A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a smart, funny, attractive, modest, and friendly person. I love to be around people and make them happy. I never lose my temper, and respect other people's wishes.Why is it that (at 20 years old) I have still never been in a serious relationship? I used to attribute it to my shy personality; however, I've recently become more confident. Flirting is no longer an impossibility for me, but I still feel that I come off as awkward around new people. And, as many times as I've tried to ask out girls who I think are interested in me, they always end up being uninterested.I'm all out of ideas. What am I doing wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I'm going to give it another shot. Wish me luck!
A
female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 Hi Anon, I would date you :D. if I wasnt married :(.
Anyway, seriously. Do you make the women you like feel special? Order a bunch of flowers, ask them to be delivered at said girls desk in the middle of work. Lean over them if they ask for help. place a hand on there arm when speaking to them.
Once you have the 'let her know your interested' down, you need to learn the 'move in' part.
If you feel too shy to ask directly, then try things like, leaving a note where they will see it, asking them out to a restaurant, tell them to reply in any form they like. Or send a paper aeroplane sailing in their direction with the same sort of note on. You may be surprised at the response.
Women like to be romanced and made to feel extra special, they love imagination on the guys part, and a little of the 'james bond' style secrecy never hurt either ;)
Just remember, persistancy is the key, if a girl sys no the first time, doesnt mean she will the second or even third time. we women are a strange sort, but if you keep up the wine and dine act, you couldnt possably fail. then when they get to know you personally, if you really are as great as yo think, then you will have her hooked.
Hope that all made sense and gave you some ideas.
Take care and good luck xxxx
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A
female
reader, MonDoc  +, writes (18 November 2007):
You're making an error of assumption - that having all correct attributes = relationship immediately following.
What you're missing is the fact that the right girl is out there, but timing is the key.
You've got to think of it like a series of streams... she's running her path at the moment, doing what she's doing, and you are too. You're two streams running side by side & at some point, unknown to either of you as to when it will be, your paths will cross. It might be that she's got things she's got to do first in order to be ready for you!
Be patient. It will happen... it always does.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (18 November 2007):
 Don't sell yourself short.
What may be happening here is that they are waiting to see if you are going to carry the ball farther.
When I was your age I didn't think of myself any more attractive than the average guy and I thought I was terribly shy.
However, my brother is quick to point out that it seemed I always had a girl on each arm.
I didn't realize I did until I thought about it, and I guess I did.
But, what caused that I realized was I did not look for my own interests around girls but I alway did things for them because of my kind nature.
I would open doors for them, tell them how nice they looked, mention how nice I thought their hair looked.
It does seem that the girls flocked to me without me trying to persue them. They like to be noticed and made to feel good and that is the way I did it. Give it a try. Doc
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