A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I have a problem that I really need advice for. Thing is, it's kind of gross, and I don't mean to offend anyone. My question is, how can I get my husband to step up in the personal hygiene department? I'll give you some back story. He isn't circumcised, and he will pee sitting down leaving some urine under the skin. He constantly wants me to go down on him, but I just can't do it anymore without nearly throwing up. It smells funny. And the last 2 times I've started to give him a bj, once the skin is back and the head of the penis is revealed there was a white dried on substance (which I think was semen). And the other time I literally got toilet paper in my mouth. I can't even describe how grossed out I get. This bothers me SO much, and I hate having to ask for advice on something like this, but I just don't know what else to do right now. I very much enjoy giving him a bj, when he's clean. (which is very rare). So if anyone has advice on what I can do to solve this problem, please, please, please HELP!
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male
reader, crushed_by_love  +, writes (15 May 2014):
http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/pages/product_detail.asp?pid=1687
If he takes offence, try this
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Litre-Black-lockable-handles-made/dp/B002DZT5RE/ref=sr_1_1?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1400146471&sr=1-1
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2014): tell him you'll only give him head if he showers and clean himself properly first ughh I thought those things were tacit knowledge.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2014): Actually I am very much surprised reading it. I was born in a country where there was no circumcisions. All men I had sex with never had any problem with smell or any other disgusting stuff. On a contrary, once I had sex with guy who was circumcised and he smelled. I was so shocked by this and grossed out .
But that was only that one time. My husband is not circumcised and we are married for more than 20 years, and I never ever smelled anything. I tought all men knew how to clean themselves well.
Your husband needs to hear it. How else otherwise he starts taking better careof himself? You are right, it is gross.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2014): Ugh jesus christ. My mother didn't medically mutilate me either and so she taught me the importance of penile hygiene.
OP that white stuff is called smegma or colloquially as dick cheese, and it's disgusting.
It's simple, OP, he's a grown man so just tell him you want to give him BJ's but his dick is filthy and he needs to take better care of it.
I had a girlfriend who got a nasty smeg build up between her labia (yes it happens women too) and I just said it out straight.
"Babe I love giving you head and you'd get it a lot more if you kept yourself cleaner down there."
Simple as that.
OP a penis should never get to the stage where there's a smeg build up, I mean that takes days of not washing under the foreskin to build up.
It's like he was never taught to clean under there or to roll back his foreskin when taking a piss so there isn't a urine build up under there.
Three times a day you have to clean under there, and more if you've had sex, a blow job or a messy piss.
Get him baby wipes and tell him to get into the habit of using them every now an again. They're not recommended but they work perfectly.
Clean penis = more blow jobs, less risk of infection for you and him, and means he's less likely to get other extremely nasty conditions like balanitis.
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A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (13 May 2014):
 Hi,
Tell him straight, no clean no sex/bj. In an adult relationship things like this shouldn't be an issue and if he doesn't have the self respect to clean himself, refuse sex.
It's not just cleanliness but can lead to infections in you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2014): I've said that straight out to my boyfriend on the one or two occasions it's happened. He was a bit embarrassed but we both laughed it off and made a joke about it. He's your husband - just say it!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2014): HiQuite simply..your husband has a very unhealthy lack of respect..not just for himself and his personal hygiene ..but for you his wife and your opinion on this. As an uncircumcised man I can understand that this can be a problem from time to time but because I know this I spend the small amount of time it takes to make sure I am clean before being intimate with my partner.The thought of my girlfriend being turned off by me is unacceptable ..I think you have to just refuse point blank to go anywhere near him intimately until he changes his attitude and puts your feelings first. If he can't or won't do that..over something like this..well I'm afraid you've probably married the wrong guy...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2014): My husband does the same, but the difference is he keeps himself clean. He knows that if he wants a bj, he washes himself off first. (Like if he comes home after work, ect) So just make it a rule if he wants a bj he needs to keep himself clean/wash off, clean it well BEFOREbjs or sexual activity
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (13 May 2014):
I wouldn't mince words here. Just tell him that a number of times when you have gone down on him you've noticed that he wasn't as clean as he should be down there, considering you're putting your mouth on it. Tell him if he wants anymore BJ's he needs to take a shower and specifically clean that area, including behind the foreskin.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 May 2014):
 I'm with Wise.
TELL him straight out, next time he wants to get some head or just sex, that it's a HUGE turn off when he isn't clean.
Removing the foreskin won't make him more clean. HE needs to take care of that himself.
For a grown ass man that is just NASTY.
If you don't know how to tell him is a polite way, then STOP being polite for a minute.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): Refuse blowjobs unless it is clean!!!
You can get vaginal infections and a sore throat from the unhealthy bacteria forming on the head under the skin. He is a grown man; and you should be very firm about his hygiene. If he wants you do perform oral sex, only do so under hygienically-clean and pleasurable conditions. He increases the risk of yeast and bladder infections for you as well.
Even if he decided to get circumcised; I'm sure a lot more is unclean than just his penis! He needs to shower before sex; and pull back the foreskin when urinating. Either that, or get rid of it!!! If his hygiene is like that of a trifling adolescent boy; he should be told to wash his johnson (and everything) else like one.
I can't put it in any more pleasant words than nasty!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): It's easy. Just ask him to shower/rinse off before sex. I like to rinse off before my bf goes down on me, because I like to feel clean!
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