A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend ended our long term relationship 2 months ago and i'm still struggling to get over it.We live in a village/small town and so I do occasionally bump into her. Because of this we have kept in contact - maybe once a week/fortnight we might text.i still feel so shit when i see photos of her on the web having fun out at night with other people and when she doesnt reply to a text or whatever.its not like she doesnt want to know me cos sometime she texts me without me doing.all i want to know is how long its supposed to take to completely get over someone and what i can do to make it easier for me?we will bump into each other so i cant not see her and i want to keep in touch with her cos shes a mate.what d i do? please help.Thanks.
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female
reader, BlueBag  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 Personally, I don't think you can be friends with an ex until you have completely got over them. So cut contact with her, give yourself time to heal.
It will be hard bumping into her every now and then, however when you do be civil, say hello but don't get into a long conversation until you're ready.
There is no exact time frame that any of us can give you for you to fully get over her because everyone is different. But time is definitely a healer and you will get there. Just be patient.
Please just don't prolong your agony by continuing contact with her.
Be strong :)
A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (17 November 2009):
 Stop responding to her texts - go cold turkey. You will get over it. I promise:o) try not to engage her in conversation when you do see her for a few months. Give yourself time to heal. Look after yourself - maybe try going on a few dates, even blind ones even if you don't feel like it, just to remind yourself there is life after her. Stop looking at the pictures of her having fun elsewhere - you are torturing yourself. Do what ever it takes to get over it -even if it means just laying there, going out, not going out whatever it takes. Time is a great healer I hope you feel better soon. One day you will wake up, and the pain will be gone. not sure when but it will. :o) xxx
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A
male
reader, manaja +, writes (17 November 2009):
A few years ago somebody dumped me, she lived on my street, so I know how difficult it can be, I used to see her going out , getting picked up by her boyfriend etc.. before she started seeing her boyfriend she would text me as a "friend" ,meet up have a dink with me, but nothing else,I was always hoping we'd get back together, she was using me (like your ex is using you) stupidly I went along with this until she got a boyfriend,then it hurt all over again,twice as much. my advice is, dont text her and dont meet up with her, tell her your busy, make an excuse up, she ended it, so leave it at that , you,ve no kids have you I take it, so besides discussing the weather, what else is there to talk about? If someone ever ended with me again and wanted to remain "text buddys" I would ignore the texts, they/l soon get the message not to bother you again. she's just using you because your familiar to her, in her own head, she see you as a friend a nice person, someone who wont let her down, because you care more than she does and when she meets someone else, she'll expect you to "understand " about it , because she knows your going to be a bit annoyed , but you'll "breeze it" after a few weeks, at the end of the day its not your feelings shes giving much consideration too is it ? Cut it off NOW with her, you'll be glad you did.
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