A
male
age
30-35,
*osie
writes:hi I went with my girlfriend to a falentine ball in february. while we were there a friend asked me to dance. So I asked her is this ok. and she said yes. when i came back se was really upset at me. she said she saw me kiss the girl . and so in this all her friends think the same. i know that i did not kiss that other girl. the problem is she does not belive me. it is 2 monthes later and she brought it up again fore some reason. i am seeing her tomorrow and i don't know how to explain that her thaughts is not true . and we love each other but she almost never tells me how she feels. can i pleas get advice. i really need it. pleasis this always gonna be like this?and also she said to me that when she doesn't see me for like 3 days she starts getting mad at me . but i didnt do nothing. pleas help me understand this closing of emotions and how to fix our relationship because she means the world to me.? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, oosie +, writes (20 April 2011):
oosie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx everyone. And ja dirtball I understand your perspection. Just don't judge. Haha but its cruel truth. We had isues But I also realized it's the feelings inside her thats eating at her.
I know honestly everything is fine now. This website is a reallll y wel way to expres inner feelings an so actually ansuring yourself. with help... thanx macdub really good advice. thanx. And I migt ad we have a really strong relationship. I just didn't understaND THAT SPICIFIC thaughts through a womens perspective. And now its much more clear. We are much more understanding. And I am learning all the fine detail that is a women that matters most. A dirtball no harsh feelings dud. Harsh but halfly true. Hope you all have a great day because you made mine
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): "A women is a very gentel subject wich require a lot of love closure and understanding"
I don't agree. I think your girlfriend is just insecure. Don't be surprised if something else like this happens again.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 HAHAHAHAHA! If you don't want an opinion, don't ask for help on the internet.
I'm glad you have worked this out. I hope she can address her issues that led her to not only falsly accuse you of something, but not let it go either. It all comes back to trust, or rather a lack of it.
Also, just because you don't like someone's assessment of a situation doesn't mean it isn't true. That's not to say I'm right, but I may not be wrong either.
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A
male
reader, oosie +, writes (19 April 2011):
oosie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell Dirtball I really dont apreciate you falsly acusing at the same time you think yo give your opinion or whatever you call it ok.. She is worth the trouble. This was just for understanding the issues in relationships. Not consulting your own will and neads. like you are suppose to do in relationshipsI have sorten this out and would like to put an answer to this question. :A women is a very gentel subject wich require a lot of love closure and understanding. A partner. If you can't be the best friend how can you be comfertable. So when it comes to fals acusing. Don't atack at that instant. She is just geting rid of the cropt up anger inside of her. Let her do this so she can find a calmness again . At such a level that is is alright to say anything at all. Then with respect tel her that this is un neccesary and inapropriate. Take an hour or too and go too hert house just to settel that harch feeling. Let her know you were false acusde , and upset. But talk gentel. Today i have learned that a women needs her space when she does. Can't explain. But the same advice is what counts. THE SMALL THING.
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A
male
reader, macdubh712 +, writes (19 April 2011):
I agree with dirtball on one point; don't apologize for something you didn't do. Now, I don't quite share the same hardline stance that he dirtball does though we are thinking along the same lines. I feel that your GF does have some underlying issues that need to be dealt with. You need to put your foot down about this particular incident and get it through her head that you did not kiss this girl. I'm not sure how good your relationship is or how you two are with each other but a) you ASKED your GF if it was okay to dance with the friend, showing her COURTESY and RESPECT, and b) why the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS would you kiss a girl that 1) you asked your GF for permission to dance with and 2) are dancing with within in sight of your GF? She really needs to look at this without allowing her emotions to cloud her judgement. If you have to get firm with her, get firm with her. I'm not saying disrespect her by any means but sometimes people just need to be grabbed by the facemask and humbled. Once you get her to see that she has made a mountain out of a mole hill (a mountain that has insulted your honor, integrity, ego, and character) then you need to immediately de-escalate and start giving her reassurance. Show her love and support and help her through this by continuing to show her love and support. Allow her to talk about this issue she has whenever she needs and just be there for her. Be a good listener and supporter. All of this is contingent upon how much you value her as your GF and your relationship. If the love you have for her is not enough then definately take dirtball's advice because you can't stay in a situation that won't improve; it will break you down.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): Aww, i'm sorry to here this! You should go a see a therapists/ counselor for couples. She's, either, the jealous type or got underlined issues. If she is the jealous type, then, that's not likely to change because some people are born with a jealous temperment, so it might just be genetic.
If she has underlined issues, then something could of happened, in her past, to make her act this way.
If she thinks, enough of you then she wouldn't want you to be upset or unhappy, she would be willing to go along with you for professional help.
Your only other opption is to find someone who won't do that or stick it out if you don't feel as though you can be without her. Good luck with it
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 April 2011):
She doesn't trust you. This is definitely a bad sign of things to come. There is nothing you can do to make her trust you. If she believes a story that isn't true, and won't let it go, then it's probably best if you walk away. Tell her you won't tolerate her false accusations anymore and you're sick of it. Don't apologize for something you DIDN'T do.
Honestly, she sounds like an immature, untrusting, control freak. You're better off with someone who can act like an adult.
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