A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Please help me, i'm very confused. I'm a 17 y/o straight girl, or as far as i'm concerned straight. And I never had any questions about my sexuality and was always certain of it, until I realized that some of the things I did when I was younger. First, getting attracted to girl on girl porn since it was the first porn I was introduced to, and also becoming turned on to boobs everytime I saw porn. This was at a pretty young age, and I should have definitely not been looking at it then. I should probably also mention I get turned on by every type of porn, but mostly girl on girl. Secondly, I got very turned on when I was around 12 and going through puberty. I was showering with my friend and I can't really remember how it happened but we both felt each other's boobs. I'm just worried now because i'm going to college next year, i'll be dorming with someone i've never met before and I haven't gotten turned on by my friends showering with me since, and I have showered with them. So i'm just really confused. I've never had a crush or was sexually attracted to any girls in real life, except for that one time when I was 12, and i'm just really confused because people say you just know if you're gay/bi...But, I don't know that, like i've dug deep and I still feel straight, maybe bicurious, what do you all think? Do you think i'm straight, curious or just bisexual?
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female
reader, Glorious.Glo  +, writes (8 August 2015):
 Firstly the moment you start questioning wether u gay or straight, right there's a problem.
As time goes u will figure it out and it's all up to you which one u want to be, as life is about choices.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015): sweetheart you are still very young and in the absence of a special relationship you are digging to find something wrong with yourself .Early exposure to porn is not a good thing,in fact it can be totally traumatic and this still haunts you. As it was a form of emotional and sexual abuse i will help you to forget it .Firstly you imagine a tv screen with all that going on and then you imagine changing channels to something much more innocent like a weather report or anything that is non sexual ,then you imagine leaning forward and switching the tv off.Finally you imagine walking out of the room and shutting the door and stepping into a beautiful grassy field with flowers in ..this technique is used with war victims who have trouble forgetting the terribke things theyve seen. You practice it whenever you find that your thoughts are upsetting you.Dont worry about your roomie..forget about boobs and finally give yourself time to heal and to know who you would like to be.It seems to me that you would like to be straight but are concerned that you havent met a guy yet.Dont worry..college is full of guys wishing they could be the one to a beautiful young over sixteen like yourself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015): My guess is that you are straight. Age 12 is far too young to determine a person's sexual orientation. Even 17 is still too young. I have read that lots of straight women like watching girl-on-girl porn, although in real life they are not sexually attracted to other women. A lesbian is a woman who is not interested in men. I have also read that many women who become lesbians have been abused by men in their past. Many people of your age are confused about their sexuality. If you start to lust after women or start chasing women, then you are lesbian for sure, although not necessarily for life. But this not what you are doing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015): You have plenty of time to find out... Surely, going to college and meeting a variety of people is an excellent time to find out more about yourself?
Experiment and find out. Don't do things that you are not ready for. And also,look up the info on the fluidity of sexuality.
We are trying to put everyone in boxes: straight,gay,bi,metro,Muslim,Christian,Atheist...what if you don't fit any...or you fit several?
Don't narrow your view of the world. Open it up.
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A
female
reader, Euphoria30  +, writes (8 August 2015):
Dear OP,
I believe that you are nervous about college and sharing a room. And that's the main reason why you are overthinking this.
Did you ever hear about the Kinsey Scale? A lot of people are somewhere on a spectrum between completely straight and completely gay/lesbian.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
We like to put people in one of three boxes: Straight, bi, gay/lesbian. But most people I've talked to (if they are honest) land somewhere in between.
I am bisexual and open about it, so a lot of people feel they can trust me and confess to me that even though they identify as straight, there was this one time they had sex or fell in love with someone of their gender, or that they are still curious to do so. And also, most people I know who are out and proud as gay have this one first girl- or boyfriend in the past.
What I am trying to say: Reality is complex. In the end, people also "choose" to a certain degree to say "I am straight" or "I am homosexual", and don't mention things that would blur their identification. What you describe is nothing out of the ordinary for a woman that identifies as straight, and certainly nothing to be scared of. You'll only get to know how straight/bisexual you are in the course of a lifetime. Maybe for the next 10 years you'll feel straight, but then fall in love with a woman. Or the other way around. Either way, you can be happy. It's just.. well.. more confusing that you may have thought.
Have fun in College!
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