I'm a man who is being emotionally abused by his female partner. What should I do?
Q. I have reason to believe I am a male in an abusive relationship. I have been with my Fiance for 7 years, we have 2 kids, and she makes me feel completely worthless on a daily basis. In the start she used to make me feel limitless, a companion i ...
A. 21 December 2014: As someone who has endured years of psychological abuse plus the odd bit of physical for good measure, the one word that jumps out at me is 'fiancée' Under no terms marry this woman!!!
.You may choose to stay for the sake of the kids but one day ... (read in full...)
Flirting leading to some kissing at Christmas work function. Will my reputation be tarnished? How do I handle any reactions at work?
Q. Hello everyone. Ive been at my current office job for about 3 months now and we've just had our annual Christmas work do. I'm 22 and I have had a bit of a crush on one of my coworkers for a while. He is 45 and married. I'm also in a long term r...
A. 20 December 2014: People do unwise things at Xmas parties when the booze has been flowing. Accept the fact it was a drunken mistake and draw a line underneath it.
There's a lot of self righteous priggishness in the other responses, your job isn't at risk, the wors... (read in full...)
Former fwb guy is now acting weird since I have started dating someone!
Q. I've had this thing for ages with this guy. We started off as friends with benefits really, no strings and that's what we were both happy with. This carried on for about a year and obviously we got to know each other really well and it did develop ...
A. 11 November 2014: I think he wants you as his girlfriend. He took on the other girl as a way of forcing the issue with you, hoping you'd tell him you want to go official.That's why he never made much of an issue about being with her publicly. Now you've found ... (read in full...)
I'm off to a good start in life but my mother will never value me
Q. Hi everyone, I came on here because I just wanted some advice. I am 22 years old, I also have an older sister who is 24 years old. Growing up I always knew my mum loved her more than me, growing up my mum use to pick on me, she use to poke fun at ...
A. 27 September 2014: I'm not too sure what your question is but the answer is obvious, albeit difficult to swallow.For the sake of your young family, and the decent respectable life you've built for yourself in spite of your upbringing, you need to lose them from your ... (read in full...)
Is there any deeper meaning to his visits?
Q. Very confused, I've been off sick from work for a while now.. My marriage Has broke up.. We were married for 22 years to cut along Story short.. My HR, manager came to visit me at my Home to see when I would be returning yo work.. But my boss ...
A. 2 September 2014: You are reading FAR too much into this. Where I work ,and probably in most other places, a long term sick home visit would invariably be carried out by your manager and a HR representative, on the basis that they know you best and you are THEIR ... (read in full...)
I had an affair with a younger man and I wanted to hurt his girlfriend so I told her about what we did. I thought this would break them but they're back together. What do I do now?
Q. I've been very stupid. 6 weeks ago I started to talk to a man 11 years younger than myself, he was at work when I met him and I asked for his number for a job that I needed doing in my home. I text him and it started off innocently, I ne...
A. 2 September 2014: I'm not going to comment on the rights and wrongs of the affair, that's for your conscience to handle. However, contacting this girl would be cruel and punishing the one person in this triangle who is blameless. Just consider this, will this guy ... (read in full...)
Is there any deeper meaning to his visits?
Q. Very confused, I've been off sick from work for a while now.. My marriage Has broke up.. We were married for 22 years to cut along Story short.. My HR, manager came to visit me at my Home to see when I would be returning yo work.. But my boss ...
A. 2 September 2014: You are reading FAR too much into this. Where I work ,and probably in most other places, a long term sick home visit would invariably be carried out by your manager and a HR representative, on the basis that they know you best and you are THEIR ... (read in full...)
Do men like biting and scratching during sex?
Q. Is it enjoyable for a guy to have his back grabbed/ lightly scratched during sex? Lip bitten? I just don't want to hurt or turn men off. When I get excited, I can't help it! Opinions? ...
A. 11 August 2014: If its in the heats of passion, then yeah!
If its premeditated, then its going into the realms of bdsm, which is something else entirely and something that should be discussed beforehand with your partner... (read in full...)
I need help to process this. My husband had oral sex with the daughter of his ex:
Q. I have been married for 3 years and have been having this issue his his ex girlfriend and her daughter. When we got together he was living with her and her daughter and they have been together for 16 years. They had an open relationship to a cert...
A. 6 June 2014: You won't want to hear this but your husband has paedophile tendencies. No matter how much 'pressure' he had put upon him, to shave a 13 year old girls pubic area shows an astonishing lack of moral judgement. To perform oral sex on her at a later ... (read in full...)
He says on his profile he wants to date 1 woman but he asked Me for FWB-FB and he is seeing others???
Q. On the dating site he said he was looking to date ONE woman 1 on 1 now he asked me if I " was "cool being F**ck Buddies"! I'm really attracted to him and think we could be together well if he let's me in-should I agree and see if things develop ...
A. 6 June 2014: Dear OP
Im not saying AT ALL that men don't want their wives or girlfriends to dress up or be adventurous in bed.The point I'm trying to make is that when you had the chance to set down your marker and tell him what you did or didn't want in the r... (read in full...)
He says on his profile he wants to date 1 woman but he asked Me for FWB-FB and he is seeing others???
Q. On the dating site he said he was looking to date ONE woman 1 on 1 now he asked me if I " was "cool being F**ck Buddies"! I'm really attracted to him and think we could be together well if he let's me in-should I agree and see if things develop ...
A. 5 June 2014: If you don't want to be treated as his FWB then the answer is very simple- stop behaving like you are.Even when you tried to confront him with it, you ended up dressing up as a dominatrix and spanking him for it.How can you hope to be taken ... (read in full...)
Did she lie about being pregnant / having an abortion?
Q. I hooked up with this girl 9 weeks ago, we're both teenagers, she told me she loved me after knowing me for only a day. she became annoying and shes a psycho so I blocked her number for 2 weeks. After we had sex she asked me "what if I wasnt really ...
A. 5 June 2014: She's a crank! She sounds like she's got low self esteem which is why she's sleeping with basically anyone.The whole abortion scenario is fantasy which she is using to try and control you into becoming her boyfriend. Even the three monthly period ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to cope with these feelings of being too small!
Q. I need to know who feels the same and how to get rid of these feelings. I feel below women who are more attractive than me (pornstars, glamour models) I feel like they have more power over men, it hurts me. I feel small. I want a boob job. I'm ...
A. 17 May 2014: My advice is to not even consider it.I once knew a girl in a similar situation to you.Her boyfriend was a porn addict and made her feel unattractive and undesirable even though she had a beauty that surpassed most other girls.He had knocked her self ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to step up in the personal hygiene department?
Q. Hello. I have a problem that I really need advice for. Thing is, it's kind of gross, and I don't mean to offend anyone. My question is, how can I get my husband to step up in the personal hygiene department? I'll give you some back story. He i...
A. 15 May 2014: http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/pages/product_detail.asp?pid=1687
If he takes offence, try this
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Litre-Black-lockable-handles-made/dp/B002DZT5RE/ref=sr_1_1?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1400146471&sr=1-1
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a blowjob but I can't do it due to past experiences
Q. My current boyfriend of almost a year really wants me to give him a blowjob. He's asked a number of times and at first I thought nothing of it and said I would at some point, but more recently he's become more naggy on the topic. This has made me ...
A. 9 May 2014: Cerberus has made some good points.However my question to you is this: why do you even want to be in a relationship with a guy who discusses what you do sexually with his mates? It shows that he doesn't respect you and because of that he'll never ... (read in full...)
In an LDR for 3 years, we rarely see each other, and have had sex 3 times! She says she loves me but I'm not sure she wants to be with me. What should I do?
Q. Hello.I am a 31 year old guy and I have been in a relationship with a younger woman for the past 3 years.We live around 100 miles from one another but have kept things going but I rarely ever see her and in those 3 years she has come up to see me ...
A. 7 May 2014: For whatever reason, she's leading you on while she continues her day to day life that she doesn't want to involve you in. She sees you as nothing more than a fallback option for when it all goes wrong.
Reading your post, my initial reaction... (read in full...)
Guys ... Have you ever seen a woman and been so turned on that you felt the need to go and relieve yourself?
Q. A question for the guys ... Have you ever seen a woman and been so turned on that you felt the need to go and relieve yourself .... I ask because my bf said he did this before we were together . He saw a very sexy woman one day out and said he went ...
A. 4 May 2014: Even as a man , that seems a bit creepy to me.As a woman you probably think even more so.Surely if he did do that he should have kept it to himself. Eww!... (read in full...)
Is there one person you've never got over?
Q. Is there one person you've never got over? When I was in my early 20s I had a brief (2 year) relationship with a man. He was the first man to ever treat me properly and he was the perfect gentleman - for the first 18 months at least! The last ...
A. 15 April 2014: Yes and I think about her every day even though she won't even acknowledge me anymore.
If you can look back fondly without it affecting your present situation, then think yourself lucky for the experience.
So many of us are in a similar situatio... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped communicating, and why did he check my profile?
Q. Hi, should i take myself off the dating website that i am currently on? I have met a really nice guy via this dating site and we are going to meet in 2 weeks. We have been communicating for more than a few months now. It is because of me, t...
A. 15 April 2014: Rightly or wrongly, he probably thought by coming off of the site he was showing a commitment to you and wanting to make it work, and probably expected the same from you.
If he thought you were still active on the site, he may well have doubted that... (read in full...)
My fab new BF ticks all my boxes but won't give oral
Q. Dear all Please advise. I ve been dating this fabulous guy for around a monthnow. He is kind, intelligent, reliable, handsome and has loads of otger great qualities. We get on very well and I could not ask for more except he doesn' t do oral whi...
A. 28 February 2014: If its an important part of your sexual repertoire you need to give him an ultimatum of no bj's unless he's gonna go down on you. If he's never done it, how does he know he doesn't like it. It's a very intimate, non reciprocal act which demonstrates ... (read in full...)
Why is it a big deal for my boyfriend and I to be 7 years apart?
Q. im 14 turning 15 and my lover has just turned 23 and we are pretty far apart in age but does it really matter? we do not have a sexual relationship and nobody except a close adult friend of mine knows, I feel the urge to tell my mother that im in ...
A. 28 February 2014: Yes it's a very big deal. When you're older 7 (or 9) years isn't that much of a problem, but for now you're a child and he's a grown man. You may be blinkered to the fact because you're not having sex but he is grooming you. Admittedly he's not ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has said "I'm a keeper" multiple times out of no where?
Q. So this past week my bf has said I was a keeper multiple times. Last night he tells me his boss wanted to meet me because he was telling her about me, he said "she's a keeper". Within the past 2 days he's said it 3 times. what does that really mean ...
A. 27 February 2014: He's using the expression this regularly and suddenly because someone has asked him about you using the same phrase.It's made him think about it seriously and he's come to the conclusion that he wants long term with you.
Its a crap expression thou... (read in full...)
Partner hooked by a particular type of porn... and has acted on it. How secure is our future?
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend of a year has an addiction to SHEMALE porn. He has been watching now for about 10 years and he is about to be 30. Not only does he masturbate to it on a frequent basis, but he has actually acted on it a few years ...
A. 27 February 2014: I would say he's bisexual but is suppressing his feelings by wrapping it up in an interest in she-males.If he's still looking at porn of that type, he obviously hasn't scratched his inquisitive itch and will most likely act on the urge again, as you ... (read in full...)
We've been talking on the phone for 6 months, dating for 5 weeks, we are a perfect match and he has asked me to move in with him!
Q. I was speaking to a guy on the phone for about 6 months, he always asked me out on a date but going from his picture he wasn't my type. Then my car blew up and he said he knew someone who had a golf so 1 afternoon my mum and 1 went up to see it and ...
A. 25 February 2014: It's way too soon.I know from experience having moved in with my ( now) wife after 6 weeks.That may sound an odd statement bearing in mind that we've been together 25 years but the first few years were tough as we discovered that we didn't really ... (read in full...)
First one night stand has me wondering why boys are like this!
Q. On Friday I had my first ever one night stabd! But I really havebt taken it well I didn't know the guy I had met him that night And had spent most of the night with him we had got to talking and he took me back to his. Obviously everything happened ...
A. 25 February 2014: If you wanted this to be anything more than a ONS, maybe you should have taken the bull by the horns and contacted him the next day.By leaving it 2 days and then only to check on something you'd left behind, you effectively confirmed it with him ... (read in full...)
Why is he acting like this? A late mid-life crisis?
Q. ok so theres this guy at work and usually i just say hi then carry on with my work. like i dont pay him much attention recently every time i walk past him he'll pretend to punch me(without making contact) /lightly punch my arm or like pretend to ...
A. 25 February 2014: He's being friendly! Unless he's totally deluded, he has no other kind of interest in you and is just trying to create a relaxed working relationship with you.If you had any doubts at all about him having ulterior motives towards you, you shouldn't ... (read in full...)
My husband went out with another girl while we were engaged and now I'm wondering if it happened more than once!
Q. I am in despair, and don't know what to make of it. I am married for 2 years, and have a 3 months old child. A week ago i found out from a so called "friend", that during the time when we were still engaged my husband went out with a friend o...
A. 23 February 2014: It seems your so called friend has done this out of spite, maybe even jealousy.She's been sitting on this for a couple of years and has decided to tell you now? Your husband has admitted it so you don't stand to gain anything by questioning it ... (read in full...)
Should I interfere?
Q. I have two older sisters and, unfortunately there is a fall out with the eldest one and she has been off the scene for a year and a half. I learned she was dating someone older and she visited our mother at Christmas with him. Right enough, he is ni...
A. 21 February 2014: This will be hard for you to do but you have to let your sister find out for herself what he is really like. She won't thank you for interfering and you have way overstepped the mark by contacting his ex.She will most likely be bitter towards him ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is acting sneaky with his laptop and phone!
Q. I live with my boyfriend of 5 years and have always trusted him but have been noticing recently that he acts sneaky with his phone and laptop. If I come into the room he will swipe everything off his page so that I can't see he also always makes ...
A. 17 February 2014: You know what he's up to already.Don't make a scene or try to catch him out.Ask him straight out who she is and where its going.Disarm him Don't give him the option of lying or making up excuses. How he answers will help you decide your next move.It ... (read in full...)
He bugged me and bugged me for a nude picture and I never gave in, but I want what we had back! Advice, please!
Q. Alright so this isn't really a question but more of a combination of a question and a rant. It might be really long but I really need help with this. Its kind of a long story so last year was my first year in highschool. my first seme...
A. 17 February 2014: You don't need this creep in your life or anywhere near it. By not kicking him into touch you're putting yourself at risk from far worse attentions from him than asking for a nude photo or touching your ass.This is potentially how rapists start out.... (read in full...)
He lied, and his real age has freaked me out!
Q. Making this short because I just recently found out. I don't know how to tell any of my friends about this either but I've been dating this guy I work with for about 2 months and all this time I thought he was 25 because that's what he told me. He ...
A. 17 February 2014: The age difference needn't be a problem. There's a lot of theories about the ideal age difference between men and women, especially considering the rate at which they mature as people. So in that respect, it COULD work, particularly if he's young ... (read in full...)
Comfort zones and new relationships- I'm confused!
Q. I'm 20 and have little experience with relationships and that experience isn't necessarily good. The first 'hook-up' I had left me feeling heartbroken and used at 17. At the time I naively thought we were in a relationship but little did I know ...
A. 10 February 2014: Any guy who takes you out for a drink and invites you back to his should be willing to accept that it may not go any further.If they don't then they're not worth bothering with.It's the moments like this that allow you to get closer to someone and ... (read in full...)
How much is too much in a relationship?
Q. Hi all, I've been in a relationship for about 8 years, and it's had a lot of ups and downs. For a while now, more downs than ups, I think he and I would both agree. We had been long distance for a while, came together for graduate school which wa...
A. 10 February 2014: Eight years is a long time and given your age I'd guess that you've both changed a lot in those 8 years.As people mature they can grow apart, it's a fact of life.I think you already know the answer, you just want confirmation.This relationship has ... (read in full...)
Sex, dating and relationship. When should we have sex?
Q. I've being dating a girl for four months and we've had nice times and whenever I am away from her and I don't call for a day, she gets angry with me or suspects me of having another girlfriend. She has that soft spot, very pretty and respectful and ...
A. 6 February 2014: I think your problem is that you're holding back too much.The fact she suspects you of having another girlfriend tells me that she's wanting a bit more passion and commitment from you, but suspects you might be be getting it elsewhere. If you've t... (read in full...)
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