A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend nearly 7 months. I really love him. Im 16 and he's 17. The past week or so he's been acting very weird and it seemed like he was avoiding me. This was very usual as he's normally quite clingy. We havent argued or anything, things have been pretty good.Out of the blue a few days ago he text me saying: I want a break dont try contacting me.I need to clear my head. Do whatever with whoever. I'll be in touch DNt tb xxI left him for a bit but then he came online. I tried talking to him and saying i wanted to help him get through what ever is going on. He told me to leave him alone and stop feeling sorry for myself, have some fun without me he said.He's recently started college, im in my final year at school.This morning i noticed he's completly changed his profile. It doesnt say Taken any more, instead it says college girls are hot!! He's taken the picture down of me and him. He also has been contacting some girl, who i think goes to his college saying yesterday was good meet me today? Im in a pretty bad way about all this. I've been crying alot and having time off school. I bought a packet of cigarettes when i dont normally smoke.He expects me to wait around, but am i just a back up in case theres no1 at college? My mates tell me to move on but i cant. HELP!! :(
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female
reader, pwincess +, writes (14 September 2007):
 Hey!
I started smoking when I was 12 and i really regeret it now! i am only 15 and you probly think that i am to young to understand but i have just come out of a seriouse relationship and i am gutted now i go from 10 fags a day to 20 but all i am saying is quit while you ahead when you first start smoking it is easyier to quit! get over the boy I am over mine it only took me a few months but i am now happy and singal for now!
A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (12 September 2007):
 hi hun, i know that it is painful but i think you need to move on. you really dont want to hear this and i understand that, but it sounds like he's moving on and is interested in this other girl that goes to college with him.
The way he broke up with you was cruel. He did that because he didnt want to deal with your emotions or to face any questions from you about what the hell he was doing. He's obviously not very mature and not capable of dealing with a relationship. You deserve better than this.
Believe me, i'm going through a break up myself and i KNOW that it is hard and it feels like the world is ending. You want so much for him to come back and to make him see how much it hurts and how much you want to be with him but you cannot make someone do something they dont want to do.
Someone on here gave me excellent advice yesterday and recommended a hypnotherapy download to me and im not saying its a miracle cure but it will help you to understand your feelings and emotions and it certainly cleared my head and helped me feel like i could move on and get over him.
you can get it at hypnos.info for about £10 or if you want you can email me and i'll send you a copy.
and dont start smoking! you WILL regret it. Any smoker will tell you they wish they had not started, imagine the regret when you look back and remember you started this filthy, disgusting, dangerous habit because of an idiot like your ex! hes hurt you enough - dont let him be the cause of anymore damage to you
best of luck xx
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A
female
reader, MonDoc  +, writes (12 September 2007):
Firstly, get rid of the cigarettes... no matter what kind of day you're having, they'll never make it better.
I started smoking at 16 and if there was one thing I could wish for it would be a time-machine to go back & slap that cigarette fair out of my mouth.
'Nuff said on that!!
Secondly, best thing you can do with your guy is walk away. Seriously. If he's even got an inkling of coming back to you, it'll be your being elusive that'll do it.
Before I had a profile, I posted an answer anonymously that is the same for this situation. A very wise friend once told me: "men are like dogs - if you run at a dog, it'll run away; if you run away from a dog, it'll chase you."
It's so, so true.
Get yourself back on your feet - there's a saying "fake it 'til you make it". Tell yourself he's coming back if that's what it takes for now to get yourself back & focussed on your responsibilities.
If it turns out he doesn't, have a cry & chat to your friends (or online here) about how you're feeling but realise that no matter what, you will get past this!
They call it heartbreak because it literally feels like your heart is breaking - but we're a tough species & we survive it... heartbreak won't kill you, but it will make you stronger.
Your schooling is the most important thing, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. If it turns out that you guys don't get back together, at least you've handled your loss responsibly - you've not allowed your feelings to interfere with your responsibilities [this is something you'll have to develop in the workforce]. If you DO get back together, he'll see that you're not someone that'll fall apart without him & he'll respect you more.
Best thing now is to just give him that space. Don't text, don't message him online, don't call... nothing. Think of the dog analogy (above). You let him come back to you (if he's going to) in HIS time. By that time, you may not even want him anymore anyway but at least that'll be your decision then.
I sincerely wish you all the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): I know it is painful, but your boyfriend, or ex is not asking you to wait around for him, he is moving on, he is going to college, and he knows that he will be away from you and there are a lot of girls that he will be interested in getting to know and dating...that is part of college life, and in my opinion one you should not miss.
I think you need to consider that this relationship is over and you need to move on. You would do best to not pick up the habit of smoking, and why would you do such a stupid thing? Why not just drink some poison, as this will age you, and put you at risk of becoming addicted and starting this young you will most definately get cancer down the road, that and smoking puts women in particular at a very high risk of cardio vascular disease, i.e. heart attack....think of your future and throw the cigs away.
There are better ways to deal with your negative feelings about this, go excercise, get a makeover, rent a sad movie and cry, talk to your girlfriends until they are sick of hearing you talk, have some fun!
You are a young vibrant woman, so why would you let one dumb guy who is playing the dating game make you feel bad? In less than 2 months you could be dating the next guy and the next. You probably don't even really know yet what type of guy really makes you happy to be around, so get out there and do your homework.....and focus on achieving some of your own personal goals. Men like interesting women, so get yourself an exciting life!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbtw eventho it says he is my ex i wouldnt consider him my ex i think he just needs a bit of space n then he will come back. But maybe thats wishful thinking, he said he would be in touch.
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