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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My bf ended it recently, we'd been getting on so well it was something that was unexpected. Our sex life was great and always very enjoyable.He told me he loved me and though we hadn't made any long term plans for a future together ie marriage etc there was commitment. So it came as a bit of a shock when he said he'd met someone else and to leave him alone.Even though we were lovers we were best friends too and shared everything. I know that he's got a few money problems and thought that maybe the stress of xmas had just gotten to him. We have split up in the past over trivial things but have always gotten back together. Anyway I left it a few weeks and asked him whether he had any doubts about our split, hoping for a reconcilliation. But, he said no without a doubt. I started dating because I missed his company so much, the friendship more than anything. He's found out that I'm dating and is now completely blanking me. I don't understand, he said we're over but the way he is acting suggests that he's jealous. I'd love us to get back to where we were, really don't know what to do.
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best friend, jealous, money, sex life, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): Wasn't it him that broke it off with you in the first place and he admitted that he had met some one else so why is he jealous? It sounds like he wanted you to be heartbroken and pining away for him still!! This has come as a shock to him that you can move on with your life and meet some one new and start dating some one new(just like he did).
But if you only started dating this guy cos you missed your ex's company - thats no reason either cos both of you are goin to end up getting hurt in the long run!!
Think long and hard about what or who it is you want in your life...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): I am not sure what you mean by his blanking you since he found out you are dating...do you mean he is cussing you out acting angry at you? Perhaps you are misinterpreting what it is he is mad about....maybe he is not so much as jealous as he is offended that you may be rubbing it in his face.
It sounds to me that he is not interested in getting back together with you, he said as much and he has moved on with someone else....I think your maybe you are feeling more insulted or slighted than you are wishing for a reconcilliation....it was not nice of him to leave you suddenly for someone else, but he made no real commitment to you, and you may have placed more seriousness on the relationship than he did....I am sorry this happened to you, but I think you need to just forget about a reconcilliation, he is not giving you any real signs that it is time for one....the best thing you can do is to just realize that the timing was not right for this relationship to become more serious, and there are more boyfriends in your future.
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A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (7 January 2007):
 It sounds to me like your ex-bf has a pretty high opinion of himself and is hurt because you aren't so devistated by his breaking things off with you that you are unable to function. I think this is pretty common. My ex husband was P*ssed! when he found out that I was dating other men after we separated. He thought that I would be so devistated that he would be the last person I had any interest in for the rest of my life. Sorry Charlie, it's over, so I'm moving on too. I think he was a bit jealous that I had found someone to date before he did. Anyway, don't let this guys guilt trip stop you from moving on, and move on is exactly what you should do! He'll relax and soon realize his jealousy is not going to get him anywhere and to expect you NOT to see anyone else is unreasonable. After all, he made the decision the relationship was over, YOU made the decision it's time to move on.
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A
male
reader, DocSilverback +, writes (7 January 2007):
 Are you sure that the jealousy lies with just him? You sound like you would take him back no matter what he has done to you. You stated that you have broken up several times over trivial things. Who did the breaking? If he did all the breaking, I suggest that you move on with your life and leave his alone. Too much doubt here.
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