A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm a married lady; been married for nearly 10 years now. I'm mostly happy with my husband, and don't want to leave the marriage.Last year i met a great guy i had chemistry with. At the time, we were both honest about our feelings. But as i told him, i'm married and didn't think i could live with the guilt if i had an affair. He said he would have a problem being with a married woman.I have since decided that i might like to take it further with this man. I have emailed him, but to no avail; he hasn't responded. My question is: are there really such principled men out there? Men who won't have an affair with a married woman?No judgements please; i'm well aware of the enormity of this whole thing. My question is about men like this, not about the whole 'bad wife having an affair' issue.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007): To be a man or person of integrity implies that the person is whole, complete and without moral compromise. There in lies the rewards of being a human being living life with integrity. Until you experience it and live it, then it is not for you to question or to even attempt to comprehend it in it's absolute perfection.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (14 February 2007):
 Of course there are men out there with integrity. Hopefully some will rub off on you. For a man with integrity, you're not a worthy partner.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (13 February 2007):
He may just be saying this because he knows you will eat it up and want to bed him after finding out that hes so princibled. BUT, like milyella said, you wont leave your marriage and he probly knows there would be no future. So perhaps he would love to be with you, but doesnt want to get hurt.
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (13 February 2007):
 All men have principles.....they just vary to a great degree...just like women. The trick is to discover someone who has similar principles to your own. Of course a man can have feelings for you and realise that letting you into his life will be full of heartache and not what is best for his well being.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (13 February 2007):
 I don't think it's about principles as much as about logic and common sense. He gets mixed up with a married woman, what does that spell? Hassle and baggage and emotional pressures he could well do without! He's only being sensible and doing HIMSELF a favour in the long run!
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): Three female answers, interesting :)
I agree with what they said - of course there are principled men out there. Why can't a man believe in the sanctitude of marriage?
This guy probably remembered that there are plenty of other people on the planet who are free and single to have "chemistry" with.
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A
female
reader, Millyella  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Absolutely there are principled men out there. And women too. I guess that a lot of people presume that if a man is offered the chance of sex, he will take it no matter what the circumstances. It sounds to me like this man has decided that he cannot have his own needs met by a 'relationship' with you. It has no future if you won't leave your marriage, and he may not want to risk getting involved and ultimately ending up with nothing.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Of course there are men who wouldn't be the slightest interested in having an affair with you or any other married woman. Get real, sheesh.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Sure, there's plenty of principled men (and women) out there. I've even had the privilege of meeting some of them. And every time I meet one, my respect for human kind goes up a notch.
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