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female
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*ewdness
writes: Hi I'm 13 and my boyfriend is 18. I want to start this off by saying yes, we are sexually active and we both dont see why age matters so much. We are both in love; I mean real love! Some say why is he into a younger person and why am I into an older person? Because like I said, we don't think age matters. Well here's the thing: he has recently moved out of his dad's home and moved to his friends', but his dad's wife is my mom's supervisor, so we all know each other. I know that if any of our parents would find out they would freak and we're scared to tell them, because they don't understand true love, and we're sick of having to sneak behind my mom and dad's backs! What should I do? Thx for your time - Lewdness
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): Hi Iam 13 years old and I have a boyfriend that is 13 years old. We been going out a month aready and you been going out behind my parents backs. And I'am really scared if they found out I'am going out with someone.Why,because I can't have a boyfriend into Iam sixteen.But i really like this guy.What should I do?Help me please!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2006): Number one, its illegal. Kay, even if it wasnt; would you have intentions of sticking with him for at least 7 more years and getting married? If not, then you'll be emotionally scarred for life when the two of you break up. Even if was a mutual break-up, having sex so young isnt the best idea. Period. I myself think it impossible for someone of your age to actually be in love. I dont care how your feelings are, its not love. I guess i shouldnt be so judgemental but the people Iv know when there ONLY 13 have fallen out of it and realized it just lust. I have a niece of 12, almost 13, who confessed her love for her boyfriend and told me she would never lose this feeling. I contragulated her, obviously not going to ruin her fun. But when she turned 13, she got in a fight with her mum and my niece's boyfriend of 17 ran away to a hotel with her. She spent quite a while missing, at least 2-3 months. She came back telling me her love was not true. When your growing up, people's emotions run wild; love cannot be true at 13, nor even 14.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2005): just tell them, they cant stop you. if they cant respect your decisions then they cant respect you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2005): Its a hard situation, if you tell your parents and they disaprove they may call a rape charge against him..
But if your feeling guilty over it, then you should introduce him to your parents, show them that your both serious in the relationship.
Umm telling then straight off the bat about hving sex probably wont lead to a very good ending, especially if your sure you love him.. (btw is this yor 1st boyfreind?)
How bout telling you BF that just for a while you two stop having sex, if his fine by that then he really does love you in return (although he'd prolly be a bit mad) and just cool it and assure him that its just to introduce your relationship to your parents..
Maybe after you've found out how your parents feel towards him, then you can decide on a decision to tell them... i guess the point im trying to make is this:
If you do love him, and i believe you can feel love for someone even at age 13, then i would hold off telling your parents until they can see your old enough, and mature enough to make your own decisions, and also until your sure they wont freak out and perhapes in a moment of freakedoutness report him to the police... You've placed yourselves in a very difficuly situation, and as much as i hate saying it, perhapes not telling your parents straight away that the two are sexualy active might be the best way...
Are you sure he loves you in return? i dont want to critise you or him, i do think 13 is a lill young for sex, but i dont think age matters either... Not really anyway, try cooling it for a while and just get to know each other more, devolpe stronger trusts with each other as well, ans get to know each other more and maybe just back down from that to make sure his not taking advantage of you, tell your parents only when your sure that they will be ok with it (although i doubt they will, but ok enough that they wont jump to the police, or ground you for life, or loose trust in you..)
Thats my own personal opinion anyway.
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female
reader, QOTU +, writes (23 October 2005):
 I'm in kinda the same situation, except my boyfriend and I haven't done "anything".
My advice (what I'm planning to do eventually) is to introduce him to your parents. Take him home, say "Mum, dad, this is [so-and-so]." Don't say silly things like "we're in love" because some people are stupid, and they'll think that you DON'T know what you're talking about. It isn't right to say whether a person actually DOES or DOESN'T know what they're talking about when it comes to love, because, you never know - they might know more than everybody else.
But, yeah - show them that he's a decent guy. Show them that you both care about each other alot (WITHOUT USING THE WORD "LOVE") and let your parents decide for themselves. Show them that you're mature enough to go through with this relationship.
:-) G'luck! 3 QOTU
PS - I don't think age really matters either... So long as the feeling /IS/ real, and one person isn't using the other. Why do you think Cupid was painted blind? :-P
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reader, Stewart Terrace +, writes (13 October 2005):
Well your only 13 and he is 18 him haveing sex with you is rape.... you have to be 16 but i know you think you love him an 18year old man can play mind games with you. I speacking from past experience if it is true love can't he wait til you are 16 so that the law cant step in.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2005): This is something that I really know. When I was 13 my boyfriend was 16. At 15, I was in a relationship with a man decades older. When I was 17, I married a guy of 26.I know that you really believe that you're in love, but all you have to do is scroll through some of the questions on this site relating to Age Differences, to see that your boyfriend is very likely after you only for the sex, and/or is too immature to have a serious relationship with a woman his own age. Incidentally, he *is* breaking the law in almost every Western nation, and will do serious jail time if he's found out. The very fact that he isn't man enough to face your family about the fact that he's having sex with their daughter shows that he has serious problems with taking responsibility for his actions. If you fall pregnant, I doubt he'll stick around to help you out.At 13, you should be focusing on your future by spending time on your studies, not sneaking around having underage sex with a possible paedophile. Here's a little mental test for you: if you're really in love with your boyfriend and he really loves you - just you - then he'll be prepared to wait for you to reach the legal age before you next have sex. Think that'll happen? No....You sell your folks short, saying they don't know what real love is. Hey, kiddo, you've only been on the planet for the last 13 years. Are you sure that you know everything about both of them and everything they've ever felt and thought, throughout their lives? You're 100% positive that they've never felt what you feel right now? That's a pretty arrogant and frankly, a breathtakingly ignorant, statement.What you need to do - since you asked - is realise that you're being taken advantage of. Your boyfriend only wants sex, and will likely wander off in short order if he doesn't get that. You should probably come clean to your folks so that they can protect you from this sexual predator and make sure that you have reliable contraception.You won't do any of this - because you're sure you're right and the whole rest of the world, even those of us who've been in your shoes, are wrong - but maybe it's something for you to think about anyway.
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reader, kt  +, writes (11 October 2005):
 its true your parents wont approve, but still i would at leats tell them that you have a boyfriend, so that when they do find out they cant say that you didnt tell them. i understand that you are totally smitten with him but i think that you are abit too young to understand love. on the other hand your parents probley do since they are together and they also have experience and you never know telling them could be a good idea.
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reader, Delila +, writes (11 October 2005):
This is really hard because at 13 you are vulnerable and when I was 13 I fell in love with a friend of my brothers who was 18. I was head over heels in love with him. But looking back now I am glad he didn't take advantage of my innocence. Ya sure he thought I was cute but at thirteen I was still a child as far as he was concerned. He would have been a paedophile to actually have had sex with me. Most guys at 18 just want sex and they will say anything to get it. You will not like what I am going to say but this guy is attracted to your innocence so what will he do when you grow up and become a woman? Tell some adult you feel you can trust. Please!
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (11 October 2005):
 Hi lewdness, I think you were a lil bit too harsh in saying that your parents would freak out because they dont understand what true love is. Well, Im sure they do thats why they're together. And also, Im sure they have been dating so much other people before they met each other, so just give them a break on that one. To be honest, they're just worried about you because they love you so very much. You would be if you had a daughter as well wouldnt you? I seriously dont think that what they're doing here is wrong at all. In fact, because Im a fairly open person, I also dont think that what you're doing is wrong (although having sex at the age of 13 is a wee bit too young). If you want your parents to understand you, I reckon you have to first understand them and why they will freak out if they found out about you and him. You have to be honest here, that you dont normally find a 13 yr old dating an 18 yr old so just give them some time to get adjusted to it. Whatever it is, you should tell them so that you show them you're not hiding anything from them and that you're matured enough to make your own choices. Most importantly, it reassures them that you do know what you're doing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2005): okay knowing where your comeing from..(i was 15 dating a 21yr old, and still date older men) dating much older than most. and i know exactly what parents feel about the situation. im telling you now as you already know, your parents will not approve! ive been there and its very obvious! you are still at that age where your parents have the right to care. let them. think of the consequences when your parents find out. dont strain your relationship with your parents for some guy im telling you know its not worth it. your young. and i dont care how much he truely loves you, because at his age its very very easy to find a girl.sorry i think its not even worth it. think about what the situation is and the consequesces and decide.
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