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Do you think I might still have a chance with him?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 June 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 June 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have a friend who I've known about four years.

A few years ago he said he had feelings for me. I said I had previously liked him, but at that time i saw us more as just friends.

We kept in touch very close, until I got into a relationship and my partner got in the way of the friendship, I wasn't allowed to see him or talk as often.

I've now ended that relationship, started talking to my friend again and we've been having long text conversations just like we used to. Its been really fun, and I think we're both enjoying the conversation. We haven't met for lunch or anything yet, but I'd like to in the near future.

Our relationship has always been fairly 'online' anyway, as we live in slightly different areas, with a little lack of transport (back then anyway, its a little different now)

Its been about 2 years since he told me had feelings for me.

Do you think I could still have a chance with him now?

He's calling me nicknames etc and being really friendly, but that's how we always where, so I dont know what to think

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A female reader, Euphoria30 Germany +, writes (12 June 2015):

Dear OP,

Instead of answering your question if you still have a chance with him - would you WANT that chance?

I mean, so far your feelings have only been friendly. Do you think you could truly love him, as a partner? If he gave you his heart, would you treat it with love, respect, and caution? Do you feel attracted to him and would like to have a shared sexual life?

If you can't say yes to all of these questions, you shouldn't give this man new hope, just to disappoint him and reject him again. Because I think he's still dreaming of you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2015):

Feelings do change and adjust to situations. Long conversations don't mean a person has any strong romantic-feelings for you. He was a friend, and probably still is. Don't base your feelings on the past, you must know where they stand now. The only way to know is to ask. "Do you still feel the same way about me as you used to?" Be prepared for an honest answer.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 June 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntIt sounds like he is living in a "what if OR if only" moment and is testing the waters to see where he stands so(one more metaphore) sounds like the ball is in your court. Whatcha gonna do?

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (11 June 2015):

Garbo agony auntSince you are not attached to your ex, then meet up with him. See where all that goes. Obviously, your past seems to bring you together and if he meets your criteria go with him.

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