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... Send *anaja a private message | | | *anaja's profile:Im male 44years old ,have a 21 year old married daughter and an 18 year old son, I think Ive been through the mill and come out of the otherside a few times over !
Ive loved , lost and done it all again , does it make us any stronger ? It helps us reflect more and on the best part , helps us not to make the same mistakes again, but if were of a certain character, with all the will in the world ,we probably will at some point repeat those mistake and find ourselves asking the question "why do we bother ?", answer , because its much more fun with two people in the game! |
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Living with somebody's bad karma
Q. I feel Like I'm in this incredibly complicated situation.. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and there always has been a presence of a women from his past. I'm in my mid 30's and my BF is in his early 50s. We both been ...
A. 30 August 2010: I sort of understand where your coming from, im 45 yrs old , my girlfriend is 29, she tells me qiute often "its always you and your exs that are the problem .!"
I dont actually "see " any "problem ", I would never go back to any of my exs over... (read in full...)
Help please! Does anyone have any advice on how to let go of things?
Q. Does anyone have any advice on how to let go of things? its been almost a month and a half since things went bad with a girl i was dating for a little while.. i did everything i thought was right made sure i wasn't over bearing... really crossed t...
A. 30 March 2010: Hi Ive been there , its a rubbish situation to be in , she obviously doesnt know what she wants , let her go, try to stop thinking about her, dont take her back , she'l only mess with your mind some more.Go out and have fun with your friends , ... (read in full...)
He dumped me for something that happened when I wasn't even with him!!!
Q. What did I do to deserve this? My boyfriend dumped me over some web posts he found. The funny thing is that those posts are from like 5 years ago! Whereas we have been dating for 3 years. That means, those posts are from BEFORE I met him! We h...
A. 3 December 2009: Im 44 years old and have dumped someone four years ago for her past , I was 40m then, she was a wonderful person and went on to meet someone else, I regretted it for a long time after, .I echo everything" Satin Desire" says. You dont need him , he ... (read in full...)
How big of an issue is it that he prefers anal and I dont?
Q. Hi, I would really appreciate some advice. I split up with my long term partner a year ago (he left) and although I still love him I started dating another guy, who I do really like but the problem is that he is really really into anal sex and I am ...
A. 2 December 2009: You say he ticks a lot of boxs for you , how bout him ? The very fact your writing here is because its a major issue for you, has he never hard of compromise ?
Most straight men have tried anal sex with a woman and most straight men pref... (read in full...)
Now she has found someone else I want her back
Q. After a few months of ongoing fights and quarrels, I made the biggest mistake ever: I cheated on her. After a few more fights, we broke up and went our seperate ways. A couple months after we broke up, she started dating this other guy. I realiz...
A. 30 November 2009: If your hanging out together , she still wants you, she's playing difficult to get and making you sweat, what makes you think that you wont cheat on her again if you have an argument again, how do you know that she wont get rid of you with ease next ... (read in full...)
My husbands wants to reverse his "op"
Q. the bloke iv been with for the past 8 years was forced into having a vasectomy from his ex of 10 years,it was a case of if he didnt have it done then she told him she would end the relationship,when he did have it done she still ended the the ...
A. 30 November 2009: As far as im aware you cant have it reversed on the nhs, my friend had to pay £2000 and go private to have his reversed. after a few years , the chances of a succesful reversal are very slim, 12 years is a long time.
I was actually single when... (read in full...)
He still tells me he loves me even though he has a new gf!
Q. Me and my boyfriend of a year broke up 3 months ago due to him having feelings for another girl.he is now seeing her but still texts me every day and tells me he loves me.why would he do this??...
A. 27 November 2009: Because he doesnt want to let go of you just yet till he's totally sure of what he wants. Basically he's being very selfish , stringing you along, its a sort of crass control thing .
Ignore him totally, go out have fun and when your ready , me... (read in full...)
Split from husband and seeing a new man... but still in love with him
Q. Her is the story long and true and I need help. I am 29 years old. My husband and I are currently seperated and have been since June. My husband and I had been together for 13 years. Married for 8 years. Well we had a very rouch relationship ...
A. 27 November 2009: I think you should tell your boyfriend that you think he's a great bloke, but its way too soon for you to be in a relationship, let him down gently that way.
On a footnote , the guys a lot older than you , for sure he 's going to tell you he's... (read in full...)
I was so angry with my married lover that I sent a letter to his son revealing all about our relationship!
Q. Dear Cupid, Can love be so true when he is with other women at the same time he is with me? I am 38 yrs old and separated. I met a 68 yrs old married man through internet chatting. I fell intensely in love with him and we shared feelings onlin...
A. 27 November 2009: You should walk away from this guy if you can , he is using you for sex, he's telling you what you want to hear, you need to find somebody for you, affairs are no good , except just for sex, that is the ONLY attraction , nothing else, Ive had ... (read in full...)
My wife suddenly won't allow me to have sex with my girlfriend!
Q. [Moderator note: question edited for clarity] Me, my wife, and my girlfriend have been involved for a while. My wife has allowed this because 1) she was my ex fiance and 2)I have an over active sex drive that would make a porn star blush. My wife ...
A. 22 November 2009: Its not really a high sex drive, I think maybe if your wife cant handle that amount of sex , she should have counselling! !... (read in full...)
Should we just be friends?
Q. I have this problem.I started dating a coworker when we started working together,he was just getting over a divorce.We had a relationship for two years and right before I go for a family visit he was telling me about his plans for us and talking ...
A. 19 November 2009: Move on from it, your clearly not meant to be with each other, "open relationship" is no better than having a "f..k buddy ". Dont be too friendly with him anymore at work, treat him more like another co worker, dont listen to his rubbish ... (read in full...)
Why would she still want to be friends after we broke up?
Q. Hey, i just got out of a relationship about 3 1/2 months ago and just talked to my ex today. it was casual and she told me about her new boyfriend. It didnt really bother me as much as i thought until she said that she was completely over me. i was ...
A. 18 November 2009: I believe this much, your not over her, shes not over you, why tell you she is over you, total rubbish! What I do think though, is dont be friends with her, in my expierence you cant be friends with an ex, unless you have kids..then you have to be ... (read in full...)
My husband just never wants to sort things out!! He expects me to be fine.
Q. I need some advice here. I've been married for just over 2 years now. My husband is a wonderful man who's totally commited, faithful, caring and hard working. But...if we have an arguement, he doesn't like to talk about it afterwards. Now I'm a...
A. 18 November 2009: Its a form of control, he knows it obviously bothers you, so he does it all the more. Maybe if you werent so emotional and didnt ask him why he does what he does, it may prick his ears up. Next time he soes something you dont like, dont respond, ... (read in full...)
What to do when the ex who messed you about wants you back? I never got over him!
Q. what do you do when you were with you're ex boyfriend for nearly 2 years, so in love.. but it all fell apart, because of his mistakes, he changed, started to treat me horribly, messed me about and so on.. nearly a year down the line after breaking ...
A. 18 November 2009: Dont take him back , its his loss, focus on your new relationship, if he thinks he's made a mistake, then hopefully when he meets someone else , he'l learn from it,he wont make the same mistake again.
My bet is he wants you back beca... (read in full...)
I am struggling with the end of our relationship. I need closure.
Q. I am struggling to cope with the end of a 9 year relationship, and need some advice on how to get through it all as my now ex-bf has cut all contact, leaving me with many unanswered questions and no closure at all. We were together 9 years, lived ...
A. 18 November 2009: Forget about closure , as nasty as this may sound , he doesnt owe you an explanation for anything no matter how frustrating it may be for you, true "closure " comes with time, .You've done all you can , try and forget about him , go out and enjoy ... (read in full...)
Will I ever get over my ex?
Q. my girlfriend ended our long term relationship 2 months ago and i'm still struggling to get over it. We live in a village/small town and so I do occasionally bump into her. Because of this we have kept in contact - maybe once a week/fortnight w...
A. 17 November 2009: A few years ago somebody dumped me, she lived on my street, so I know how difficult it can be, I used to see her going out , getting picked up by her boyfriend etc.. before she started seeing her boyfriend she would text me as a "friend" ,meet up ... (read in full...)
I am having fantasies about my pregnant neighbor!
Q. i have a young couple as next door neighbours. my problem is that the wife is 5 months pregnant. and i have started having fantasies about her. ever since she got the baby bump. its almost like a pregnancy fetish. and i am not too happy about ...
A. 14 November 2009: I see pregnant women in a sexy sort of way, some of the best sex I had with my ex wife was when she was pregnant,maybe because there was something different about her, I think maybe at 15 your just discovering yourself and yes theres nothing wrong ... (read in full...)
Do I owe my ex closure?
Q. [Moderator Note: Additional information posted under heading 'Am I being unfair to my ex-girlfriend?' Link: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-being-unfair-to-my-ex-girlfriend.html] Hi I'm in a bit of a quandry. I was with my ex for 6 ye...
A. 14 November 2009: To be honest you dont owe anybody anything! Times when ive asked why people finish with me the way they do and all I get back is "please lets not go there ", these days , I just dont bother asking, they have to get over it as im sure one day you may ... (read in full...)
Is it normal 2 years down the line to still get aggravated by my boyfriend cheating on me?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend cheated on me 2 years ago. We had only been going out for a few months and on one drunken night my boyfriend made out with some girl. The next day he told me immediately and said he was sorry and I chose to forgive him. I'm glad I d...
A. 12 November 2009: My friends wife was aggrevated 10 years after my friend had a brief fling, she eventually left him because she couldnt handle it, she never trusted him after that, always checking up on him etc , she was at the point of obsession, she also went out ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's texts to her ex-boyfriend confuse me. Is she cheating?
Q. My girlfriend of 10 months and I have go through some serious issues - her manipulative ex disrupting things to begin with, big age gap, medical problem meaning no sex for months, meeting my kids. We've joked about how the things we've go through ...
A. 12 November 2009: Tell her you dont like , apologise , then finish with her, if she comes back, tell her not to text her ex again...she still cares for him otherwise she wouldnt do it.... (read in full...)
Could this mean she still has feelings for me?
Q. Me and my ex broke up back in August. However we remained friends. About 2 months later I brought up the idea of hangin out 'just as friends' and she said we could. Well one morning she texts me and says that she didn't want to hang out. Well one ...
A. 12 November 2009: Id accept the request then ignore her, my ex wife cheated on me after 10 years of marriage, she got married and divorced, wanted me back, so we did for a very short while, she did it again ...a year later she sent me a request, I accepted, she lwft ... (read in full...)
I refuse to be his sex buddy...I want to move forward to the next step. How do I tell him this?
Q. Met a great guy in the summer but as time went by - it was obvious that he just wanted a no strings attached relationship. The sex was amazing but I knocked it on the head and said no - I wanted and deserved more.... Well he recently has bee...
A. 12 November 2009: I think I would take things very slow with him, dont give him sex as often as you did, let him wait a bit, chase you...otherwise you'l be back to square one and when he's done with you , he'l just get somebody else. Let him do some chasing.... (read in full...)
Is it weird to friend an ex on facebook?
Q. Is it weird to friend an ex on facebook. I'm not sure what I'm trying to do, if I think that friending him will spark his interest again or if I'm trying to show him I have moved on but a large part of me wants to show him no hard feelings we can ...
A. 11 November 2009: Ive an ex on facebook , but I ended it with her months ago, weve no hard feelings, shes become single again and she has feelings for me, her daughter told me, if its difficult for her to have me as a friend I dont know, but she remains dignified ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my best friend
Q. Me and my boyfriend have always gotten along and have a close bond but theres always been somthing that pisses me off. He's jealous of my best friend who is male and also an ex of mine. I've explained so many times that there's nothing going on and ...
A. 9 November 2009: You must like your ex boyfriend still a hell of a lot or just enjoy winding up your current boyfriend , if you really do care about your current boyfriend, then get shut of your ex , its like a slap in the face for your current boyfriend, personally ... (read in full...)
A man FINALLY fancies me for more than sex and I am not as interested in him! What should I do?
Q. hi seemed to atract men how only wanted sex , and am fed up as want more than that,now i have meet a man how wants to spend time with me treat me right and is lovley person has a fab job , and is very honest, the trouble is i just dont fancy him he ...
A. 4 November 2009: If you dont fancy him , end it now, you need to be physically attracted to someone, if your not, then chances are your going to go off with someone else out there or worse play about behind his back, his personality and job wont save him from you ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get over him when I've tried everything?
Q. Hey Dear agony aunts!!!!!!!!! i just want an input on this what would you do if no matter what you do...no matter how many hobbies you may get you can never really get over someone??? what else should i do???especially if this someone was "for...
A. 2 November 2009: I remember being told three things to do when you break up with somebody, give yourself time, distance yourself and finally, be silent , no texting , phone calls etc, with time you will eventually forget him, love blossoms, its never something at ... (read in full...)
Should I accept my boyfriend's continued friendship with his ex?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend is currently friends with his ex. However, they were NOT friends when we started dating. They dated for 2 or so years, and that was a couple years ago. But when our relationship really started to advance, a few months in, she ...
A. 2 November 2009: Well pesonally speaking and only from my own personal expierence, I would get out of the relationship.I have had this happen to me, a lady told me her and her ex were text buddys "but we never meet up she said"..turns out they were meeting up. I ... (read in full...)
Should I accept my boyfriend's continued friendship with his ex?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend is currently friends with his ex. However, they were NOT friends when we started dating. They dated for 2 or so years, and that was a couple years ago. But when our relationship really started to advance, a few months in, she ...
A. 2 November 2009: Well pesonally speaking and only from my own personal expierence, I would get out of the relationship.I have had this happen to me, a lady told me her and her ex were text buddys "but we never meet up she said"..turns out they were meeting up. I ... (read in full...)
To cheat or not to cheat? Can mongamy really exist?
Q. Monogamy - can it REALLY exist - or is it natural to struggle with this? I'm asking this question because it seems like everyone cheats. On a marriage, in a relationship, etc. And if they don't it's usually because they "don't want to hurt" th...
A. 29 October 2009: I was with my ex wife for 10 years and never cheated, I looked at other women, but it never went any further, my ex wife cheated on me 9 years ago next month and we divorced, I initially felt I wish I had cheated on her , because I was angry at the ... (read in full...)
Closure needed in the up and down relatinship?
Q. So, she sucked me back in about 3 weeks ago. My own fault, I admit it. She acted weird right away. Stayed with me for a few days. A freind gave me the heads up that she had been on a few dates with a guy the week before. I didn't bring it up to her ...
A. 23 October 2009: Hi I posted yesterday, regarding something similar, your question is about closure, Im four months out it now, her choice, she never told me we were through, just stopped replying to my text (only one I sent her) , I felt she had strung me along too ... (read in full...)
Did I ever mean anything to her?
Q. About 2 years ago I dated a woman who was just out of a 4 year relationship with a guy she was obsessed with, she was on the rebound, we dated for 5 months, she went back to him and I was heartbroken I was in love with her. To make matters worse , ...
A. 23 October 2009: Thanks for both replies,ON A FOOTNOTE , I know in the event if she did text me now, I would not reply , but I think she knew where she was with me emotionally a week or so before we split, so I dont expect her to be in touch with me, I also dont ... (read in full...)
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