A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm getting really frustrated in my sex life at the moment. Me and my partner have a good sex life but lately, I'm getting bored. We make love and, although he tries to make it about me too (we have toys and he gives me oral etc), I never come during intercourse. I know many women don't and this isn't the problem.After he's satisfied, I want to carry on playing with me and my toys and I want him to be involved in me being satisfied, but he's not interested once he's done his thing. I am getting to the point where I don't want to get into sex because I know how long it takes me to have a orgasm and I don't want to annoy him into helping me or make him leave the room while I do it alone!He's a giving lover and I appreciate that but how can I get him to be more interested in me coming? I know I don't orgasm easily, so he must get bored, but I want to enjoy it too! Am I asking too much? Thanks
View related questions:
orgasm, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DocSilverback  +, writes (7 January 2007):
 Try telling him that you want to play with each other and with your toys BEFORE you engage into intercourse. That way you can use this time to become aroused (also he) and possibly orgasm. If he is a quick squirter you will possibly never have an orgasm during intercouse. Sorry, but I have a problem with you saying that you might annoy him or him becoming bored. That just tells me that he wants to rush into pleasing himself. Does he by chance wear a white muscled t-shirt? Sorry again. Your pleasure is just as important as his is. If your suggestion does not work, keep your toys within reach.
A
female
reader, DeeDoc +, writes (7 January 2007):
 THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: No sweetie, you are not asking for a lot, in fact, you are not asking for much at all. You said that he is a giving lover. I am not so sure that I see this if he calls it quits after he has his orgasm. Please stop feeling this sense of you are not worth an orgasm because it's too much trouble or that you would possibly annoy him. Annoy should not be associated with two people sharing an intimate moment. You know, lots of women cannot have an orgasm as quickly as they would like. If you always think you have to rush into having an orgasm before he has his, your thoughts are focused on this and not what's going on with your body. Please, talk to him about this. Share your feelings. I know that if you were to stop suddenly right before he ejaculates, he would probably want to know why (actually, he would probably become un-glued!). Communication is a must in my opinion. Your satisfaction is just as important as his and not be placed second. Good luck to you sweetie. XX
...............................
A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (7 January 2007):
No you are certainly not asking to much. You are right that not many women come during intercourse and that most need clit stimulation. Also some women do take a while to come that is quite normal to. Reall the only answer is for you come before he does, because usually after men have come they feel tired and satisfied, and therfore are usually no longer in the mood.
Now you are worried that he may get bored, but |Im quite sure that is very unlikely !! Most men I know love giving oral sex and most men I know say they could do it for hours.
Now it all depends on how confident youare about discussing things sexually with your boyfriend. Using your vibrator whilst he fingers you or gives you oral is a great way of reaching orgasm. If you do this perhaps just moan and say dont stop thats lovely I want to come. Maybe again if you have the confidence tell him that sometimes it takes you a while to come. That way you may feel more relaxed, and come quicker anyway. You sound confident in the fact he is a good lover and wants to please you so Im sure he will do anything to help you come. Also once you have come he has no pressure in how long he lasts and will enjoy his bit.
He will love the fact you are open and honest and tell him you would like to come before he does. Promise dont worry bout him getting bored, have a glass of wine relax and enjoy.
...............................
|
