Want my ex back, but I don't want a non-committal relationship with him!
Q. Hi there, My ex and I broke up due to circumstantial pressures (I had to move in with him due to other problems when we weren't at all ready and we just both clammed up in panic, then I found a place and moved out - the break up was decided by him t...
A. 11 October 2005: I think I know where you are comming from, you don't want him to just use you for sex but you don't want to scare him away by being too serious? Thats a tough one. But the hardest part is over because you seem to know what you want! Would I be right ... (read in full...)
A woman at my husband's work is coming between us!
Q. This is hard to talk about because I don't even know myself. But me and my husband been together for 15 years and we’ve had our ups and down, but 2 weeks ago he said to me he’s not sure if he loves me or not, or if he just here for with the kids. I...
A. 11 October 2005: Your husband asked you why would a 21 year old be interested in him? The correct answer needs to be that he is so sexy hot delicous that any woman would interested in him. Making love with your husband must not be a rare event and neither must pure ... (read in full...)
My heart and mind conflict about whether to break up...
Q. If your mind tells you that you want to break up but your heart tells you that you love them...which do you choose?...
A. 11 October 2005: Neither, follow your intuition!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so cold that I'm becoming depressed.
Q. Why cant he just show me he cares? Help me, I love my partner but I feel we will be over soon - if not already. Certain events have happened during the course of the last year to cause me to be insecure and depressed. The problem is - he ju...
A. 11 October 2005: Okay, Why do you feel you need this guy? You are in a bad way BECAUSE of him! The way I see it, you looking for love from this guy is like the jews going to hilter and asking him to care for them because they were persecuted! You are in an abusive ... (read in full...)
Why do women find "bad boys" so attractive?
Q. This is a question aimed at women (however, men are just as welcome to reply) Why do girls choose the bad boys? I mean why do you pick those that treat you like shit and play/cheat on you then those that respect and are honest to you? One th...
A. 11 October 2005: Women choose the bad/goodlooking boys, the more gentlemanly/ugly type get left behind! The same is could be said when it comes to men choosing women, the goodlooking/bitches get the guys first and the ugly/nice girls are left behind, I just think ... (read in full...)
Why do women find "bad boys" so attractive?
Q. This is a question aimed at women (however, men are just as welcome to reply) Why do girls choose the bad boys? I mean why do you pick those that treat you like shit and play/cheat on you then those that respect and are honest to you? One th...
A. 11 October 2005: Well I think there are many layers to this, The first thing I think of is that a lot of women have had pretty distant relationships with their fathers and often go for a man who is just as emotionally unavailable as thier dad was when they were ... (read in full...)
Snooped on his phone and found some messages that make me wonder if he's cheating...
Q. When staying at my boyfriend's house the other month I found a dating services newsletter in the post he had left it in his room, obviously put to one side. I have since looked on his mobile and found text messages from online dating services. I ...
A. 11 October 2005: My advice would be to say nothing to him at all for now, you never know he may have subscribed to a dating thing ages ago and is still getting mail and texts from it. Sure snooping is not good but whats done is done. He might not want to tell you ... (read in full...)
We're really in love, but our parents don't know about it!
Q. Hi I'm 13 and my boyfriend is 18. I want to start this off by saying yes, we are sexually active and we both dont see why age matters so much. We are both in love; I mean real love! Some say why is he into a younger person and why am I into an ...
A. 11 October 2005: This is really hard because at 13 you are vulnerable and when I was 13 I fell in love with a friend of my brothers who was 18. I was head over heels in love with him. But looking back now I am glad he didn't take advantage of my innocence. Ya sure ... (read in full...)
Will our 10-year age gap be a problem?
Q. He is 28 and I am 18 and he has a 8 year old daughter. However our age difference has become a problem for both sides of the story. We are afraid that our families won't accept the relationship. I have tried to mention the situation to my mother. ...
A. 11 October 2005: Hi,
In my opinion it is not age gaps that cause the problems in relationships, it is maturity gaps! You could be in your twenties and be with a man your own age who acts like a kid, or a man in his forties who acts like a kid. There is an elev... (read in full...)
Can't believe my ex could say he loved me in September, but be going out with someone else now!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months in July. It's my first serious relationship and we really loved each other, but another guy was making it impossible for us and we kept fighting. Now that other guy has moved on and we told each other in...
A. 11 October 2005: To help you understand what happened imagine love is like fire. When a piece of paper catches fire it does so easily but the fire burns out quickly. When a piece of hard wood catches fire it takes a longer time and often needs several tries to get ... (read in full...)
Our unequal sex drives are leaving me, well, frustrated!
Q. I have been with my g/f for 10 years and we have 2 children together. I have always had a high sex drive while my g/f has a very low sex drive,. I have been ok with this until recently as I now find myself getting very upset when we don't have sex...
A. 11 October 2005: Hi,
This is really hard because you can't control another person no matter how much you try. The only thing you can do is tell your woman how you feel. Try to do it sometime when she is not stressed out or tired with the kids. Don't do it if she ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my ex? We've tried everything!
Q. My ex boyfriend (28) and I (20) have been on and off for the past 11 months. I was so depressed after the breakup, I lost 40lbs. He says its over and he'll never be with me, but every time I see him it's as if nothing ever happened, and when he ...
A. 11 October 2005: Hi,
Letting go is something that we do only when we want to. Someone is getting something out of hanging on. Ask yourself what are you getting. Is it hope that maybe someday you will work things out and you will be together? Ask what you think he i... (read in full...)
Engaged to my partner, but I can't stop thinking of another guy...
Q. I've been with my partner for 18months and we are due to marry next year. I love him loads and want to be with him, but I have recently bumped into an old friend who told me that he'd always had feelings for me. Now I can't stop thinking about him ...
A. 11 October 2005: Hi,
I believe that you must STOP TRYING to stop thinking about this other guy. Its a bit like trying not to think about the colour blue! What you are feeling is OK! It's normal for us to wonder what would have been when we run in to an old flam... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, but my boyfriend spends all his time with his female "friends"...
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up last month on the 26th. I found out I was pregnant. I told him, we got back together this month. He seemed happy about it, but he doesn't want to do right. I ask him to come over when he's at home sometimes. He says he'...
A. 28 September 2005: Hi Desuhnna,
You are on very shakey ground here. You need to get you're priorities right
1) Most important focus on your health, look after yourself and eat well. Take some yoga classes and keep up good relations with your family and friends.... (read in full...)
When he told me "it's over", he was just having a last fling. Now I don't know what to do!
Q. I moved 120 miles 10 months ago to buy a house with my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 and a half years now. 2 weeks ago he woke up and told me he thought it was over. He cried and was very adamant. I went back to my Mum's for a week. It was ...
A. 28 September 2005: Hi,
It sounds like your guy made one hell of a mistake and regreted it really quickly. Before I finished reading your post I knew what you were going to say. You sound like an emotionally healthy woman and he sounds like an emotionally healthy man.... (read in full...)
Could he really be over his ex? And why do I feel so threatened?
Q. Hello, Me and my boyfriend have been together for a while now. The problem is I've met his ex twice. She has cystic fibrosis. He says she is dying and will die in maybe 2 years, is that right? She's in her 30's. He was with her 21 years. Is he ...
A. 27 September 2005: How can you compete with a dying woman? The answer is you can't but the good news is you don't have to. By the sounds of things she won't be around long enough, God forbid they find a miracle cure for cystic fibrosis!!! Are you afraid that because ... (read in full...)
I can't understand why my boyfriend's family say such hurtful things about me and my dad!
Q. Hello my name is Emma and me and my boyfriend have been with each other for about 10 months now. I love going out with him but I find his family a real problem. I've tried so hard to get on with them but I just can't. I'm not very confident as it is ...
A. 27 September 2005: Hi Emma,
From what you are saying it sounds as if your'e boyfriend is not sticking up for you when his family disrespect you. You are saying that you are afraid to say anything incase you cause arguments between you and your boyfriend, this impl... (read in full...)
Why does he keep taking photos of guys at the gym?
Q. I am 25 and my boyfriend is 28. Recently he has been banned from the gym for taking photos of men getting dressed; so he went to another gym in the city and was banned for doing the same thing! Now he's joined another gym in the locality, and I ...
A. 27 September 2005: Hi Katrina,
What are you doing with this guy? He won't tell you why he is taking pictures of men getting dressed? Why do you trust him? I wouldn't be surprised if he was taking pictures of you that you didn't know about. He could be lifting up the ... (read in full...)
How much is too large an age gap?
Q. I am 28 and my boyfried is 2 1/2 years younger. It's not an issue for us, but is that too big a gap? His friends don't seem to approve although they are my age. Princess...
A. 27 September 2005: Hi,
Are you sure that it is an age gap issue? 2 and a 1/2 years is hardley worth talking about. I would find out a bit more about why exactly his friends don't approve, that is if you are so bothered. Personally I couldn't care less myself. I thin... (read in full...)
We'll probably get married. The problem is, I don't know if we're in a relationship yet!
Q. I've been communicating with this wonderful guy for the last nine months. We both live in the same country and have known each other since babies basically but we because re-acquainted after a long absence. I study in London now and we communic...
A. 27 September 2005: Clarify!!! There is nothing like throwing a little light on the subject. Ask him in as few words as possible "are we a dating couple?" or something like that. It requires a yes or no answer. Straight. If ye can't communicate on this basic level then ... (read in full...)
With him, it's all or nothing... and right now, I have nothing.
Q. I miss the sex with him, and can't fathom being sexual with anyone else other then him. What should I do? We broke up and he moved out back to his house which ia 250 miles from me. I started driving up to see him again, but he pushed us living b...
A. 27 September 2005: You are suffering withdrawls. Literally it sounds like!!! I don't know, but I think that some guys are good at sex and not much else!! That's the truth. If he is not interested in being just your sex toy well there is not much that can be done. I ... (read in full...)
The end is in sight for our relationship. Should we just break up now?
Q. My boyfriend and I met at my Uni and have been together for 7 months. He was away for 4 months this summer visiting his parents in his home state, but we remained a couple. Now he's back, but says he will be leaving back to his home state in 3 ...
A. 27 September 2005: Hi,
I would stay 'till the end. Like a favourite dessert I would savour him to the very last bite!!!!!... (read in full...)
Things were great at first. Now he's quiet and tired and the sex has disappeared...
Q. I've been with my fella for 9 months. Everything was great at first but recently things have changed. He doesn't seem to make the effort and with regards to sex, he won't unless I initiate it. I love him dearly, he's 38, I'm 26. He's a quiet pe...
A. 27 September 2005: Hi,
First thing you need to do is ask him if he is having an affair. I'm sorry but from everything you said his behavior is showing all the classic signs of an affair. If he denies that he is, go by your gut feeling, watch his body language as he a... (read in full...)
I'm married, she has a boyfriend, but I feel like we're meant to make each other happy!
Q. I am a 39 year old married man with a 1 child. I had an affair about 8 years ago, I was found out, we went through a really tough time but managed to hold on. I have never felt quite the same about us since that time and I feel that it is only ...
A. 27 September 2005: Your question, why must life be so hard? Maybe because we create our own reality? Mabey because what goes around comes around? Maybe because some people can't stay faithful? Maybe because a lot of people don't know what they want and don't want what ... (read in full...)
I'm nervous about going public with my attraction to my best friend...
Q. I have been best mates with my friend for about 4 years now. I am 19 years old and she is 17. We kissed not long ago and have a lot of horny fun together. I don't think I'm gay - maybe bisexual - but I'm so scared of going public with her. I'm...
A. 27 September 2005: Hi,
You first of all need to accept that yes some people will look at you funny, and some people won't take any notice at all, and some people might look at ye and think it's great. Once you accept this and actually visualise it happening, it migh... (read in full...)
I never stopped thinking of my old flame, so when we met again...
Q. Last night I went out with my friend and bumped into a man I fell in love with at school. He was my soulmate. I have been married 8 years been with my husband 14. All this time I have thought about what could have been. We did not sleep together...
A. 26 September 2005: Hi,
You want to know why you feel so strongly about this old flame. The one you know to be your soul mate? You can not say you truly love someone unless you know them so well that you know their bad qualities as well as their good qualities. The ... (read in full...)
My pregnancy drove my boyfriend back to his ex. Is this really my fault, like he says?
Q. I would like some help as the problem I have is eating me up inside. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years and have always had an issue with his ex wife and their child, in the sense that she rings him a couple of times every day to see i...
A. 26 September 2005: Hi, you sound so troubled, the thing that struck me when I was reading your problem was that you mention that you think you are losing him, and then you act like that was a bad thing! I'm sorry but it really does not sound like you are ever going to ... (read in full...)
The guy wasn't interested when he was single, but he is now, since he has a girlfriend! What's going on?
Q. Dear Cupid, About 5 months ago I told a guy that I really liked him but he turned my down and exclaimed that we should just be friends. I told him that I had got the wrong impression and he was giving me false signals. Now he tells me that he...
A. 26 September 2005: Try finding someone who isn't so confused about their feelings. It seems to me this guy is playing someone for a fool and if you don't want it to be you then run for the hills. You could try just asking him really simply what he means by what he ... (read in full...)
After a fight, my husband can sulk for days...
Q. I have only been married for 4 months and even though we are very much in love, whenever we argue my husband sulks for about 3 days. He has occasionally spent the night at his parents when we have fallen out, knowing it upsets me. He also punishes ...
A. 20 September 2005: Hi,
Your husband need to realise that his behaviour is a form of emotional abuse. This is the way that he deals with confrontation or pain but that does not make it ok. I have an idea for you, it could work if you are willing to try it. First work... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend right, that "all blokes watch porn"?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend has always watched porn and I only have a problem with it because it makes me feel inadeqaute. Is it normal for all men to watch porn? (he is 34) I am particularly worried now because he has just set up the internet and I k...
A. 20 September 2005: Hi,
I know how you feel as I have been through something similar, porn can cause major problems in relationships, however it can be worked out. When it comes to porn sometimes a compromise can be reached. I hope that your guy is sensitiv... (read in full...)
How do I handle the interloper who seems interested in my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend is ten years older than me and is very loving. However whenever we go out with a group of his friends there is one girl (22) who is very pretty and he always dances with her and seeks her attention. It is obvious that she is charmed ...
A. 20 September 2005: Hi,
I always say a woman needs to trust her intuition, it could be that you are jealous of this girl and maybe you would admit to being a bit jealous. However I don't think this is the underlying problem here. I would not be happy if I was out with... (read in full...)
Not sure where we stand! Are we dating? Are we friends?
Q. I was seeing a guy 9 months ago for about 6 weeks, we both been single for 18 months due to bad relationship breakdowns. We got on well. Then we said I wasn't taking it seriously enough, that he was falling in love with me, etc., I was shocked and ...
A. 19 September 2005: Hi,
I think that it was all going a bit too fast for him maybe, or thats how it sounds to me. You are not really sure either. If you meet up with him in a couple of weeks time well and good, see what happens then, but I wouldn't hold my breath wait... (read in full...)
Why can't my friends see that they're dating losers?
Q. Why is it that I can see the men my friends date are losers, and yet they still think that they are perfect? It's almost like they can see the bus coming but just stand on the road until they are squashed. I am normally the one to scrape them off ...
A. 19 September 2005: It is refreshing to hear someone that knows the true worth of a womans love. You probably have or had a really nice Dad in your life. Experts say that women usually go for the same type of man as her father. That makes sense to me. Girls need lots ... (read in full...)
I'm married and a father. but I long to be with my lover...
Q. I am 25 and have been married to my wife for only 16 months. We have a wonderful baby daughter of 6 months. The problem is we don't have anything in common and don't share any interests. I don't feel in love with her anymore, and I suspect she feel...
A. 19 September 2005: You are loking for somebody to tell you that it is okay to leave your wife! I don't think that is going to happen. However I do hear you are not happy or satisfied in your marriage. Having a baby really really means that you have a responsibility to ... (read in full...)
I need to see the person I'm with, and my boyfriend doesn't seem to understand that!
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for a year....he had flown down to see me about a month after meeting and we had a good time so we decided to try this as I had never tried being in a long distance relationship. He had been open to ...
A. 19 September 2005: Hi,
sorry to hear you are having dificulty deciding what this all means. It sounds to me as if you are both at different places in terms of how involved you are with the relationship, you want more contact and he seemed fine with the way things were... (read in full...)
Should I help out my engaged friend by having sex with him?
Q. I really want a engaged man!! We have spent the night together after a few drinks and have been out a lot. After that we are so good togther! His fiancee lives miles away and he tells me how much he needs sexual attention all the time as he hasn'...
A. 19 September 2005: Mmmh well, I wouldn't do it, but you don't want to know what I would do, you want to know if it would be ok if you did it, will what anybody says here really make any difference to you? It is a question of morals here and after a few drinks morals ... (read in full...)
I fancy my teacher and I don't know if I should tell him...
Q. Hi everyone, I wondered if anyone can help me. I am 16 and I am really friendly with a 32 year old male teacher at my school. He is like a best friend to me he has helped me through some really tough times in my life. I tell him everything, but I ...
A. 19 September 2005: Hi There,
I don't think you should tell him. If he is as nice as you say he is you will really be putting him on the spot. He is not allowed to date his students, even if you were an adult student he would still be fired immediately if he was foun... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sister wants to make him choose between me and our baby, or her and his mum!
Q. I have a big problem. My boyfriend and I have been going out together for 2 years. We are extremely happy and always have been. We are best friends and love each other so much. To our joy I recently found out I was pregnant (unexpectadly). Now we a...
A. 19 September 2005: What will happen.
Here is my prediction- you will hold on to this bone as if your life depended on it. Gnawing at it every day. You will drive yourself mad but will still carry on. Every day you will still be saying "how could she say that abo... (read in full...)
Want to start things anew with my new love, but scared to leave the only life I know!
Q. Hi, I have been with my partner for 18 years. I am 35 years old and we have 3 lovely children together. A few years ago I started to go out with a girlfriend of mine who was single and I started to have flings with men they didn't mean anything...
A. 18 September 2005: Being in love is a state of mind that waxes and wanes. Loving somebody just goes on and on and on. You can start by loving your patrtner more, give him lots of attention. Don't throw it away for the hope that the grass is greener. Stick it out and ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of my abusive boyfriend
Q. Please help I just got beaten very badly and need advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. He and I have had a completely trustful, honest, supportive relationship. Yet every now and then it can be a verbally abusive ...
A. 18 September 2005: This is what probably will happen. When you have calmed down and are over the shock I would say that you will give him at least one more chance actually I see you giving him lots more chances. In fact you will probably start making excuses for him ... (read in full...)
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