A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So, I seem to have bad luck with women.I personally don't get along with the beliefs of someone who is LGBT, just because of my upbringing. Because of this, my friends and love interests are extremely limited.I have a single lesbian friend, who decided to become lesbian after we had been friends for a while.I find it really odd that a bisexual person can date both genders, but enough of that.My bad luck is that every single crush or girlfriend I've had, has been lesbian or bisexual, which highly conflicts with my beliefs.I really hate myself for it, because it just means that all my options are nonexistent.I live in Utah, USA, where the LGBT community is accepted, but I can't accept it myself, which has also made me very unpopular at school. My friends all have their own beliefs, and we look past all that.I just need to find a way to shift my interests to something more acceptable (personally) so I'll stop freaking myself out. Is there a way to only be interested in straight women, or am I cursed?
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female
reader, Euphoria30  +, writes (1 July 2015):
Dear OP,I think you are somehow struggling with yourself: On the one hand, you've put yourself in an outsider position by openly disapproving of LBGT people and their values. On the other hand, you seem to be very interested in girls that are lesbian or bi. I know it's a bit bold to make assumptions over the internet, but if I dare say my opinion: I think your head and your heart are not in tune, at all.Your head is judging people that your heart is drawn to. Your upbringing is in conflict with the values of your peers. I believe that first, you have to solve that inner conflict of yours. ADMIT to being attracted to those girls. Figure out what it is that attracts you, rather than judge it negatively. Maybe it's the non-conformism? The originality? The different way they behave regarding to gender-norms?I want to encourage you to allow yourself to form your own opinion, regardless of peers and family.
A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (30 June 2015):
 Homosexual people, by their own statistics, comprise about 3% of the population. Combined with bisexual folks that number hovers at around 7% at the most. This means that if you are randomly approaching girls you have only 1.5% chance that you would run into a lesbian assuming half of homosexuals are female. Similarly, you'd have only 3.5% chance that you run into a lesbian plus bisexual. The fact that you run into so many is because you have not "diversified" as to where you look because minority behaviors tend to self segregate themselves in order to comprise a stronger minority. Therefore, if you want a straight girl then start hitting on them in some other places. As for your view that homosexual behavior is unacceptable, make sure that you also do not accept the moniker of guilt that the current propaganda wants to foist on people who find it disgusting. They may claim that being gay is normal, but if that is something that you disagree it is your right and frankly, you may want to seek rights to be able to express that without being suffocated by those who claim moral higher ground telling you otherwise by using various argumentative sophistry. In general, sexual convictions should be held private so those who plaster sexual orientation as a base of public discourse have, by far violated norms of sanity. So, no, you are not cursed and by all means, look for a girl somewhere else other then the den that is making you so ill.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (30 June 2015):
Wo! Slow down! I think you’re getting a bit carried away here. If these girls are lesbian, it’s not your beliefs that are the issue. They’re gay, so they won’t have a crush on you in return, whatever you think. There is no one kind of gay person, so you can’t guarantee that you will only fall for straight women in the future. You just need to make sure you know what they are if you think you’ve fallen enough for some-one to tell them, so that if they are indeed gay, you can know immediately that it’s not going to happen. This is not a curse or anything like that.
The majority of girls will be heterosexual, simply because the majority of the population is. Many may consider themselves gay or bisexual as a phase, whilst a smaller number will, in time, realise that they actually are gay or bisexual. At your young age boys and girls can be confused about a lot of things. The most important thing is just to be kind and considerate, and make lots of friends. Then you will find out whether they are gay, straight or whatever. The odds are highly in favour of some-one you meet in the future that you like, being straight too.
As for your beliefs, people can often disagree quite sharply about things but still be friends. Even if you have misgivings about LGB people, there may be plenty of other things you can focus on that you do have in common. It’s just a case of respecting some-one else for thinking differently, as you seem to, and not dwelling on those points of disagreement. I think you’re doing okay, simply by asking this thoughtful question.
I wish you all the very best.
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