A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if I need advice or just to speak my peice. My wife and I have been married for 5+ years. Durring which we have ebbed and flowed to the point that I would beleive at times she has another relationship. This is the only night of the week we are together and we spent all day, her dodging moments with me. I will talk to her about things she is interested in even, and she is amis. I cry myself to sleep most nights and have run out of tears. If they are in love with you and you are with someone else, stop the previous relationship first. We have 3 kids all lies she told to keep me close. They dont know and wont if I can help it. But right now I had to say something. I read these posts everynight, always the same thing...I am interested in someone else, (you caught this trophy, on to the next one) or is he cheating on me, (your in my boat) shes disinterested how do I keep her, (just let her go mate). I love people and hope to find true love before I die, but for now I cry for my sons and daughter, I cry because their mother is going to break their hearts too. Be good to each other, and sex isnt everything. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (24 January 2007):
 i am sorry i misunderstood your post probably am not the only one i thought it was a comment for people to appreciate what they have.
i think its time you and your wife do some talking you cant have sleepless night crying while she snores next to as if nothing is wrong. your children are part of this marriage is true and if it breaks they will suffer more than you as every child want to grow in a stable family where mommy and daddy are inlove. right now you guys are no longer give that hope to your children i admire your courage to try to keep it away from them with all your might as they really deserve some protection from all this mess but one way or another if she decides its over you will have to tell them, so its up to you now to sit down your wife and see how you can approach your children if this marriage really have to end.
be strong for yourself and your children you will definetley find a way to break it to them its painful i have been on the children's side but the truth is after what i saw my mom went thru trying to make things better i saw getting out being her only way out i dont know your children's ages but if they are old enough to understand things like this propbably they have seen what is going on and just waiting for u to say something. its a good thing you have someone who is in the same predicament i think you really need that kind of friend right now who will listen without judging you.
hope all goes well with u and your children
jovial
A
female
reader, Millyella  +, writes (24 January 2007):
 I'm sorry to hear that you're so unhappy. Were things always like this with your wife? It sounds like it's been going on for a while. Sometimes, relationships aren't meant to last. People make mistakes and get married to the wrong person, or before they're ready, or when they're not suited to marriage at all. It's really unfortunate when children are involved. Perhaps that's why your wife is staying in this relationship; for the sake of the children.
If you can't go on living like this, you could speak to your wife. Sit her down and explain how you feel to her. Maybe she will come clean with you, and you will have some insight into why she behaves the way she does. If you can work through it, well and good. But if you can't, you need to consider your own happiness as well as that of your kids. Perhaps she just needs a wake-up call, or perhaps it's time to accept that the end is nigh for this marriage.
In any case, you need to talk to her. At least you should get some answers that way; we can only offer 'possible answers' here.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): No replies and thats fine, I have married friend at work I talk too. She is in the came boat with her husband. We have a real relationship, without doing anything that would damage or risk our families, and that is honestly far more rewarding, I hope anyone who reads this can find happiness, relationships are obviousdly not the way to that but nice when they are there and missed when thay are not. forgive my moment of weakness.
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