Can you cheat in an open relationship?
Q. So I've been in a long term relationship with my partner for the past 9 years. We talk about having children one day and getting married and we already own a home together. We have an extremely happy and healthy relationship and are very open and ...
A. 15 August 2014: I would say that if you aren't honest with your partner, in this relationship, then technically you ARE 'cheating'.
I would say it is perfectly reasonable for you to tell your partner that you would like to be accorded the freedom to choose t... (read in full...)
I have herpes and had sex with my friend, he says he feels burning down there and is going to the doctor. Does anyone have experience with this?
Q. My bestfriend and I have been best friends for 3 years. Recently we've found out we have these new found love feelings does eachother. I have genital herpes. He's known since the day I found out in June. He's my best friend so of course I told him. ...
A. 15 August 2014: First off, why did you have unprotected penetrative sex (this is to both of you btw)even knowing that you have herpes? Even if you weren't having a breakout it is still risky. Does he have unprotected sex with other people? If so, he could hav... (read in full...)
Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?
Q. Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...
A. 29 July 2014: I wouldn't be 'OK' about this, but I WOULD do it in order to be the better person here.
If you make an issue about this, it WILL come back and bite you in the backside later down the line when you have an argument, and it could have deeper r... (read in full...)
I don't know how to find out what is bothering him! He won't talk!
Q. I've been with my current bf for nearly 4 years and we've always had great fun together and I know we both feel very strongly about eachother. We moved in together in December and everything has been great, up until three days ago. He came back f...
A. 29 July 2014: Umm, I just read your original post, and then your follow-up. To be brutally honest, it sounds as though he either got together with someone on his night out, feels guilty and has withdrawn because of that, or got together with someone and DOESN'T ... (read in full...)
Is there any point in pursing a relationship? Does he fancy me or not?
Q. I met this guy about three months ago. We got along so well, straight off the bat, and we've both admitted to each other, that we find the other hot. We used to flirt all the time, but whenever the conversation got deeper, he shut off. He even ...
A. 27 July 2014: Could he be in a committed relationship and, while he probably does fancy the pants off you, doesn't feel as though it could be anything more than a friendship?
The whole sharing a bed thing sounds like a code for 'shagging the bejeesus out of e... (read in full...)
I want to catch this guy's attention!
Q. This good looking guy moved into my building about a month ago. A couple of weeks back, we arrived at home at the same time. We park diagonally across from each other. He was ahead of me by about 10 meters, but turned to look behind him. He n...
A. 27 July 2014: I know this isn't going to do your ego any good, but I have to agree with the others who have said he probably just isn't interested.
It doesn't really matter why he isn't, you simply don't feature on his radar.
I would continue to than... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife that I'm considering a visit to see a prostitute?
Q. Yes, this is a weird question to ask. However, my wife of 20 years will not have sex with me and has not for more than 10 years. It is something we have talked about many, many times but nothing ever changes. She doesn't want to divorce me and I...
A. 27 July 2014: I think you should tell her, but be prepared for any sort of 'fall out', including a demand for a divorce.
If you do follow through, don't forget to use protection - for your sake if nothing else.... (read in full...)
I want a relationship but I cant even talk to girls!
Q. I'm desperate for a relationship and need help. Every time I fall for a girl I'm friend zoned. I'm not necessarily good at talking to girls at first and I am always kind of pushed into talking to a girl. I can't even start a decent conversation ...
A. 27 July 2014: Believe me - being that regular guy is a lot more important than being that guy you date for a couple of months, finish with and never speak to again. Keep being friends, keep enjoy BEING friends and you will get used to talking with, and being ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'll be intruding on private family grief!
Q. My girlfriend granddad is dying in hospital. She wants me to take time off work to be with her and her family in the hospital. I'm happy to do so and so are work but i'm not sure if should just leave it as it's a family thing. Her cousin's b...
A. 27 July 2014: Your girlfriend asking for support is important, but I can understand your reluctance to impose yourself on a very difficult family time. Perhaps, if you see the rest of her family on a regular basis, you could call her parents and ask for their ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to get this relationship back on track?
Q. I met a woman on a dating site and we hit it off so well we that we took our conversations offline and started texting. After a week she deleted her account on the dating site and I just never bothered with mine again. After 2 weeks we had arr...
A. 27 July 2014: It never was on track, tbh. She probably did like you, but wasn't interested in anything other than a casual friendship. How did you find her new profile, because if you were actively looking at profiles then it doesn't really look as though y... (read in full...)
I am concerned about my job ..... should I mention it to my boss?
Q. Hi I am just looking for advice or suggestions- I recently found out that my boss (I am a nanny working in the UK) has just put their house on the market (no sign outside of house) but I saw it in the agency that it is selling with- how do I g...
A. 27 July 2014: I would be of the opinion that your employer's decision to sell the house DOES affect you and is your business, as it could mean the end of your job (depending on the circumstances of the move). It is even more important if you live in with them. ... (read in full...)
I have to tell him I am moving, but I'm worried he might see it as a big complication!
Q. I apologise in advance for the long post. I've been dating this guy for about a month now, and things seem to be working out fine. We haven't yet defined what the relationship is, and I'm afraid of asking, because I don't want to seem desperat...
A. 27 July 2014: He knows you are at college? I would imagine if you met through common friends that they will have said you are at college, and he would surely have an idea about dates, etc., even if it is in a detached sort of way. Anyway - you tell him. Apolo... (read in full...)
All of a sudden I have an urge to change my appearance ....
Q. Hi..so I am a relatively not girly person. I don't like wearing skirts or dresses and wear baggy t shirts. I usually have thick eyeliner and my hair is pixie cut short, almost boyish cut. But suddenly out of nowhere I am feeling the uncontrollable ...
A. 27 July 2014: Experimenting is part of what it is to be human; I'm 43 and I got my first tattoo last year! Before that I went through a piercings stage. Some days I am 'girly', and others I am very tomboyinsh. It all depends on the mood I'm in!!
It is diffi... (read in full...)
Did I miss the boat? Should I reply to his message brushing me off?
Q. I'm not sure what to do about this. I contacted a guy last night. I only met him once and it was a while ago. I had a night out with a friend and I met him then. I sent a friend request last night and sent him a message just asking if he remembered ...
A. 26 July 2014: Yeah, you missed the boat. Move on.... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my mate, but don't want to ruin the friendship!
Q. I have strong feelings for my mate and he doesnt know and I don't know if he feels the same should I tell him yes or no if yes should I tell him over internet or face to face I don't want things to be awquard or weird and most of all I don't wanna ...
A. 26 July 2014: Is he straight? Is he in a relationship? How long have you known him? Is in prison? Does he do drugs?
What is YOUR situation in life?
More details needed before any opinions can be offered.... (read in full...)
He seldom tries to see me but he's left stuff at my place ...
Q. Im so confused my partner moved due to work in November last yr and this year ive seen him 4 times only for a day never over night, ive asked him many of times if he wanted to b with me or if he liked somebody else or was even with anyone else hes ...
A. 26 July 2014: Errrm he isn't your partner, he's a (not very good) friend who keeps some of his stuff (and VERY odd stuff at that) a your place.
I agree that you need to get him out fo there and move on.... (read in full...)
He left me, I moved on, now he wants me back!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles Here's my problem...my partner broke up with me six weeks ago after three years. I was upset but the spark in our relationship had disappeared long ago and so I was happy to move out. I missed him for a couple of weeks...
A. 26 July 2014: He got in touch with you AFTER he heard you are seeing someone else, and then he gave you "a load of abuse"???
And HE asked you to leave????
He's shown he was only bothered because you were seeing someone else and then is nasty about it and you... (read in full...)
I'd like to give him oral but I'm not so sure about his hygiene
Q. I want to give my new boyfriend, of 4 months, oral sex, but I've noticed an off smell down there, and I think it's due to him not washing himself properly under his foreskin area. The other guys I have been with in the past haven't had the ...
A. 26 July 2014: If you want to go down on him, why don't you make a big thing of washing him ALL over, so he is shiny and clean for you?
Quite a few men love the idea of being washed by 'their' woman, and consider it a major turn on.
Even if he isn't that bo... (read in full...)
Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new?
Q. I got a question, i'm a gay guy and I love straight men, especially buff or frat guys. I can't get enough of them. Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new? ...
A. 26 July 2014: Considering your purported age, I am surprised you are even asking this question.
I'm calling BS question here.... (read in full...)
Married man begged to make me stay. What should I do?
Q. Okay, so here goes. I'm 31, been single for a few weeks now, dated a 34-year-old man for about a month, until I then realized he was married. We met in a local bar I drink at often, he was there with some friends, we got talking, it was a fun even...
A. 25 July 2014: There is a saying that goes along the lines of 'when the Mistress becomes the wife, there is a job vacancy created.'
Put it all down to experience and move on.
He can't possibly want to leave his family after just a month, and if he does what ... (read in full...)
How do I get my 73 year old husband to wash every day?
Q. How can I get my husband of 73 to wash everyday? He gets upset when I pull away from him as even a kiss makes me feel sick...he never brushes his teeth, I change pillow cases every day as they are smelly and greasy! We have single beds now...I ...
A. 25 July 2014: Have you talked with his doctor? A sudden deterioration in personal hygiene has been linked to a number of degenerative mental conditions, including Parkinson's and Alzheimer's
http:... (read in full...)
My partner has been sexting
Q. I have discovered that my partner of 9 years has been sending very sexually explicit texts to another woman and photos of his erect penis. This dates back to the end of last year until March when it seemed to tail off. From the texts my name is ...
A. 25 July 2014: Good luck and all the best xx... (read in full...)
The man I know now is so different from the one I knew 2 years ago. I feel trapped being with him!
Q. I have been going out with this man for 2 years now. He seemed very sweet and attentive at first and has always desired me more than I do him but I've looked past that and tried to see other qualities in him. He is 45 years old and had been living ...
A. 25 July 2014: No, sorry - after this update, I don't believe for a second you 'owe' this person anything. If you "feel like a whore" just up and leave. Explain exactly why you are leaving, don't listen to any of the inevitable abuse/abject pleading and find ... (read in full...)
I miss my ex but I don't know why..I don't want him back!
Q. My ex was controlling, manipulative, unwilling to work, immature and treated me like his personal bank. Towards the end of our 3 year relationship he also started to get physically abusive and extremely verbally abusive. We have been split for 2...
A. 25 July 2014: You miss him, or you miss being with someone? Both of these feel a lot like the other. I am sure you do miss him, or rather the 'him' during the good times. You sound really intelligent, and I can't imagine you miss the fighting, the sp... (read in full...)
Any advice on ending this relationship?
Q. I started talking to this girl a little over a month ago online. we seemed to get along well have some similar interests so i asked her to meet. i didnt feel any sparwhen we metks or anything but i figured thats just because we are still just ...
A. 25 July 2014: It has been a month, not a year. Just tell her honestly that you like her but that is as far as it goes. Even if she does have depression, it will not hurt her for any significant amount of time; certainly not as much as if you string her along... (read in full...)
LDR issues: Don't want to lose him, but things are moving too fast
Q. How can I help to make this LDR work? I met a guy a month ago and he moved too fast with his feelings. I hesitated to date him at first because I have tried two LDRs that failed because the first one I wasn't really in love and the second one basi...
A. 25 July 2014: Still a LOT of alarm bells; if you were happy with his, and what he is doing, you wouldn't be posting questions here. He sounds awfully pushy and for me, of you are still unsure, that is not good.... (read in full...)
Should I confront her about why she deleted me from facebook?
Q. Small question.. Just finished college ive just noticed one of my friends from college has deleted me of Facebook, no idea why, we were quite good friends as far as I'm aware. I thought maybe it was because we had finished college and she felt she...
A. 25 July 2014: I cull people from FB all the time, and am rather ruthless about doing that. I also GET culled on a semi-regular basis. Maybe most of the friendship at college was on your side, and perhaps this person feels they needd to edit their life in or... (read in full...)
My partner has been sexting
Q. I have discovered that my partner of 9 years has been sending very sexually explicit texts to another woman and photos of his erect penis. This dates back to the end of last year until March when it seemed to tail off. From the texts my name is ...
A. 25 July 2014: I would certainly have a word with the lady in question, and maybe his mother and sisters too, as it could be that they are aware (to some degree) of what is going on. Or at least, perhaps, of an old female friend of his who has come back into his ... (read in full...)
The man I know now is so different from the one I knew 2 years ago. I feel trapped being with him!
Q. I have been going out with this man for 2 years now. He seemed very sweet and attentive at first and has always desired me more than I do him but I've looked past that and tried to see other qualities in him. He is 45 years old and had been living ...
A. 24 July 2014: I would leave like a shot; it sounds as though he would be happier with a box of tissues than an person with feelings. Pay the landlord your share of the rent and cut your losses and get the hell out of Dodge.
Quite frankly, his attitude towards ... (read in full...)
Every time I sleep with him I fall more in love with him! Advice needed, please!
Q. I've been sleeping with this guy on and off for about 6 years when I say on and off I mean 2-3 time a year. Each time I've seen him I've fell more and more In love with him. The only problem is he's married with a kid, this is where it gets ...
A. 24 July 2014: However hard you think it will be, walk away from this; it sounds as though you have put your life on hold for this guy, while he has gaily got on with his.
He doesn't love you - he may well like you, and desire you, but he doesn't love you.
... (read in full...)
Should I take the initiative ... or wait for him to?
Q. There's a very cute guy in my college ..he has had crush on me since the beginning of the college and its been almost a year ... we just used to chat very rarely but now we've started chatting almost every day.. but he takes a very long time to ...
A. 24 July 2014: Stop stressing about this one guy - he'll either call or he won't. You don't love him, you have a crush, and he probably is the same.
If he's at college during the day he probably doesn't have time to reply much because of studying; more tim... (read in full...)
LDR issues: Don't want to lose him, but things are moving too fast
Q. How can I help to make this LDR work? I met a guy a month ago and he moved too fast with his feelings. I hesitated to date him at first because I have tried two LDRs that failed because the first one I wasn't really in love and the second one basi...
A. 24 July 2014: You, yourself, use phrases like "he's moving too fast", and "He is complaining ......".
Sound to me that you are not comfortable with HIS needyness by the very fact you are asking about it.
While I can appreciate that you like this chap a lot,... (read in full...)
Do I ask him out or not?
Q. ive met a guy I really like through an online dating site , weve been on a few dates and get on really well hes texted me loads to say he really likes me but then he had some bad health news he wont tell me what so fair enough ,he knows it wont ...
A. 24 July 2014: He sounds as though he's playing you; I met a guy on a dating site and he did pretty much the exact same things.
I would, personally, drop him completely and move on. There is every possibility that if you keep him as a 'friend' he'll see you ... (read in full...)
Is counselling the answer?
Q. Advice please. My ex and I split up due to us growing apart and him cheating. We had two lovely children together. He was bitter I called it quits and at times made life difficult for the kids as a result and said some terrible things to me. We both ...
A. 23 July 2014: I go with WiseOwl on this; I've worked in Child Protection and seen this happen again and again to the distress of the children. He's an ex for a good reason, and seems to be (if anything) worse than when you split the first time. Do not get back ... (read in full...)
I'm gay, I am dating two women, who do I choose?
Q. hi i have a really bad problem i just met two women more less at the same time a couple of weeks ago. im a lesbian by the way and they both like me, im dating them both. i really like them both and no idea what one to choose at all. they both smoke ...
A. 23 July 2014: Surely it is far too early to be committed? Two weeks seems like an awfully short time to know either of these women(or any one) well enough to decide to 'settle down'. Are either of them saying THEY want to settle down or be exclusive?
If yo... (read in full...)
Recently rekindled things with an ex and now I'm realizing I don't have the right feelings. I don't want to break his heart again!
Q. I recently rekindled with my ex after two years apart. We were together for 8 years before that. We split because I grew distant, he didn't have a lot of respect for me. However when we broke up, it seems I completely broke his heart. I was told ...
A. 23 July 2014: I would break it off now, while it is still new and uncertain and cut both your losses. Yes he may end up hurt, but not as badly as if you had dated for a few months and then break up. I can't see that going on a few dates is leading anyone o... (read in full...)
I paid for the taxi on my back -- does that mean the end of my relationship?
Q. After an afternoon boozing I thought it wise to get a taxi home! However id ran out of money and couldn't really afford it! On the way home I explained this to the taxi driver who said I could always pay at the other end, however my boyfriend was...
A. 22 July 2014: I assume the cabbie is licensed by the council? If he is, you need to let them know he has been harassing you as this is something HE shouldn't have done/been doing. I am not saying you weren't stupid (you were!), but this is also something he ... (read in full...)
Newlyweds and embarrassment of dealing with hair "down there"
Q. How do newlyweds deal with hair "down there"? I mean, doesn't it get uncomfortable with the roughness of hair growing back or the embarrassment of ingrown hairs? I'm getting married soon and have never been intimate with anyone before. I'm anxious ...
A. 22 July 2014: There is a super- expensive treatment called IPL - this involves a laser 'killing' (or at least stunning) the hair follicles so they don't produce as much hair. It can take a while to see real results, and it won't work on VERY dark skin (although ... (read in full...)
The spark is gone from our sex life, will bringing in a third person help?
Q. Hi. My wife and I have been married for 23 years. We still love each other but the spark has gone from our sex life, although we regularly have sex. For many years I have always told her that the thought of her having sex with another well endowed ...
A. 22 July 2014: A lady has recently posted a similar question, only from the perspective of a fantasy gone horribly wrong; it didn't go as her husband envisaged, and now he blames his wife for the fact he couldn't handle the reality; he now blames her for the whole ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as a ridiculously attractive average looking guy?
Q. There have been a very very small number of guys who said they've done some kind of psychological exercises to become more attractive to girls and now they get checked out everywhere they go by a LOT of girls and don't have to say anything special ...
A. 22 July 2014: A LOT of what people find attractive is down to body chemistry; if someone (on a mostly subliminal level) smells right then they are (at that point in time) the right one. Sure, there are 'tricks one can play - mind games - to get someone into bed... (read in full...)
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