A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i want to know how to make my boyfriend fall back in love with me with in a day because he started being friends with this other girl and they went out about three to four times and he said its my fault because we are always fighting so please let me know how to make him love me and me only. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 I agree with Basschick, but would like to add that; maybe you should be a little more realistic. Love takes time, and it isn't something you can force on people. To expect somebody to start loving you again within a day isn't a reasonable target. In fact, setting a target in the game of love is a bad idea full stop.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 Maybe you should look at the reasons you were always fighting and admit that you were wrong for each other.
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A
female
reader, MonDoc +, writes (26 September 2007):
For a start, don't chase after him! Let him go & if he comes back to you, he's worth having. If not, no amount of begging or convincing him to love you will change his mind!
Just be aware that it's not your fault that he's decided to go with someone else -- that's his choice & he needs to take responsibility as a fight doesn't happen on its own - it takes two to argue. If he was truly unhappy, he should have talked to you, not gone off with some other girl, so that's a failing on his part. Don't let him convince you that his acts are your fault. That's what men who hit women do - tell the woman she made him so angry that she made him hit her. No - hitting someone is a choice. Same thing here - cheating is a choice.
He obviously has no respect for you, so I suggest being VERY unavailable and letting him work to impress you. Also, if you do decide to start again with each other, work on your communication skills & let each other know when you're unhappy & why & what you'd like to change so it doesn't end up in a fight each time.
Fighting in a couple shouldn't be about winning... it should be a discussion as to what you want & need and a discussion on how to achieve it. There is a lot of literature (on-line & in book format) that deals with good communication in a relationship. Perhaps you could talk to him about reading something together, or going to counselling?
I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do.
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