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female
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anonymous
writes: Why cant he just show me he cares?Help me,I love my partner but I feel we will be over soon - if not already. Certain events have happened during the course of the last year to cause me to be insecure and depressed. The problem is - he just does not seem to care in the slightest. I have had to deal with meeting countless ex partners of his, hear talk about what a womaniser he was, find out he has never been faithful in his life, find out time after time he has lied about going out, and most recently deal with an STI he passed on to me resulting in me needing an operation to get over. This most recent problem has led to us being unable to be intimate with each other for several months - I found out two days ago that he has been waiting for me to leave his house of an evening and then downloading graphic pornography two minutes after I have left. I understand that porn is part of a man's life but to find this out after my recent health problems (created by him) has really hit me. I feel unattractive and unwanted. We argued and resolved the matter but since then I have been feeling so low and found myself crying in bed last night. He asked me what was wrong and hugged me, and when I told him how unattractive I feel and how low I am, he turned over and carried on watching the TV - accusing me of bringing up a problem that was sorted. I wasnt doing that - I wasn't blaming anyone or looking for any argument, I just needed to get it off my chest and needed to turn to him. He got angry and ignored me, slept with his back to me and has ignored me since. Why doesnt he care? I need him and he doesn't care.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): I really feel for you, but you know what you're going to be just fine whether with him or without him. Sometimes we women let our imagination get the best of us. He is not the only guys in this earth. We women must love ourselves before our partner, Unfortunately, we seem to ignore that part. play the same game and see what you get I bet he won't handle it.
A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (11 October 2005):
Okay, Why do you feel you need this guy? You are in a bad way BECAUSE of him! The way I see it, you looking for love from this guy is like the jews going to hilter and asking him to care for them because they were persecuted! You are in an abusive relationship, the longer you stay in it the harder it will be for you to heal. I know from experience that after five years in an abusive relationship it took me five years to get myself back to normal. I was never the woman I was before I was with that guy, and neither will you be. The sooner you get out the sooner you will start to get better.
GET OUT NOW! LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH!
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (11 October 2005):
 Oh dear, it looks like you're in a very difficult situation here. Your man's treating you like crap and yet you 'have' to put up with it just because you love him so very much. I know this is something you dont want to hear but this guy's walking all over you because you're not putting your foot down. You have to let him know you're serious about the relationship and that you can't have him treating you like this!! Leaving him will be the best thing to do but ultimately, the choice is yours. If you still want to go ahead and fight for this relationship (which in my opinion isnt worth fighting for anyways), well, fair enough as only you will understand how much you feel for him. But I suggest you have a thorough conversation with him and tell him how you feel. Judging from his character, I reckon he wouldnt give you the time of day about it and would not change, not unless you do something so drastic that will hopefully force him to change his ways, if he loves you back that is. And by drastic I mean putting your foot down and say, this is it...you either start treating me better or I WILL LEAVE!! period!!
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A
female
reader, AuntieChrissy +, writes (10 October 2005):
Dump him. He's no good for you. You deserve a lot better.
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