A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have discovered that my partner of 9 years has been sending very sexually explicit texts to another woman and photos of his erect penis. This dates back to the end of last year until March when it seemed to tail off. From the texts my name is mentioned in what we are doing socially and the woman gives her regards to his mother and sister. This as well upset me a lot as it appears that she may know his family. This is not the first time I have caught this sort of stuff, about 4 years ago something similar and he blagged his way out of and I found on the history of my computer f...ck Buddy sites which he denied were his doing. I haven't confronted him yet as don't know the best way to deal with it, other than chucking him out, but I am tempted to ring the woman to find out what is going on. I should add that when we met he had an erectile problem which I helped him to overcome and sex for me could be quite painful which I put up with to help him with his problem, but now I wonder if he is getting his pleasure elsewhere and it is time to get out.
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female
reader, Mistresskiki +, writes (25 July 2014):
Good luck and all the best xx
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 July 2014):
 This sounds bizzare and strange. He sounds like this New York congressman I read about.Try cancelling the cell service.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for taking the time to give your honest opinions which I really appreciate, and what you have said about contacting the woman is what I was thinking of doing but just needed to know that is what other people would do. Just trying to find the right moment as I know that the sh..t will hit the fan then. Thank you all
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A
female
reader, Mistresskiki +, writes (25 July 2014):
I would certainly have a word with the lady in question, and maybe his mother and sisters too, as it could be that they are aware (to some degree) of what is going on. Or at least, perhaps, of an old female friend of his who has come back into his life, as it does sound as though she IS a friend of the family at the very least.I wouldn't advocate flying off the handle at this woman, suggest you two meet for a coffee somewhere public and have a chat.This way not only do you come out as a mature, reasonable individul, but you also have an amount of concrete facts, other the texts (I hope you forwarded them to your phone for evidence???). If he has a history of similar behaviour, it does rather sound as though he is continuing where he left off. And even I can't find anything non-suspicious about this. Flirty texts? Sure, one can rationalise that it is a harmless flirtation. Sexting is a whole different level which, combined with what you know about him being on fuck buddy sites (and who is to say he isn't still on them, only he's covering his trail better) spells deep deep trouble.Your trust is obviously (with reason) gone, and I would say that if his female friend and family can corroborate and elaborate upon your suspicions, I would suggest that for him the relationship is over and sorry arse is kicked to the kerb.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2014): I personally do think it is time to get out. If 4 years ago you found something suspicious, I think that was a "fool me once, shame on you" sort of moment, and you stayed with him because you probably thought "ehh, fuck buddy website, not a big deal", so he probably thinks its ok for him to do these things because you will forgive him and stay with him. I think it is even worse that the woman knows his mother and sister, because it is not just anyone, not that it would be any better if it were a stranger. Sexting turns to sex if you let this just slide. You should confront him and end things and if you want more information I would definitely do something crazy like text the lady he is sexting, but thats just me! All i know is you deserve better than that and its time to move on love!
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