A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a woman on a dating site and we hit it off so well we that we took our conversations offline and started texting.After a week she deleted her account on the dating site and I just never bothered with mine again. After 2 weeks we had arranged to meet and I decided to delete my account on the dating site.When I went on to do this I found she had created a new account and had uploaded lots of private pictures of herself. When I confronted her about it she got upset and accused me of spying on her and treating her like a slag. Then she said she never wanted to talk to me again because I don't trust her.I really like her and feel bad I have upset her, but I do wonder why she created a new account and uploaded private pictures of herself if she felt anything for me.I have messaged her and apologised but she just wont reply.We hadn't met and weren't dating, but everything was going well and dating was the next step. What can I do to get this back on track?
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female
reader, Mistresskiki  +, writes (27 July 2014):
It never was on track, tbh. She probably did like you, but wasn't interested in anything other than a casual friendship.How did you find her new profile, because if you were actively looking at profiles then it doesn't really look as though you were acting in a particularly monogamous way.If you were actually looking for her, because you didn't actually trust her then - busted. You WERE spying. I've been there myself because i din't trust the person I was DATING (not in a relationship with, but dating)Having been on your side of things, I have to say that dating sites seem to be (by and large) populated by people who enjoy dating and having sex but have never come across one person who actually wants a real relationship. I guess I'm unlucky, but it doesn't sound as though I am the only person to be disappointed in this way.You are a grown up - mark it down to experience, don't rush to conclusions about the needs/wants of others (talk about them maybe?) and try to detach from the outcome a little bit.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (27 July 2014):
 I think at this point, all is probably lost. Realistically, I can't necessarily say I blame her. She didn't owe you anything. You two hadn't even met yet. You were two strangers who messaged online, and then texted for a week. That's it. I wouldn't delete a profile off of a dating site unless I had physically met the person, gone out a bunch, and had decided to make it exclusive. At that point, I'd remove my hypothetical profile. But not for someone I'd only texted for a week and not even met yet.
If someone got onto my case about this after not even knowing me for a week, and having never met me, I'd respond exactly as she has. It'd be a big red flag for me. I'd believe the person to be controlling and a big on the stalkerish side. Not implying you are, at all. But to a stranger who doesn't know you're not? It could come across that way.
I think this one is most likely a lost cause. Next time, just relax and don't be in such a hurry.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (26 July 2014):
You really like her?? You don't even know her. There are so many things that are wrong on both sides of this "relationship". Chalk this up to experience and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014): This woman is a player and she has lied to you. Meeting people online is not a good ideat. You have no idea what they are all about. Use your common sense and forget about her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014): She isn't interested anymore. Mainly because she got busted. Move on. She pretended to close her account only to open another one. You've never met-up with this woman anyway.
Isn't her deception sending off sirens and buzzers in your brain?!!
Seriously?!!
You really liked her??? She's a player! She stroked your ego. Listen to the wisdom of your age and maturity. Stop behaving desperately. You should know better. You can't be naive, if you're into online-dating. Don't apologize for catching her in a scam.
Lying and deception is a definite deal-breaker.
Wise-up, my good man!!!
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A
female
reader, -BMBTL- +, writes (26 July 2014):
 How did you find her new account?
I think she had reason to say about "spying on her" as obviously it would have looked like you were.
I think you have said the truth here "I do wonder why she created a new account and uploaded private pictures of herself if she felt anything for me." - Because she was probably on these sites for a bit of fun and nothing more than that, so when she realised someone was liking her in a way she doesn't necessarily, want or need at this moment, she has 'dissapeared'.
I know this is hard but if she won't reply, I think that's her way of saying, don't contact me.
Sorry mate, but there's always someone else!
Good luck :)
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