| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've had this thing for ages with this guy. We started off as friends with benefits really, no strings and that's what we were both happy with. This carried on for about a year and obviously we got to know each other really well and it did develop into almost a relationship I guess, although neither of us would really admit this. Anyway, he eventually found a gf and so obviously the fwb stopped but he said I meant a lot to him so he wanted us to stay friends which we did. I completely accepted the fact he has a gf and that didn't bother me as I didn't want a relationship. So he's been with this girl for about a year now and we've stayed friends - nothing more. He kept her very secret in a way, rarely mentioning her on facebook or Instagram and talking very little about her to me, apart from to tell me on a couple of occasions that he didn't think the relationship was going anywhere and he just felt like there was something missing. About 10 weeks ago I got introduced to someone and really hit it off with him, we've started dating and things are going well. I told my friend this and he went quiet, to me it seemed quite obvious that he didn't like it. Although I've not spoken much to him about the new guy, he has asked me a lot of questions about him. I've also noticed he's started mentioning his gf constantly on facebook etc and when he talks to me. This weekend he took her away for a spontaneous weekend and posted over 100 pics of them together, yet there's only 3 pics of them together before this weekend! A few friends have said it's like he's trying to make me jealous as he doesn't like that I'm now seeing someone, does this sound like something someone would do? Why would he be trying to do that when neither of us wanted a relationship? It could just be that I've got it all wrong but his behaviour is very out of character
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male
reader, crushed_by_love  +, writes (11 November 2014):
I think he wants you as his girlfriend. He took on the other girl as a way of forcing the issue with you, hoping you'd tell him you want to go official.That's why he never made much of an issue about being with her publicly. Now you've found someone, yes he is jealous, and is keen to tell the world that he doesn't need you, he's very happy with his new gf etc.Except he's not!I don't really understand the whole fwb dynamic, but I think you need to talk and admit your true feelings for each other.If you really want to be a proper couple, finish with your new partners cleanly and respectfully.Neither of you have effectively been unfaithful so there shouldn't be lots of horrible repercussions. If you decide that you don't feel that way towards each other, you need a permanent break with no contact to allow new relationships to develop
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 November 2014):
 I'd say he was jealous. Just because he didn't want you officially, doesn't mean he wants someone else to have you. He enjoyed having his girlfriend and his special lady friend on the side (even if you weren't sexual at that time).I can't say I agree with the anonymous reader below. I don't think either one of you has been mature here. To keep in touch with a former bed buddy while either one of you was involved with someone else was, in my opinion, very poor judgment.How is anyone you date supposed to take you seriously when you've got former bed buddies hanging about? And what kind of friendship do you expect to have with a guy who has to compartmentalize you to keep his new girlfriend happy?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 November 2014):
 Yeah just ignore him and place all your attention on your current budding romance.
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