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Should I confront her about why she deleted me from facebook?

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ebeccaa writes:

Small question..

Just finished college ive just noticed one of my friends from college has deleted me of Facebook, no idea why, we were quite good friends as far as I'm aware. I thought maybe it was because we had finished college and she felt she no longer needed/wanted me in her life, however she still has all our other college friends on Facebook. So its obviously personal.

Any idea Why? Should I confront her? Or just ignore it?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (25 July 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntfacebook has a weird habit of unfriending us sometimes... I just noticed the other day that a friend of mine had "unfriended me" but her husband had not.

found out she had "unfriended" another of my very good friends too.

we both did a friend request and she took us right back...

OTOH I have someone who I unfriended me and when I sent the friend request she has ignored it... not declined. not blocked... just ignored... no clue why but since we were only friends on the internet I didn't sweat it.

I suggest you send a friend request and see what happens.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (25 July 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIf you still talk together and hang out you are still friends. Facebook means absolutely nothing.

Some people go through their FB often and cut the "friends-list" from those they don't TALK to on FB. Or those they don't talk to much anyways.

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A female reader, Mistresskiki United Kingdom +, writes (25 July 2014):

I cull people from FB all the time, and am rather ruthless about doing that. I also GET culled on a semi-regular basis.

Maybe most of the friendship at college was on your side, and perhaps this person feels they needd to edit their life in order to present the 'right' face to the world? Neither of which scenarios are particularly affirming for you, but show your 'friend' to be nothing of the sort.

It always hurts when someone you thought of as a good friend ups and dumps you, but life goes on and I am sure you will make new ones. College is difficult and relationships often end or wither away afterwards. Facebook, and the way one can break with a person with a click of the mouse makes it particularly harsh.

I wouldn't stress about it, just shrug, shed a couple of tears and move on to form new friendships with new people in the real world rather than here in cyberspace.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2014):

Maybe you flirted with the wrong guy. Why be bothered with this petty social-media shenanigans?

Seriously?!!!

You have a life. Go live it!!! Don't place so much value on her acceptance and validation.

She has no control over you, or your other friends. When one pigeon flies off the wall, you go enjoy the friends you still have. You simply do not allow people to place an appraisal on your value, by whether they keep you on Facebook. There are far too many people in the real-world who would love to get to know you in-person. You're young, just graduated, and the world is your oyster. You've trivialized your wonderful life down to some prissy snob's de-friending?

Excuse me?!! Who died and left her the Queen of England?

Go enjoy yourself and make new friends. Socialize in the real-world so your life doesn't depend on a "delete" button.

Congratulations on your graduation, my dear!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2014):

I would let it go. I don't like Facebook at the best of times - too easy to have fallings out and various other issues. In this case, if she's deleted you, perhaps you were right about the friendship ending because college has ended.

Let this go, move on.

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A female reader, ImissFuturama United States +, writes (24 July 2014):

ImissFuturama agony auntDo you post statuses about every detail of your life? Do you complain a lot? Do you post everything the Kardashians do? Do you have children, and if so, do you post a lot of pictures of them? Do you post attention seeking pictures? I don't even mean cleavage shots, I mean frequent selfies with no interesting background. So the sole purpose of posting them is to see how many likes and comments you can get. I ask because these are things that have made me delete people. I didn't think less of them as a person, but I found them too annoying on Facebook.

If the answer is no to all of these questions, then I would just ask her why.

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