A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 and when I was 13 I wanted a baby really badly. Well I got one and my daughter is just the love of my life. The father left but still helps fnancially, other than that I am supporting the baby fully on my own, so don't even start with any of that "we have to pay for your irresponsible having a baby with our tax dollars" crap! It sounds crazy but in my town you can have a job at my age and I have I good one. A nice old lady is letting me live above her for cheap andhelping her out by taking her grocery shopping and helping clean her house, stuff like that. I also plan to get my G.E.D and go to a trade school which I am currently saving for. Now that you fully understand my situation we have reached my problem: Lately I have had the extreme urge to have another child, with my current bf, who loves my daughter. He says he dreams about fathering my baby. Sould I do it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): No don't it seems that you are getting your life together at the moment and you should continue as you are for a few years. It'S oly been what? a year at most since you left your old boyfriend had a baby founda new boyfriend! Take it slow
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 I think you're right to wait for a while. You write in your post of how you are currently supporting you and your baby - well done - but you also write of your plans to further your education and enhance your job prospects in the future. In my opinion that's really smart - and you should do all that before you think about a sibling for your little one. I really don't think you'll regret it long term.
I don't know if there is any research on this, but my observation is that MANY women I know get extremely 'clucky' for baby number two when their little one is about 8-12 months old....I know I did! Anyway, I now have a 2 year old and he is keeping me very very busy...as well as that I am absolutely loving him at this age, and loving having the time I do to spend with him. I know you'd probably be a fab mum to two - but if you wait a while you can be a super fab mum (more one on one) with both!!!
Good luck - hope everything goes well!
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A
male
reader, andrew loves hali +, writes (3 March 2009):
 wait til you know you can support a family.
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A
male
reader, kllgunner +, writes (3 March 2009):
 yes your right wanting i kid is not stupid not at all as a matter of fact i want a kid very much but can not support a family yet so im going to wait but i take great joy in hearing you will wait good choice
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGoing Tthrough with it might have ben a dumb idea which I'm not going to do by the way. But wanting one is not dumb in the least. I can want in my heart whatever I want.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): so your not an idoit? but you have a baby and you want another when both you and the new daddy are high school drop outs? pretty dumb idea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have listened to your advice and I am not going to do it. I wil wait. But I feel compelled to say that you adults can stop reminding us 5 times over about the financial situtations. Do you seriously think that i haven't thought about that? Not all teens are idiots. By the by to "Steve S" the FATHER as he would have been called if if had decided to go along with it is 17 with a full time job. Clearly not under 16. Also to the anonymouse female reader, your answer was the best and most helpfulll one there. I'm pretty sure he'll stick around and that he is a keeper. No matter your answers, thanks to all. :) My baby is crying.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): no... u should wait... how do u think the baby gonna feel having a 15 year old mom. wait till u get older man.
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A
male
reader, kllgunner +, writes (2 March 2009):
no your still young and you have time let it sit for awhile and if u still feel that way in a while then do it but wait its the best thing to do.
-madly in love
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): No! Absolutely not!
Wait until you at least have your GED and preferably after you get a degree from a trade school. There is a lot more to think about being a parent then just food and shelter for the child. What about health insurance - doctor's appointments and dentists and the like? And what about child care? And what about your living situation? It would be a lot better for children if you had your own home (rent or own). A place to call theirs. And also, you have to think of your life too. You need all those things as well (health insurance etc). And if you are not taking care of yourself as well as you're taking care of your child(ren) then that will not benefit them in the long run.
If you work hard at school and learn a skill then you are sure to get a better job in a few years and be even more able to support another child. Remember - two children will double all the bills and the responsibility.
Sure your boyfriend may want to father your child and help out now, but I would be careful of that. Men are A LOT less mature than women at the same age and you want to make sure he'll stick around for a while before you have a child with him. If he waits with you for a few years then you know he's a keeper.
Please do not bring anymore children into this world unless you can take care of them AND yourself equally and to the fullest extent possible.
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