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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been in a long distance relationship for a year....he had flown down to see me about a month after meeting and we had a good time so we decided to try this as I had never tried being in a long distance relationship. He had been open to me me about his past relationship and we have much in common and things were going great until we arranged for me to go see him. He has cancelled plans on me 2-3 times and most of his excuses were work. He does travel for his job but I have been fed up with the excuses. Since last wkend we talked for 3.5 hrs and if he has that much time to talk we can see each other for at least one day. I told him that I need to see the person I am with and talk more than once a week. I also asked him about this. He claimed that I was right and that he would like to see me again and that we are together and he doesn't want to end things but if I am unhappy I should move on. Last time we talked told him that he needs to show me if he wants this. It has been a week and had not called me back as told me that he would call me this week about meeting.
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female
reader, missdee +, writes (20 September 2005):
Long distance relationships are always hard even if both people are trying to make it work. In a relationship you have to compromise. Even if things stand in the way such as work. You should be able to be with the one that you care about and have that person with you. If not how will you ever make a relationship work?
You are totally right about if he can talk for 3.5 hrs then he should be able to see you for at least a day. That is in no way asking to much of him. If he can't meet you half way in the things you desire then maybe you need to move on and find someone closer to you.
You told him to show you, and he didn't call for a week I believe you have your answer. Start dating other people, if he comes around if you are still interested you can give it a try. Don't waste your life waiting for a man to come to you. Life is to short for that.
A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (19 September 2005):
Hi,
sorry to hear you are having dificulty deciding what this all means. It sounds to me as if you are both at different places in terms of how involved you are with the relationship, you want more contact and he seemed fine with the way things were. You pressuring him to come and see you in person may have been what has caused him to back off even more. I am not faulting you for this, you are right to express your needs and wishes in a relationship. What has happened is that he does not feel as if he is able to meet your needs for the present and he is not as good at communicating clearly how he feels. If your needs are not being met then you can cut your losses now and call it a day. It might hurt but better sooner than later.
Hope you get some clarity on this.
Delila
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2005): Why are you being so silly. This man is obviously with someone else and is stringing you along,he has no respect for you if you don't even know the next time he will call.
Have some respect for yourself and walk away at least on your terms and not his, go and waste your time and energy on someone who is worth it, beleive me he isn't.
Good luck.
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