A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so basically I am best friends with my ex. And I am in love with him too. He told me he loves me and I believe him because we have so much history with eachother but now hes got a new girlfriend and has done for last 6 months. He says he loves me but when his feelings get too strong he has to stop himself because hes with his new girlfriend. Well I moved away recently and the past few times we've seen we've almost kissed.. several times, but i keep stopping him because its wrong on his girlfriend (who has no idea). So yesterday I did made brave move of cutting him out my life once and for all.. but it is so hard. Did I do the right thing? Or should I have stuck around and fought for him? For I am convinced he likes me more than his current girlfriend, and their relationship is for convenience more than anything. I just need reassurance that what I did was right I guess.
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female
reader, MonDoc  +, writes (17 November 2007):
You did the right thing... not just for the other girl, but for you too.
What you've effectively done is removed yourself as a matter of convenience for him. I know you said his relationship with his new girlfriend was more convenience than anything... but he's choosing to be with her. You are the convenient part for him - there, dangling & waiting around, whenever he wants you. You've made a stand for yourself, without really even knowing it. You've shown him that you're better than that.
Now, he'll need to make a decision. And, at least, if he ends it with this other girl & wants to be with you, it'll be a solid decision he's made, one that you won't ever need to feel guilty about. And he'll respect you more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): You did the right thing....You need to always respect other people's relationships when so many don't it will set you apart in your ex's eyes as someone with principals and morals, and when their relationship is done for, he may look you up, but I would not wait around....he has clearly moved on and you kissing him is just toying with his heart strings....leave the two of them alone and just see how it plays out.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 You did the right thing. Trust me, you don't need the guilt.
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