A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my name's Joe, and I have a dilemma..Is it natural to fall in love with two people? I mean I've been going out with this one girl for 6 months, thinking that it's going somewhere.. and then recently, after meeting up with my ex-girlfriend for a chat, I'm getting what would seem to be the "in love" feelings I had for her in the past..I don't know what to do.. I told them.. my girlfriend and I now feel damaged in this relationship, and everytime I'm not with her I think of my Ex... as much as I hate the fact that what I am doing is totally wrong and will hurt them both.. I can't help feeling this way.. Please help me, I don't know what to do, and I fear I shall lose them both if I keep at it like this...Thanks Joe
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): hey man i am in the same situation.my ex who i loved alot becuse hse was my first has been calling me and telling my friends that she still has feelings for me but me and my current gf are madly in love and i don't want to lose her but i also want my ex back in my life.i don't know what to do besides stay with my current girlfriend and try to forget about my ex.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): hellow am also in the same situation my current gf broke up with her boyfreind in april of 2006 the reason for the break up is that she had found him in bed with three different women and also went to the extent of proposing love to the house servant.
in august i met her and i vowed not to do as exactly what the ex boyfreind did she agreed,
am madly deeply in love with her,but the thing is the ex keeps calling her and even sends her credit of which she readily recieves,apparently the ex boyfreind wants to buy her a phone,and she tells me she,ll get the phone and no strings between them ,she sometimes doesnt pick up the phone when the ex calls her.
sometimes we makingb love and he calls she picks up the phone and they talk for a bit.joachim tanzania
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): if you're still thinking of your ex then you must have feelings left for her, especially if you've only met up for a chat. thats got to tell you something! i guess you have to weigh up who would keep you the most interested and who excites you the most. although it's probably safe to stay with your current gf rather than take the risk of going back to your ex...would you regret not giving it another shot? who drives you the most and challenges you...because to me thats important. a safe relationship isn't going to keep you going forever.
i would be honest with your current gf...tell her you still have feelings for your ex and that you need time to figure stuff out. talk to your ex too about any fears you have...the thing is you're not going to know if your ex gf is any different to the past or not unless you keep in touch with her. good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): You know Joe, a lot of people do not get that love is not a feeling, it really is a concsious decision that we make, a committment to make sacrifices for the happiness of another, we BECOME a loving person, it is all about action, of being a good partner.
It is possible to love two people at the same time, it is not possible to be a loving partner to two people at the same time because there is not committment to the relationship.
If you want to date both women for awhile until you are ready to make a choice then I see nothing wrong with this as long as both women understand that they are not in a monogomous relationship with you, understand that you may get dumped by one of them, so if you are ready to make your choic then do so, if you aren't then run the risk of losing one of them....it is a tough place to be in, but be aware that you may be idealizing the past and forgetting about what broke you two up in the first place....so try and think about what went wrong. If you want some time to think, then tell the new girl that you want to take a break and she should date others, this is a risk for you as well....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2007): Joe,
I am in the same situation. I am in love with my ex-boyrfiend and I have a current boyfriend who is great. I have been with my current guy for 2.5 yrs. Just in the last week, my ex and I started texting and I can't stop thinking about him. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose either. I have been making myself crazy over this. What do I do? I am miserable right now.
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A
female
reader, x.BrokenxHearts.x +, writes (7 January 2007):
 Hey, I felt the same bout two lads my current bf and ex but then I realised it was just the memories with my ex that I was in love with because they were all so great maybe its the same for you or maybe u just think you love ur current gf but if ur thinkin bout ur ex more than current gf its more than likely that u still love ur ex and not ur current gf. Tell me how it goes. x
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A
female
reader, mitta +, writes (7 January 2007):
Can you really love two people at the same time? I think real love is monogamous, mutually exclusive of other people. Meybe you're still in love with your ex and just really care for your girlfriend. Maybe you didnt get over her properly before you got into your current relationship.
My advice to you is that if you cant love your girlfriend exclusively, the way she wants you to then you should end it. You need to be a man, be honest with them. Who do you love more? thats what it boils down to. Its a hard decision to come to but its important you do it soon.
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A
male
reader, DocSilverback  +, writes (7 January 2007):
 This sounds vaguely familiar. Oh well. Do yourself and each female in this situation a favor....let them both down easy. It is not fair to either one of them. I believe you have feelings for both of them.....love is not in the scenerio.
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