A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im so confused my partner moved due to work in November last yr and this year ive seen him 4 times only for a day never over night, ive asked him many of times if he wanted to b with me or if he liked somebody else or was even with anyone else hes always said no to me...A couple of weeks ago he come and got his tax disk form and other stt but still has clothes hear and sone of his personal stuff like 3 members of his familys death certificates and some cds, he was even smelling some photos saying it smelt like his nans house :( I was expecting him to take them back wwith him but he put them back om tje cupboard ive told mt friend about this who also thinks hes in a relationship but saying he actually wont admit to me, im thinking if he was with somebody else why would he leave some clothes hear and some inportant stuff... how do guys work im very confused Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mistresskiki +, writes (26 July 2014):
Errrm he isn't your partner, he's a (not very good) friend who keeps some of his stuff (and VERY odd stuff at that) a your place.
I agree that you need to get him out fo there and move on.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 July 2014):
 you are just free storage to him... this is not even a relationship anymore... he just forgot to tell you he was done dating you...
I suggest you box up all his stuff and give him notice that if he does not come and get all of his stuff within x amount of time you will be throwing it in the trash.
then do it if he does not show up and move on without him. he's wasting your time and your space.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 July 2014):
 Here is the real question, do YOU want to be in this kind of relationship?
He is using you as a secondary storage room and barely sees you.
That doesn't sound like a relationship at all. Now it sounds like it's just convenient for him to "stay" with you.
Is this what YOU want? Why give HIM to option to stay or go? Why not decide if you are OK with it or not?
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (25 July 2014):
 So in 8 months time, your boyfriend has made time to see you four times - none of those being overnight?
You say he moved for work, but you don't say how far away he moved. But from the sound of it, if he can make day trips, it can't be that terribly far.
It does sound as if he has another relationship and is carrying on a double life. Either that, or he's just not interested in the relationship with you anymore and you are a free storage facility for him in the meantime.
Either way, what are you waiting for? This isn't a relationship. A relationship is between two people who make time for each other. This man hasn't made any time for you. You haven't even slept next to each other in almost a year. And it's not because he hasn't had the opportunity to.
What exactly are you getting out of this 'relationship' anyway? I would be so unhappy. I would end this and move on. Find someone who actually makes time for you and wants to be around you as much as possible. And someone who isn't using you as a glorified free storage facility. Next time, tell him to get his clothes, pictures, CD's, and death certificates, and get the hell out. Who needs that?
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2014): That is rather confusing, although I dont see why exactly you came to the conclusion that hes with someone else, unless he has told you you cannot stay overnight or lives very close to you but still only sees you 4 times a year. It sounds a lot like hes just leaving his stuff there as a storage unit or something, but mainly because you didnt give much explanation on it. If he visits strictly to pick up things I think its time to end the relationship, and if he lives nearby enough that he can see you more often than just 4 times, it is definitely time to box his things and send him packing. Hope all works out love!
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