Should I leave them to fight it out amongst themselves?
Q. My sister, brother, their partners and myself and husband went on holiday in September together with our children. On the first day my brothers 2 year old daughter fell and ended up in hospital for two days. Anyway, when he came back from there he ...
A. 10 December 2007: Sadly to say, you'll probably end up with egg on your face if you try and mediate. The only thing you can really do is talk to each of them and offer a listening ear -- if you feel up to it. Be sure to let them know you're not going to take sides, ... (read in full...)
I feel like a big fat liar!
Q. i am so bourd of my boyfriend and i dont know how to break up with him and i am so not good in breaking up and now whene he tell me that he loves i tell him "me too" and i feel like one big fat laier so please tell me how to end this in a nice way ...
A. 10 December 2007: You're not a big fat liar, nor are you a bad person. It's very normal to want to avoid conflict or hurting someone that you care about. You care about him, but you don't love him & you don't want to hurt him.
Unfortunately, this will hurt him, but ... (read in full...)
15, pregnant, and my parents are angry with me. What should I do?
Q. I am 15 and pregnant. I am soooo scared but feel that with support i can do this. My boyfriend has just turned 18, he is my brothers friend. He says he will support me whatever happens, he has a good job and says he will do everything to support his ...
A. 10 December 2007: Your parents aren't seeing this guy as your child's father, and you all as a happy little family to be ... they're seeing him as a pervert who has knocked up their baby... and when you have your child you'll understand why this is.
Yes, it is ma... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this nightmare relationship?
Q. Im stuck in a hopeless 'relationship' with no way out and its making me feel so down. A few months ago i met a guy, we were chatting on the internet and decided to meet. After our first date though he text me and said he doesnt want a relation...
A. 10 December 2007: He's playing games with you... it's that simple. He wants to have his cake & eat it too -- and it comes down to your choice as to whether this will continue or not.
It's all about choices and, although it doesn't feel like it, you are actually hold... (read in full...)
Should I cut my losses with a guy that doesn't want to commit?
Q. Should I cut my losses? S and I have been dating for several months now. I'm 26, he's 31. We have fun together, we spend a lot of time together and I love him. We do have little quarrels but as a whole it is a great relationship. The only problem ...
A. 26 November 2007: Do keep in mind that you have been together for only a few months, and he may just not be sure about you yet. It took me months of reasearching to decide on a car... and that's just a car... a life partner & future co-parent to your children takes ... (read in full...)
How do I give a bj without gaging?
Q. How do I give my boyfriend a blowjob without gaging? I've tried it numorous times and I just can't get a comfortable position for it to go all the way down. Any suggestions for practice or technique? He's happy with how I do it, it's just something ...
A. 18 November 2007: One position you can try to prevent gagging is to have him lay on his back, and you positioned to the side (i.e. basically you're resting your cheek on his stomach).
You can also use your hand as well which will give him the same feeling of going... (read in full...)
Is it cheating when a wife exchanges expensive gifts and dates another man, even if they never had sex.
Q. A married woman dates a man who is not her husband and for Christmas gives him a gift of a Playstation and two games while accepting an expensive watch in return. She never had sex with this man, but has embraced him and seen him behind her ...
A. 18 November 2007: There is such thing as an emotional affair, which is sexless but the attraction and emotional side of it is present.
It's a tough one though, as it's a very thin line. It may be that they are really good friends, that have just clicked and, if he w... (read in full...)
The perfect guy still can't find a date
Q. I'm a smart, funny, attractive, modest, and friendly person. I love to be around people and make them happy. I never lose my temper, and respect other people's wishes. Why is it that (at 20 years old) I have still never been in a serious relation...
A. 18 November 2007: You're making an error of assumption - that having all correct attributes = relationship immediately following.
What you're missing is the fact that the right girl is out there, but timing is the key.
You've got to think of it like a series o... (read in full...)
How do I start the conversation?
Q. Argh! Going slightly mad here guys, hope someone can help me out a little. Asked on here a week or so ago if i should get in contact with a girl who i've seen around at uni, and also seen on the uni dating website. You guys agre...
A. 17 November 2007: The absolutely best advice I can give to you is this:
- stop thinking of her as a girl you like... instead think of her as a bloke.
Half your problem is that you're so freaked out about what to say because like her so much & want to impress ... (read in full...)
Should I have stuck around and fought for him
Q. Okay so basically I am best friends with my ex. And I am in love with him too. He told me he loves me and I believe him because we have so much history with eachother but now hes got a new girlfriend and has done for last 6 months. He says he loves ...
A. 17 November 2007: You did the right thing... not just for the other girl, but for you too.
What you've effectively done is removed yourself as a matter of convenience for him. I know you said his relationship with his new girlfriend was more convenience than any... (read in full...)
Loss of sexual desire in loving relationship. Why? Just because it's good doesn't make me want it the next time and feel even more turned off by his desire for me.
Q. I have completely lost interest in sex, I feel no desire and do not masturbate anymore. I'm 36, I am not on the pill and haven't been for a number of years. I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years and love him loads, he is respectful, ...
A. 16 November 2007: Mistify and I seem to be on the same page, and onto the same areas... and, as usual, I completely agree!
It is psychological in one sense, but it's also physical --- I'm not an expert by any means in this area, but my understanding is that whe... (read in full...)
Can someone tell me how to stop feeling the pain of breaking up?
Q. Hi Everyone I have now accepted that Myself and ex fiance will not get back together. However I am tortured with thoughts of my fiance meeting or being intimate with someone else. I know I should try to block these thoughts out, but I'm struggli...
A. 16 November 2007: Superdopah is absolutely correct... time is the healer, as well as good friends, tears {NECESSARY}, chocolate & good blend of soppy & funny videos to help you laugh & cry. And, one of the most important things to realise is that you WILL feel awful ... (read in full...)
Best methods to avoid pregnancy?
Q. What are the best methods to not get pregnent? What works the best?...
A. 16 November 2007: Abstinence is 100% guaranteed!! :) Failing that, condoms and contraceptives (like the pill) are generally very safe (97% and higher success rates if used correctly). There are also implant and semi-permanent methods, such as injections and I... (read in full...)
How do you have... an interesting personality? What puts off women on a date?
Q. i have often wondered what it s that puts off women when i want to go on a date with them. I realise now that it is because i am boring. what do i have to do to have an interesting personality?...
A. 16 November 2007: If you truly feel that you're "boring" to other people (generally), then what you're saying is that your range of interests / topics of discussion are very limited.
The most bored I've been around a particular person is when they've had one subj... (read in full...)
How can I seduce my boyfriend on his 18th birthday?
Q. Hello, I love your site and need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We are both seniors in high school. I am 19 years old and my boyfriend will soon turn 18. We are both virgins. We have talked abou...
A. 15 November 2007: Honestly, Lexi, the length of time you've taken to ask all the questions will probably be longer than the sex itself! :) I'm not making fun, but in all honesty, sex is not such an intellectualist event. It's basic & primal, and all of your concerns ... (read in full...)
Should I see a psycologist for my trust issues - or manage by myself? I feel guilty after I send him check-messages.
Q. hello i need some good advice please. I have a trust problem. I ve read some of the trust articles here and some had really good answers. well done. Im in a relationship which we love each other so much and we ve been together for a year and a ha...
A. 15 November 2007: What it really comes down to is this:
1. are you happy the way you are, with the way things are?
2. Is it your boyfriend that is giving you reason to distrust him - or is it your own views, regardless of what he does, that cause the distrust... (read in full...)
The possiblity to get pregnant varies in a month. Clarifications, please? Also, do you start taking the pills on the first day of the period?
Q. Hi I know that the possiblity to get pregnant varies in a month. Please can someone let me know when the chances are greater and when it is less so that i can take extra precaution. Also im wanting to go on the pill, is there a specific time th...
A. 15 November 2007: Your ovulation will vary depending on your cycle length... generally. You have to view ovulation as the epicentre to conception.
Sperm can live for up to 5 days, so you're in the "danger" zone for 5 days prior to your ovulation.
Then, the... (read in full...)
I have trouble consoling her. How can I get past this problem and support her like I should?
Q. Hiya have any of you males, or females had problems being able to console your partners when they are grieving or just generally upset esspecially when they are crying or is it just me? You see i don't see why i just can't be a sholder to cry on for ...
A. 14 November 2007: If you've not already read it, get the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" --- it's very good and covers this. Basically, men are very much about solutions and fixing things when there's a problem (e.g. Her: "I've had such a bad day"; ... (read in full...)
Such a dilemma! We agreed to keep the baby and now he's changed his mind.
Q. Im forced into having another abortion...Let me explain About 2 years ago i met this guy when i was 17 and fell in love with him. He was my first love and pretty much first everything even though Ive had boyfriends befre I didnt trust them the w...
A. 14 November 2007: If it really comes down to a choice of "one or the other", I say get rid of the boyfriend... the baby might 'destroy' your relationship, but in actuality, it won't... if your relationship falls apart because of the baby, it wasn't ever going to work ... (read in full...)
What is the meaning of life and the purpose of being a human?
Q. Everybody should has its dream,me too.However,I donot know what to do exactly.Sometimes ,I just want to go abroad to live a different life;and sometimes ,I don't know what to do at all.The feeling is so terrible.Do not want to do anything,even ...
A. 6 November 2007: Aristotle believed true happiness comes from achieving our exclusive purpose as human beings. He believed that plants, animals & humans have a nutritative soul; animals & humans have a perceptive soul; and that humans alone have a rational soul --- ... (read in full...)
I'm married, never cheated on my husband, and the tests reveal I'm HIV positive. How do I tell him this...?
Q. How can I handle my life? I'm 30 yrs old I have i'm married for 6 yrs now. i didn't have sex with other guys but when i tested my blood i'm positive with HIV, do you recommend to tell to my husband? He will kill himself and I belive him he didn'...
A. 6 November 2007: Please be aware that HIV is not the death sentence it once was. Now, there are a range of medications that will help your body cope with its immunity deficiencies caused by the virus.
I know there's still a stigma to HIV, but in reality, it is just... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant this way?
Q. I would like to become pregnant but my hubby won't cum inside, he says not now we are not ready but I am so I got him off with a blow job then let him cum in my hand then I went in the bathroom in put it in my vagina. Can I get pregnant like that? ...
A. 6 November 2007: Yes...physically you can.
It's also a good way to get divorced. ... (read in full...)
We are planning to sleep together, but I am afraid I am too inexperienced!
Q. Hi, i am 16 years old and i am worried because my boyfriend that i am with now we havent slept together, and we are plannin on sleeping together and i dont know how to give a blow job and i need as much advice as i can. can you help please? ...
A. 6 November 2007: Sex and its associated acts come more naturally than what you think, so don't freak out about it. And even if it doesn't, and you're in a good relationship, you'll communicate & tell each other what you like. Tell HIM that you've not ever done that ... (read in full...)
I want to be an early mother.
Q. k, i'm 15 and soon to be 16 and i have given it alot of thought i want to find the right person for me and be and early mother, i want to graduate before haveing the child though, but i need help finding the right guy. i just feel like ive always ...
A. 6 November 2007: I have a friend who has always known that motherhood is what she wanted to do, and that's what she has done, and she is very happy with that! If that's what you truly want, and that's your calling, then that's what you should do.
BUT, be sure you ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband while he's away at war, but now I want to fix it!
Q. Well this situation is pretty sorted. I feel like the most terrible person in the world. I cheated on my husband while he's away at war! What kind of person does that???? Anyway, here's my situation. Thanks for reading. My husband went away to Afg...
A. 18 October 2007: I'm confused as to why you'd want to stay friends with "Ben" --- he does not sound like much of a friend at all... if a female treated you like this, would you stay friends??
Get Ben out of your life -- that's the first thing to do. Get him out ... (read in full...)
I'm so discusted with the though that I was with my ex for 5 years. Has anyone else felt this way?
Q. I was with my ex for 5 years. I was totaly head over heels the first year or so. But I guess his true colors shone through over the years and now he is everything I hate. I am mad at myself for being with him. When I think about how I had sex with ...
A. 18 October 2007: Relationships are one of the best teaching devices there are... they teach us all about ourselves. Don't be disgusted. Instead use the experience to realise that you've learnt some very big lessons on what you do and don't want in a partner. You can ... (read in full...)
I really like a boy but I think he likes my best friend what should I do?
Q. dear cupid, i really like a boy but i think he likes my best friend what should i do? ...
A. 16 October 2007: Two words: female intuition.
Females are very perceptive when it comes to these things -- if you think he likes your friend, he probably does.
You don't say how well you know this guy -- is he a friend too?
If yes, you can just keep being ... (read in full...)
I feel I have to choose between my daughters happiness or my life!
Q. Hello... I have been with my partner for almost 4 years...we have a 2 year old daughter together. In August 2006 my partner, his friend Paul and I went out for the night clubbing in Bournemouth. The drinks were flowing and by the end of the night...
A. 26 September 2007: The two aren't mutually exclusive... it's not a choice of your daughter's happiness vs yours. What you have to remember is that when it comes to relationships, you are your daughter's teacher. Do you want her to see that it's right or acceptable to ... (read in full...)
I want to know how to make my boyfriend fall back in love with me with in a day!
Q. i want to know how to make my boyfriend fall back in love with me with in a day because he started being friends with this other girl and they went out about three to four times and he said its my fault because we are always fighting so please let ...
A. 26 September 2007: For a start, don't chase after him! Let him go & if he comes back to you, he's worth having. If not, no amount of begging or convincing him to love you will change his mind!
Just be aware that it's not your fault that he's decided to go with some... (read in full...)
I'm fighting a battle that is long since lost. What can I do?? I love her so much, and I can't have her!
Q. I recently posted a question regarding my feelings after my girlfriend broke up with me, due to her going away to study at University, and didn't think she'd have time for 'us'. She is studying far away, and our realtionship was long distance in...
A. 26 September 2007: That is such a hard thing you're going through & I truly feel for you.
A couple of things you can do for yourself:
1. Realise that heartbreak is called heartbreak for a reason - because it does feel like you're heart is actually ripping in two. It ... (read in full...)
Since he was abusive with me, does that mean he'll be abusive to his next girlfriend?
Q. If my ex boyfriend was kind of abusive with me and emotionaly unavailable Will he be the same way with his next girlfriend or should I blame it on me? Sometimes I feel I taught him things he didn't know before I was his girl, and now those things ...
A. 26 September 2007: As 'unfair' as it may seem - that's exactly how relationships work. More specifically, that's how human behaviour works - we learn with each interaction and each experience ... and grow from it. It's the same as going to school - you start off ... (read in full...)
She took advantage of my fiance's good nature, and I even told him to watch out for her! Should I be upset w/ him?
Q. There's this girl who I used to be friends with. I stopped talking to her really b/c she started being a big slut, and trying to get with every guy she saw, including her best friend's live in b.f. She's also an alcoholic and pathological liar. She ...
A. 13 September 2007: The funny thing is that you're mad at him when he only met her that day & just gave her the $2.00 because he's not good at lying & also to get away from her.
Yet you've known her for a while - you know exactly what she is & what she does, yet you ... (read in full...)
I think going on holiday with a load of lads is a single thing to do, should I be worried?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend about 3 years and a half and he now wants to go on holiday with a load of lads from work. i dont feel comfortable with this and have told him so but he keeps saying im controlling him but im not. i'm just paranoid that ...
A. 13 September 2007: A couple go to a marriage counsellor. The husband says "my wife always squeezes toothpaste from the top & it drives me nuts but she doesn't seem to care."
The wife says "well, he always squeezes it from the bottom & that drives me nuts but he does... (read in full...)
Would getting in shape and getting a job make me more attractive?
Q. Looking for a womans advice here... I'm not in the best of shape (I'm not fat, but I ama bit above average), and I'm unemployed atm, I was wondering if I would appear more attractive to women if I got into bettr shape and landed myself a job. ...
A. 13 September 2007: Put it this way: when a woman wakes up in the morning, she's not thinking "gee, I hope I meet a guy today that hasn't got any drive to take care of himself."
Women want a man who will take care of himself & has the initiative to make his life the... (read in full...)
How much does weight factor in for a woman's attractiveness to a man?
Q. How much does weight factor in for a woman's attractiveness to a man? Are there women out there that are attracted to big men? Or is this the end all deciding factor against a man finding an attractive woman? ...
A. 13 September 2007: I don't think there's an answer to that one as "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and what's attractive to one person may not be attractive to another.
For example, I personally am not into Brad Pitt but I know a lot of women think he's the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me without giving a reason and now ignores me, and I have a hard time at the job. Help.
Q. my life is a complete mess right now and i dont know how to get out of it. i just started a new job in a care home about 4 weeks ago and its taking me a while to get the hang of it and everyone else is frustrated cause i make silly mistakes like ...
A. 12 September 2007: I'm so sorry about what you're going through at the moment.
But do you know what I see from reading what you wrote? Someone who has had pretty much the two most stressful situations you can have (new job + breakup) thrown at them in the one hit ... (read in full...)
My 17 yr old boyfriend has dumped me and I've been staying off school and started smoking. How do I get over him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend nearly 7 months. I really love him. Im 16 and he's 17. The past week or so he's been acting very weird and it seemed like he was avoiding me. This was very usual as he's normally quite clingy. We havent argued or ...
A. 12 September 2007: Firstly, get rid of the cigarettes... no matter what kind of day you're having, they'll never make it better.
I started smoking at 16 and if there was one thing I could wish for it would be a time-machine to go back & slap that cigarette fair out ... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling guilty for cheating on my girlfriend?
Q. I have cheated on my girlfriend after 3years of being together, i kissed another girl. Can anyone help me get rid of the guilt that continuosly pesters me every second and every hour. Im struggling to forgive myself and it is affecting my ...
A. 12 September 2007: Guilt = regret.
Guilt is not necessarily a bad thing because it lets you know that it's not a choice you want to repeat... it helps you learn.
So now you have to accept that you did the wrong thing, but realise it's over now - it's in the past!... (read in full...)
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