A
male
age
30-35,
*rico
writes:I've being dating a girl for four months and we've had nice times and whenever I am away from her and I don't call for a day, she gets angry with me or suspects me of having another girlfriend. She has that soft spot, very pretty and respectful and also a good poet. I write poems to her which really makes her very happy.She is so romantic whenever we are together. We have touched, kissed but I haven't had sex with her and have had opportunities to do so but I turn to have high self control and am a kind of person who doesn't push so much for sex though we've had opportunities to do, so but end up not doing it. For me I believe lets gradually build our love, know each other well and sex will be a later result of the long term intimacy which will render a much more powerful feeling for each other. I am a very romantic guy and sometimes I do have this intense urge to have sex with her anytime we are together and I do see it in her eyes the eagerness for it when she looks and touches me tenderly though hasn't ask verbally for it.I am very fond of her and her friends do see us as a perfect match for each other. And her friends do ask me whether whether we've had sex. I do usually say yes knowing full well in me it's no even when they do ask her she says the same. We do share beautiful poems and text both verbally and electronically. I do say severally that I love her and value her and she reciprocates not regarding we've not had sex. Please dear kind and benevolent readers, I want to know if she will highly value and appreciate my person and will have regards for me in the long run and her love won't fade for not having sex with her a long time.Please help me, I have been having this doubt in my mind or should I do it with her as soon as possible thanks.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 February 2014):
 you should TALK to her about it as soon as possible.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 February 2014):
 I agree with the Owl, you can bring up with her during one of your tender moments together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2014): I think that's a question you should be directing at your girlfriend. It's up to her.
She should decide when she is ready. Have a discussion about where your relationship is going; and when she feels ready.
Please practice safe-sex. Condoms don't mean you don't trust her, it means you want to protect her; and you want to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.
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A
male
reader, crushed_by_love  +, writes (6 February 2014):
I think your problem is that you're holding back too much.The fact she suspects you of having another girlfriend tells me that she's wanting a bit more passion and commitment from you, but suspects you might be be getting it elsewhere.If you've told her friends that you're having sex, you can bet your life they've told her which is going to ring alarm bells once again.It's admirable that you're so respectful to her but you are grown adults and if you want to take things further, you need to talk to each other about it.If you can't discuss it, you're probably not ready to do the deed.Try saying to her that your friends have been asking about whether you've been having sex.Make a joke of it but let her know that that's what you want, you just need her to let you know when she's ready.If she doesn't feel ready yet, so be it, but keep talking, I don't mean by being pushy but ultimately it's an important part of any future relationship you may have.And good luck
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