A
male
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*imr
writes:Hi EveryoneI have now accepted that Myself and ex fiance will not get back together. However I am tortured with thoughts of my fiance meeting or being intimate with someone else. I know I should try to block these thoughts out, but I'm struggling to find activities or things to do to take my mind off it all and her. We broke up a month ago, but tried to date a fortnight ago until my ex abruptly killed it off last Sunday night.I shouldn't have agreed to go on a date with her as al of the feelings I innitially had a month ago have resurfaced and even worse this time around. Can someone give me hint or tips on how to try to move on and forget this difficult time and the emotional pain I'm going through.
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female
reader, LOVAJL  +, writes (25 March 2009):
I've been in a relationship for 13 years. I have an 11 year old son by this man, he has put me through a lot. he's cheated, I forgave him. I've always done everything for him. He decided about a month ago he no longer wants to be with me, he says he needs to learn how to be a better man for his family but yet he keeps partying. I'm confused! I think he's just telling me that. I'm trying to learn how to get over him but it hurst so much. Do you think he's found someone else? He says no but I am beginning to think differently.
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male
reader, maurice230  +, writes (23 December 2008):
Do you remeber that time in your life when you wanted something and really put in all to achieve it .. like when you wanted to be in a college you dreamt of and toiled night and day for it but didnt get through
or the sports trophy you practiced like worshiping and still lost it .. it ached each of those times .. leaving you in shackles, depressed
But we got out of it .. by aiming for something else .. by changing our focus on something else .. by putting a heart again for some other goal
That what is required ... cannot let go of putting your heart on the line ... you'll have to each time .. but chanellise your focus and energies on some other task ... preferable something higher like education , career ..
If you get into a relationship giving your heart each time then you will be wrecked .. heart is to be put for higher goals .. rest just let the time decide for you
Immediate tips: stopping seeing the girl totally and join a gym (let the endorphins the weight training gives you bring your focus back). And do not block/fend her thoughts, let it be natural .. dont force her in .. dont force her out !!!
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 March 2008):
 Time is a great healer.
Go out with your friends and enjoy their company's.
Get back into the sane world.
Go exercise for this can take your mind of the problems.
You will be tired after your exercise and you will sleep
better and will be more fresh the next day.
In time , you will slowly returned back to normal again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): I am going through this now. The physical pain is horrible and can't be escaped. I am on two antidepressants and I know I will forget him soon and things will get better but we were soul mates in what I thought was in every way. But it was all in my head evidently.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Im going through the same thing right now and a lot have people have told me the same thing, time heals all, im listening to a lot of songs more carefully and even they same the same thing!! Im not sure exactly what time does to heal the emotions that seem overwhelming but I can somehow feel it working. I feel for you man, and thanks for the advice from the other people on this page, it makes a lot of sense and a lot of what they are saying is true, I honestly keep thinking I am the only person who has, and will ever go through something like this, but it seems there are a lot of people who go through the same thing, and although it is horrible for them, there is definatly a sense of comfort knowing other people go through the same feelings...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): You need to completely cut yourself off from your ex, her friends, her hangouts, everything. Get to know your family a little better, sometimes they're the only ones who can help, after all, they will be your family forever!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): hi friend i think i get you.You cant be without her you are soul mates.swallow your pride and ego and go back to her.It is your only remedy.
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female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (16 November 2007):
 You need time! Even if you do find someone else right now, you still wont feel quiete right and that may cause further problems with someone else. The best thing you can do is spend some time with your friends, family, and by yourself too. Go out and have fun even if you have to make yourself. This will help you think things through and get over your ex. Did you two have any problems? Think about why it didnt work and think that about why it is for the best. Someone that loves and cherishes you would not walk out on you on the drop of a dime. So perhaps your breakup is a blessing. It may have saved you heartache down the road.
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female
reader, MonDoc  +, writes (16 November 2007):
Superdopah is absolutely correct... time is the healer, as well as good friends, tears {NECESSARY}, chocolate & good blend of soppy & funny videos to help you laugh & cry. And, one of the most important things to realise is that you WILL feel awful and you are not alone!! You will feel that you are in a unique position, but you are not... thousands upon thousands of people feel the same pain you do every single day, going thru the same thing. And you do heal. You will. It will take time, but do be prepared for feeling like hell for a while yet... I think if you know it's coming, and that it's normal, it's easier as/when it hits.
AND you WILL find love again, even though that's the furtherest thing from your mind at the moment. Did you know that there is NOTHING in nature that is a one-off event? Love is not a one-off! Nothing ever is. The only thing is that, at the moment, you cannot see the why ... why you were with him, only for it to not work.
You'll be sad, you'll be angry, you'll go thru denial & blame (all stages of grief). In the end though, there is acceptance. Throughout all the other stages you'll be debating the validity & reasons for your relationship (the good & bad)... it's at the acceptance stage that you'll actually learn from it.
Relationships that don't work, although painful, are MEANT to happen for a reason - I believe relationships are like the belief of reincarnation. I personally don't believe in reincarnation, but the theory of it is (as I understand it) that you live each life in order to learn something fundamental, and then you move on to the next until you reach ultimate enlightment, at which point you go to paradise, truly enlightened. Same thing with relationships -- each is meant to teach you something about what you & you in a relationship --- what you like, don't like, will accept, won't accept, so that when you decide to make the ultimate lifetime commitment of marriage & family etc.. you've synthesised your choice down to the best chance of success.
I don't know if this helps, but try and realise that you will feel bad, then worse, and ultimately better.
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male
reader, ed3112 +, writes (16 November 2007):
I know exactly how you feel my friend. My partner of 5 years said she didn't love me anymore last month and left just like that. I can absolutely say that there were no signs and we were a very happy, loving couple. Turns out she's now seeing someone else already and I'm racked with pain and jealousy.Hopefully there is someone else out there who has got througha similar situation and can practically help us out.
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female
reader, superdopah +, writes (16 November 2007):
time is the only thing that can heal a broken heart. i think that you should completley cut yourself off from your ex fiance, how can you get over someone who you always see?
i hope you do get over this and find happiness
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