are end with broken heart but if they have at the middle age their love last for ever so they don't know what is the pain of love. it is good. i wish i would be one of them.
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