A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Argh!Going slightly mad here guys, hope someone can help me out a little.Asked on here a week or so ago if i should get in contact with a girl who i've seen around at uni, and also seen on the uni dating website. You guys agreed with my thinking of i should, but the problem is i haven't got a clue how to start the message to her!I know a couple of things i'd like to say but i just don't know how the open the message without it seeming too 'stalker-ish'.I'm not one for cracking jokes or anything, that just isn't me, so don't want to do anything false.I'm never any good at these things so a couple words of advice would be of much help.The Dude Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 Why don't you ask her a question about herself then when she replies she can ask you one. That way you're getting to know more about one another. Here's some questions to start you off...
1. What do you like to do when you're not working?
2. Where in the world would you most like to visit?
3. Are you interested in sport... if so what sport?
4. What do you look for in your ideal partner?
5. What really turns you off?
6. What really turns you ON!
7. Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?
8. (Apart from me...) are you an animal lover?
9. What is your favourite food?
10. Are you close to your family?
11. What is the first thing you look at in a man?
12. Where do you go to socialise?
13. What's your favourite drink?
14. What's your favourite meal?
15. Where would you choose to go on that ideal date?
16. Are you a morning or a night time person?
17. Do you like to entertain and give parties?
18. What's your dream car?
19. Do you like to keep up to date with the news and current affairs?
20. Would you like to go out on a date with me?
~Eve~
A
female
reader, Quanykno1  +, writes (6 March 2008):
Well first of all let start by saying be yourself...
Second you should think long and hard about what kind of relations or relationship you want with her and let her know that you not trying to be stalk-ish just let her know you interested.
I can't stress this enough do not message constantly you have to let her know that you have no stalkish tendencies with that said you should message her something like... Hey How you doing and also give a compliment.
There's nothing wrong with opening up to someone just dont do it too early it could push them away and try to find something you have in common with her. And focus on some her thoughts and hobbies and what she likes...
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A
female
reader, MonDoc +, writes (17 November 2007):
The absolutely best advice I can give to you is this:
- stop thinking of her as a girl you like... instead think of her as a bloke.
Half your problem is that you're so freaked out about what to say because like her so much & want to impress her. Take that OUT of the equation. Think of how you would approach her if you weren't interested in her --- to go to the extreme on this line of thinking, don't even picture her as a girl. Instead, think of how you would approach another guy to just have a casual chat. Then it doesn't matter what you actually say, because you'll be calm, and it'll just flow.
If you've never had any kind of contact with her before, my secondary advice would be to do it in stages.... smile at her as you pass her one time, smile & say "hi" the next time, and progress from there... eventually, you'll just build a comfortable flow. This happened to me when I was studying... I'd have guys come and do the full-on approach & it was always uncomfortable, while another guy (who later told me it was deliberate) did just the opposite & what I've suggested. After a few weeks, we were chatting like old friends and that's when we started going out!
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